When do you follow your heart?

[FreckledCoffeeRN]

Ok before I start I don't need anyone to tell me that I'm being ungrateful, spoiled or anything of the sort. I know how lucky I am to have a job, work near home, have my BSN etc; this is just me venting.

Ok, so I'm a new grad- I work nights on a busy med/tele unit. I've been on my own for almost 2 months. I'm still working on time management, still triple checking everything I do and trying to manage my way through office politics and the estrogen-filled drama. In the time that I've been working my anxiety disorder has reared her ugly little head and although I'm working on it (counseling, life changes) it's still unnerved me a bit. My coworkers are a decent bunch, helpful and nice. Hours are ok.

So about now you're thinking.....so what's wrong with this picture? This is everyone's dream right?

But I'm not happy. I feel almost jaded, like this isn't why I went to nursing school- but this is nursing. I know my heart beats for mother-baby, NICU, Intermediate, L&D;but at this point in time I'd have to break out of my contract and apply somewhere for a job like this. And I do long to go back to school.

Do I stick with it? Do I settle, and if so- when do you stop settling?

[One1, BSN, RN]

There is nothing wrong with applying for positions in the areas you are interested in while you continue to work on your current floor. If you signed a money/time commitment then you need to decide if you can afford/are ok with breaking the contract should you get a new job offer. You might find that it will take you a while before you are attractive as a potential employee in these specialties, and every month you put into your current job will help you gain necessary experience.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

your current manager took a chance and hired a new grad, and then she trained you. you've been on your own for a mere two months, and i'm sure you would agree that you require more help from others when it comes to troubleshooting, time management, thinking things through and figuring things out than you're able to give. you owe it to your manager to give her a return on her investment in you, and you won't even be close to that for a year, preferably two.

[CoffeePVCs]

Cassie, I hear what you are thinking! Being a new nurse on a busy floor is like hell on wheels sometimes, but almost all of us on this new grad forum are on the same boat together.

I also have a big interest in one day pursing L&D but for now, I am glad I am getting this experience and working out the hard days on tele. There is a lot to learn and some days I wonder if I could handle it in the middle of a delivery going bad or a rapid c-section... I question that. I know comparing tele/med to L&D is much like bananas to celery but in terms of being able to stomach my own anxiety and stress, I think I need more time to work out a few more "quick get on my toes" situations before I have to handle the stress L&D. I don't know if that helps you any, but it is something that helps me.

[ED_Chris_RN]

I see all sides to this as I have seen both sides at work. I think that you do in a way owe something to your new company for hiring you as a new grad but in reality I think you should follow your heart. If push came to shove a company would drop you in an instant to protect their interests. But if you walk away with plenty of notice, I would say at least 6 weeks for a busy floor, then I think you are doing the best thing for you and the company. Because if you are not at a place you want to be, you are hurting yourself and may even be hurting the company and patients because of an unhappy disposition. You only live once, follow your heart and do what is best for you, in the long run that is what is best for the company and the patients as well.

[jpeters84]

Med-surg/tele is a really hard way to start your career, no doubt. Almost everyone that starts on a med/surg floor wants to go to a specialty floor as soon as possible. But two months? You need a little more sticktoitness than that. The first year everyone is just white-knuckling it through. It's tough, demoralizing, and everyone cried uncle at one point and time or aother only to realize that they need to continue to put one foot in front of another and keep going because it does get better. I also imagine you're hitting that point in time when the dream you had of what you thought nursing was going to be slowly fades away and the reality of what it really is presents itself. Running to a new floor may help for a little while but will only be a temporary band aid for what you're feeling. Plus- You were hired and trained you owe it to your manager and yourself to stick it out for at least 8mos-1year. It's great that your true passion is NICU, mother/baby, L&D and at some point in time you will get there. But just because it's your passion doesn't mean working on those floors is going to be all sunshine and roses. As a NICU nurse who always wanted to be a NICU nurse, let me tell you that even when you're working in a specialty that is your passion you hit a wall and start fantasizing about other specialties, other units, other hospitals, other careers. This is the ying and yang of nursing. This is the natural ebb and flow. Sometimes you love your job and sometimes you're looking for the first exit out...Hvae heart. Keep your head down, put one foot in front of the other, and keep going at your current job. Things will get better and before you know it you will be celebrating your 1 year anniversary and you'll be ready to move on.