When your first job doesn't work out

santhony44, MSN, RN, NP · May 31, 2008

I hope Commuter doesn't mind me paraphrasing her, but recently on another thread concerning someone else leaving a job she mentioned that when we leave a job, for whatever reason, we grieve a bit. I thought that was a very wise comment, and I think that's exactly what you are doing here. Let yourself grieve the good things about the job. No matter how bad the overall situation is, there is always something good, someone you hate to leave. If nothing else, you went into this job with hopes, dreams, of what it was going to be, and you have lost those, and you need to grieve that, too.

Now: you are not a failure!!!! Tell yourself that, over and over. You did your best, they didn't work with you. It's not you.

Next: be very, very thankful that insurance and money are not an issue for you.

Finally: Since money and insurance are not an issue, take your time. You will want to find something quickly. Don't give in to the temptation. Look around, and listen very closely to your gut. Consider doing per diem or part-time before you jump into another full-time position, since you have that option, money-wise. If you find a place you like, and they have a part-time option, take it. Try them out for a while. See if it really is as good as it sounds. If your brain and your gut are in opposition, once again, listen to your gut. (And if you gut and your hubby agree, then for sure, listen!!!)

Good luck to you. Take a little time, do some fun things for yourself, get yourself built back up before you jump right in again. Reconnect with family, have lunch with a girlfriend or two, have a spa day, do whatever you need to nurture yourself. Your residents were lucky to have you; the next group will be, too!

metfan · May 31, 2008

santhony44

Your post touched me deeply. Of course, you are right. Your post made me think of all the positives. Next time, I will know exactly what questions to ask of my perspective employer. Last time, I just wanted a job and was more worried about making a good impression. It is strange to say, but I am greiving. I didn't think it was possible to grieve a job but that is exactly what I am doing. Things happen for a reason. Thank you for your understanding. Metfan

SoundofMusic · May 31, 2008

This is just so silly -- hearing how nursing takes on new grads who are honest, reliable, intelligent people, yet it spits them out like they are worthless -- only to keep hiring on and hiring on -- what are they looking for? Robots? Perfect people? It isn't going to happen. Nursing managers really need to take a good look at what they're doing to "fail" employees like this.

It just really grinds my gears. Sorry it happened to you -- and I agree that you should not rush into anything soon. Try to shadow for at least a week at a place before you sign on. One day isn't enough.

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · May 31, 2008

I am feeling very upset with myself. I started my first job in LTC October. I love my job and my residents. Geriatrics is where I belong. However, without getting to much into it, administration is not treating me fairly. I tried going up the chain of command ladder to no avail. I gave my notice the other day. I am very sad because I love my job itself. This is my first "real" job in over 20 years and I feel like a failure because I could not make it work. The turnover rate at this facility is extremely high but they don't do anything about it. My gut (and my husband) is telling me to move on. When I put my notice in, they just said ok. I thought they would at least ask me why. I am a good worker. Always on time, work extra shifts when needed, my residents love me. Keep in mind, I am a sensitive person. I am working on this fault of mine. They offered me per diem, but, again, my gut is telling me to move on. Fortunately, I don't need the insurance ( I get it from my husband) and money is not a problem right now. I hope I find something else quickly. I love working in geriatrics. When I think of leaving my residents, I cry. I don't really need advice, I guess I was wondering if anyone else has gone through this. Is it common to go through a few jobs to find the right nitch. Thanks for listening.
Metfan

Extremely common, I'm afraid.

I'm in a somewhat similar situation, although I've been a nurse for a long time and am now a nurse manager who just put in my notice at the facility I've loved for two and a half years. I SO feel your pain, Metfan. Making the decision to leave this position is one of the hardest I've ever had to make in my career. But when you're standing there in the middle of an LTC, metaphorically SCREAMING to get someone's attention for the problems there and no one even looks up........well, there is nothing to do BUT quit.

Now I'm going to give you the same advice I'm trying to give myself: Don't look for a 'forever' job at this point. You can't judge the next job very objectively when you're still smarting from this one. You're very fortunate in that you don't have to worry about money and health insurance (I'm the major breadwinner in our family, so I have no choice but to work), but I understand every emotion you are feeling. We ask ourselves what we could have done to change the outcome, even when we know in our hearts that we gave our all to the job and couldn't possibly have done any more. What's more, we tend to feel it's all our fault, when in reality it is the corporate mentality of treating residents as nothing more than commodities---and the utter lack of respect for anything that isn't long and green---that are to blame for much of the ills in LTC.

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but I'm at a loss myself, so please just listen to your heart and to the words of others who have 'been there, done that' and take time to thoroughly research your next position. And know that someday, somehow, things WILL change.........they have to, because 76 million Baby Boomers and their children and grandchildren will demand it. You can bet on that.

In the meantime, take care of yourself, and keep us posted.

(((((((((METFAN)))))))))

candyisdandy · Jun 4, 2008

Many LTC facilites are like this. They like to give their nurses a hard time, especially if you are new. Stand up for yourself and let management know they can't just walk all over you. My facility tried to fire me over O2 tank. Try not to take things personally, it is a business after all. Even though they deal with patients, money is their top priority. I'm not leaving my job though. No matter how they stress me out, I go in to work with a smiling face and take care of my patients. They always ask me "Why are you sooo happy?" Cause I ignore negativity.

iToniai · Jun 5, 2008

Please don't feel like a failure because your first job didn't workout. Sometime things just don't workout and all you have to do is dust yourself off and try again. I'm a new nurse myself, I started working the week after I passed NCLEX. Needless to say, I lasted a total of 2 months at my first job. The funny part is I have no regrets, even though I liked the floor I was on I didn't feel as if the training prepared me to take care of that type of patient population, so it was either I stayed and be petrified everyday I stepped foot on the floor (and possibly loosing my license) or walk away. I decided to walk away and I had no problem finding another job