What is wrong with these people?

[JB2007]

I recently took a part time job at a local hospital and cut down to part time at the LTC facility that I have been working at for the past 3 years. I have been very happy with both jobs until a couple of days ago. The change has done me wonders. Then a couple of days ago I had to work at the LTC facility and it was completly nuts.

They have been firing all of upper management. They have been doing things to get all of middle management in an uproar. Basically upsetting floor nurses that have been there for years and years to the point where they are being more hateful than usual and turning on everyone. One particularly nasty piece of work decided to turn her meanness on me today. She started to make comments about my home life (small community enough said) and I turned around and quietly asked what she just said and she walks quickly away. I was so mad that I think my head is about to explode and I take one step to go ask what she was saying about me and my family (she went into non patient care area) when another nurse puts her hand on my arm and tells me to leave it be because so and so is just being a b**** today. Needless to say I left it go (hello doormat), but I am still mad. You have a problem with me or my work you come to me and talk it out, but do not drag my family into that mess.

I just do not know what to do about all of this. The things going on at the LTC facility is making so that I do not want to go to work. I really do not want to work with this other nurse because I know that she is going to continue to say the hurtful things and I can not confront her because it will get ugly I just know it. I have to go into work the rest of this week and the thought just makes me sick. I just want to move out of this small town and quit the LTC facility. Why do people need to be so stupid and mean? I just wish that I could tell her off like I would like to, but then I would be acting like I was in high school too. Grrr...I wish I could quit this job!!!

[rn/writer, RN]

The 1st one sounds not only effective, but hysterically funny! But what do you mean by "if she's got any potential whatsoever?"

I mean asking her about her health with a concerned demeanor could cut through the glop and catch her off guard if there's a real person in there somewhere. If she's just a steamroller, best to get out of her way, but now and then a curve ball connects because they don't see it coming.

[JacknSweetpea]

Hmmm...I can certainly understand the "small-town stuff" since I live in one as well. However, were you friends with this nasty nurse before? If not, why does she know anything about your home life? I'm very leery of sharing personal info at work because of the whole "small town" effect. There's a lot of gossip that goes around and I've seen nurses walked out of the facility because they "angered" their friend in management.....not even about a job issue. I'm pretty secretive. When I told a few people that I enjoy working with that I was getting married.....they were surprised because no one even knew I was even dating anyone!! Be careful, and dust of that resume!!! Sending good luck your way!! *wine

[Zookeeper3]

you've gotten great advice so far. The problem is the 'small town'. Everything is shared and those that don't understand that, simply can't.

So you either stand your ground with the excellent advice you've been offered or drive and move out. But be warned, this nurse behavior exists everywhere. It strongly behooves you to learn how to deal with this type of antagonism and learn to meet it head on early in you career, because you can't always run if stuck where you are.

We all, and I promise you we all encounter this type of crap in one way or another against us, stopping it and learning how to deal with it by buying books, reading and learning ways gives us the skills to addresses it head on, stop it and really work on changing the culture.

Sure, it's not up to you, you just simply can move, but you'll reach a point were you can't run any longer. And it's best to face it head on, as difficult as it is now, imagine 10 years if learned running with no skill set to fight and stay. you'll hit that point soon enough and be so set on the practice of running you'll be lost.

So buy some books that you'll think will help, read them up and down and do practice runs of situations of good friends that will give you feedback as to how to improve. Only you will choose when to inact these new skills, you'll do much of it wrong, try again and again and get astute until it's second nature.

These skills are not nursing specific but are held true to just about all forms of business and dealing with difficult people. It's just harder for us as nurses, because we need these folks to have trust in them to have our backs and you need to teach them how to do that, because you'll have THEIRS when they prove themselves to you. When they realize how it works, and you'll have to teach them, and it syncs up.. it's a beautiful group of people whom have each others backs.

At some point, you will have to stop running and take a stand, just food for thought.

[HappyBunnyNurse]

I too live in a very small town (though I work in a large town---long drive --sigh). However I did at one point work in the small town (teacher then--- before nursing school---- EVERYONE talks about you if you are a teacher). One of my colleagues made this statement about someone who had treated her badly at work and was making disparaging statements about her in the community. "Here I'm a professional, but eventually everyone has to go to the Walmart." Meaning that she was gonna get hers if she ran into my friend at the Walmart or the one grocery store. I'm not suggesting. you give her the beat down at the Piggly Wiggly........ just food for thought........