When to plan a pregnancy

Nathalie · Jul 25, 2005

Well its entirely up to you. If you think you can handle it than go fot it. Everyone can handle a different amount of workload. But Hey youre going to have plenty of sleepless night studying in nursing school so you may have them with your baby in your arms :chuckle If you decide to wait than you would be able to concentrate on school 100%. You could always plan your pregnancy to come right after you graduate but than you have to make sure that your new job will let you take maternity leave so shortly after you have been hired. Or you could always wait to find a job after you feel comfortable you can leave your baby in a day care or whatever your method of child care will be. WOW all this talk is making me wonder now!!! Well good luck with whatever you decide. Let us know. Maybe we can have an allnurses.com baby shower

elainebenes · Jul 25, 2005

Hey! I just wanted to let you know that I am going through a very similar situation. I am pregnant now and am currently taking my prerequisites. I am not taking any classes in the Spring and hope to start Nursing classes next Fall 06. Thankfully I have a BA in Psych already so I have those classes out of the way already, along with English and Humanities. My husband is in the Army so we had to base pregnancy off his deployments to Iraq. He just returned in March so we wanted him to have as much time with the baby as possible before he has to return again. Anyway, I am really going to try my hardest to do school and baby at the same time, b/c the sooner I finish school the sooner I can contribute a good income to this family which is what we really need. But no matter what, the baby is the first priority, so if I can't manage, hey at least I tried right? I 'll finish one day, that's for sure. But you have to consider that you are basically going to have to be able to pay for full time daycare (I made up a fake schedule for next fall based on this fall's course offerings and it pretty much is a full time schedule with classes, clinicals, and studying). And you will have to study while the baby sleeps at night. I have a very supportive husband and he is very encouraging so I think that will make a big difference. In my opinion, so far school has been easier than working while pregnant b/c you kind of get to make your own schedule of studying, and getting things done, and classes aren't that long. I didn't know how sick I would feel during pregnancy and was afraid to work and be locked into a long shift being sick and tired. Anyway, I'm sure that by the time I actually finish school and start working we will be ready for baby #2 so I am kind of in the same position as you. I hate to start a new job while pregnant. I guess that you don't have to start working right away. I posted the same question a few days ago about working while pregnant but only got one opinion. But anyway, don't try to overthink and schedule this kind of stuff too much. You never know how long it will take to get pregnant and who knows what else may come up in life. Just let things happen they way they are meant to happen. You will get through it and be successful no matter what!!! There is never the 'right' time in life to have a baby, something is always going on with work, not enough money, not a big enough house, etc. but once you do it you find a way to make it work and everything will turn out fine! Good luck! :)

HRM672 · Jul 25, 2005

It was great to see your posts, and know that I'm not alone in this situation. I'm starting an accelerated BSN program in August, I will graduate in December of 06. I also have a previous degree so I've only had to take 2 semesters of prerequisites. We want to have children (my husband has 2 already from a previous marriage, and he'll have to have a vasectomy reversal--very soon--for us to have children). Originally I was going to wait until I was out of school to try to get pregnant, but now I am going to stop taking BCP and just see what happens. I have agonized over this decision, but for medical reasons if I wait I may wait too long.

I've decided that God will guide us to the right time, and that nothing, not even school, is more important than my family. I'm very nervous about how it will all work out, but then, even if I was out of school I would be settling in at a job, or doing something else. There's never enough time or money to have a baby unless you just go for it, and make it your priority.

Still, though, I'm very anxious about putting this all togethor. Also, I know that I may have to take time off or rearrange my clinicals to avoiding exposing the baby to anything. Is there anyone out there who did go through nursing school pregnant?

pumpkinsooner · Jul 25, 2005

Boy, do I have experience here. I started nursing school when my first child was 8 weeks old, I had my second child during nursing school, and I finished on time.

Is it hard? Absolutely. You have to have an excellent support system, especially about child care. In the days when my husband was traveling overnight, I'd get up at 0430, get ready to go to clinicals, get both kids up and ready to go, drop them at child care at 0615, spend all day on the floor, get home at 1600, play with/bathe/play with kids until 2000, get them to bed, then spend 3 hours working on care plans and other homework until I collapsed at midnight. Then I'd get up at 0430 the next morning and do it all again. I still don't know how I did all that.

The school arranged for me to have my daughter in the middle of my psych rotation, because that's the rotation with the least physical work. There were three of us that year who had babies during school, and two of us finished on time, so it's definitely not impossible. You just have to keep your eyes on the prize -- remember what your goal is and do everything you can to juggle all the balls you have in the air.

I'll be happy to answer any questions you have. I think it's easier to answer questions than to just write, because I may not answer the question you have. Post them here (so others can see too) and I'll check back to answer them.

Chrissy82 · Jul 25, 2005

Boy, do I have experience here. I started nursing school when my first child was 8 weeks old, I had my second child during nursing school, and I finished on time.
Is it hard? Absolutely. You have to have an excellent support system, especially about child care. In the days when my husband was traveling overnight, I'd get up at 0430, get ready to go to clinicals, get both kids up and ready to go, drop them at child care at 0615, spend all day on the floor, get home at 1600, play with/bathe/play with kids until 2000, get them to bed, then spend 3 hours working on care plans and other homework until I collapsed at midnight. Then I'd get up at 0430 the next morning and do it all again. I still don't know how I did all that.
The school arranged for me to have my daughter in the middle of my psych rotation, because that's the rotation with the least physical work. There were three of us that year who had babies during school, and two of us finished on time, so it's definitely not impossible. You just have to keep your eyes on the prize -- remember what your goal is and do everything you can to juggle all the balls you have in the air.
I'll be happy to answer any questions you have. I think it's easier to answer questions than to just write, because I may not answer the question you have. Post them here (so others can see too) and I'll check back to answer them.

~

I guess, the question is not whether it's possible..I know people do it all the time, usually not on purpose is the general feeling I get..everyone says wait..that I'm young (i'm 23) but I am just really ready to start a family..it's hard to think about not even getting started for another 3+ years.

I think it would be different if I knew that I wouldn't have to worry about money when I start my program..I've counted the hours..classes plus clinicals 40+ hours a week not to mention the studying..and to think about having to keep some kind of job also during that time to help pay the bills..doesn't leave me with warm fuzzies when I think about having a baby..I guess I just want to be able to enjoy it not have to rush through barely being there..I'm afraid that the baby would be short changed..my mind would be somewhere else.

HRM672 · Jul 25, 2005

Pumpkinsooner,

Thanks for the info!! I do have some questions.

1-Did you feel like having the baby distracted you from school to the point that you couldn't concentrate, or conversely that school distracted you too much from the baby?

2-Did you regret doing it that way?

3-How did it affect your relationship with your husband?

4-Now that you are in the nursing field, and you can look at the entire picture, do you think it would be significantly easier to have a baby in the first year of your nursing career? I have the impression that if wouldn't be much different--the first few years of work are still a big learning experience.

Thanks!!

Heather

pumpkinsooner · Jul 25, 2005

~
I guess, the question is not whether it's possible..I know people do it all the time, usually not on purpose is the general feeling I get..everyone says wait..that I'm young (i'm 23) but I am just really ready to start a family..it's hard to think about not even getting started for another 3+ years.
I think it would be different if I knew that I wouldn't have to worry about money when I start my program..I've counted the hours..classes plus clinicals 40+ hours a week not to mention the studying..and to think about having to keep some kind of job also during that time to help pay the bills..doesn't leave me with warm fuzzies when I think about having a baby..I guess I just want to be able to enjoy it not have to rush through barely being there..I'm afraid that the baby would be short changed..my mind would be somewhere else.

In my case, I was racing against endometriosis; if I hadn't had my kids when I did, I might not ever have been able to have them at all. I was 23 when my oldest was born, and most of my friends didn't yet have kids because they were either just married or waiting to set aside more savings.

You're never going to be really ready, regardless of what they tell you about waiting or not waiting. Nursing school is hard enough without the extra burden of infants or toddlers, but so is the world of a new graduate nurse. New grads get the nights or rotating shifts, and they also have to learn how to be a nurse; school and working are two very different things. I think I did better as a new RN because I knew how to manage my time. I saw really smart, technically-capable nurses struggle with the patient load that I could handle pretty easily. To have an infant while working nights isn't fun, either.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're either going to be torn between school and baby or work and baby no matter what you decide. It's no more or less dangerous to be pregnant during school as it is to be pregnant working as an RN -- I think the physical demands aren't as great during school, but that probably varies from program to program. I don't think I'd like to be a new grad with a new baby, though -- too much 'newness.' :)

It's a tough decision. At least you have a little time to consider your choice carefully.

elainebenes · Jul 26, 2005

I am so glad you guys are all responding! This is really helping me figure things out for myself, as I'm sure it is for the original poster.

Chrissy82- just one more thing... you are still young in my opinion. But if you do decide to have a baby now and need to work, I definitely don't suggest school + work+ baby, that just seems like too much. You can have the baby now and work and then maybe go to nursing school when your child starts school in about five years. You will be starting school at age 28, which is not bad at all. I'm just starting now at 27. Lots of people in their 40's and 50's are going back to school for nursing, so don't think you would be out of the game. Maybe for work you could just do a quick certification program as a nurse's aide or ultrasound tech or something (I'm not sure how long those are or what opportunities there are but it's something to look into) and then you can be getting valuable hospital work experience while you have a baby and that should be really helpful when you go to nursing school. Just an idea, hope it helps!

Chrissy82 · Jul 26, 2005

I am so glad you guys are all responding! This is really helping me figure things out for myself, as I'm sure it is for the original poster.
Chrissy82- just one more thing... you are still young in my opinion. But if you do decide to have a baby now and need to work, I definitely don't suggest school + work+ baby, that just seems like too much. You can have the baby now and work and then maybe go to nursing school when your child starts school in about five years. You will be starting school at age 28, which is not bad at all. I'm just starting now at 27. Lots of people in their 40's and 50's are going back to school for nursing, so don't think you would be out of the game. Maybe for work you could just do a quick certification program as a nurse's aide or ultrasound tech or something (I'm not sure how long those are or what opportunities there are but it's something to look into) and then you can be getting valuable hospital work experience while you have a baby and that should be really helpful when you go to nursing school. Just an idea, hope it helps!

I am young..but when you think about it I will be 27 when I finish school~ I'd like to have at least 2 if not 3 kids..so I feel like to start at 27..is kind of pressing the clock..I know people have babies into their fourties..but that is just not for me.

Exactly what i'm thinking..baby + school + work= disaster? I know I will have to work..at least some and I think that's what really scares me. I am talented at multi-tasking..but is that just asking for a meltdown?

Education is of utmost importance, I don't want to put off school and beginning my career. I've looked into other programs and they really just don't interest me..nursing is my goal anything else would just be a detour..I already regret the time I spent earning my associates in business administration..had it not been for that..I would probly already have my RN or at least be close to finishing. Now I feel like i'm in a time trap.

Chrissy82 · Jul 26, 2005

Boy, do I have experience here. I started nursing school when my first child was 8 weeks old, I had my second child during nursing school, and I finished on time.
Is it hard? Absolutely. You have to have an excellent support system, especially about child care. In the days when my husband was traveling overnight, I'd get up at 0430, get ready to go to clinicals, get both kids up and ready to go, drop them at child care at 0615, spend all day on the floor, get home at 1600, play with/bathe/play with kids until 2000, get them to bed, then spend 3 hours working on care plans and other homework until I collapsed at midnight. Then I'd get up at 0430 the next morning and do it all again. I still don't know how I did all that.
The school arranged for me to have my daughter in the middle of my psych rotation, because that's the rotation with the least physical work. There were three of us that year who had babies during school, and two of us finished on time, so it's definitely not impossible. You just have to keep your eyes on the prize -- remember what your goal is and do everything you can to juggle all the balls you have in the air.
I'll be happy to answer any questions you have. I think it's easier to answer questions than to just write, because I may not answer the question you have. Post them here (so others can see too) and I'll check back to answer them.

Question..think about how hard it was for you during school with the kids..were you working at all at that time?

sugabuga · Jul 26, 2005

I'm in the same boat. I'm 23, been married 3 years, and have thought about the baby issure several times. I'll be 27 when I graduate. Not when I thought I'd be trying to have the first child, however, There'd be no way (financially) that we could swing both school and a baby. I don't want to have a baby the first year I work either so I'll wait until a year after. The national average for a woman to have her first baby is 26-27 these days (yup, I looked it up!) so I'm not really freaking out about it. I only want one though so it's not as big of a deal as it might be for you. I just know if I don't go to school now and I have a baby I'll won't be as likely to go back. Anyway, that's why I'm waiting. I just keep telling myself...all you have is time.