I walked into a patient room last week to help a coworker with a transfer. We situated the patient, I stood up as he said "Thank you" and I saw it. My father in law was looking right back at me. Only, it wasn't my father in law. He passed away a few months ago. It took me off guard but I was able to deal with it and said my goodbyes and went back to my patients.
Yesterday I had to cover that group of patients by myself. I did great the entire shift. I honestly didn't even notice a resemblance, until right towards the end of the shift. He made a facial expression and there it was again. The father in law was looking right at me.
After I left the room, my direct nurse (I'm an aide) started asking me about something regarding the man and I started crying. It was only a couple seconds and I took a deep breath and said "I'm o.k. Wow, that was awkward". I'm not a crier. But for some reason this patient really gets me emotional and I'm not sure how to handle it being so close to a man I loved like my own father. Has anyone else dealt with a situation like this? What did you do?
Well, all these post made me cry. Hard. I don't cry and dang it, this man has caused me more tears than a lake! It was cathartic to let some of it out. I'm just odd in that it took me days to fully react I suppose.
sharpeimom
2,452 Posts
Unfortunately, it does happen from time to time and it hurts when it does happen. The advice so far has been
good.
It's much harder when it's a negative reminder. I remember when a woman was admitted and she became my
new admission. I introduced myself and she said, "Hello Katherine!" in that VOICE! Her name was different but
there could be absolutely no doubt... she was my fifth grade nemesis: the dreaded MRS.___! Except, it wasn't!
It was then that I learned that the scary Mrs. ___ had an identical twin! Once I quit sweating and became an
adult again, I discovered that she was absolutely delightful!
On the flipside ... when I was a psych nurse, I repeatedly had this woman who reminded me so much of my mom
that it was spooky! I had to keep reminding myself that this lady WAS NOT MY MOM every single time I entered
her room. With each new admission, it would take two or three days before my brain and psyche adjusted.
It will happen for you too.