What if i suck?

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Specializes in Oncology.

I am working on my last nursing class, right now, and graduate in December. I currently tech on a med/surg floor and have done so for over 2 years. I hope to transition directly into being a nurse on that floor when the time comes.

I have passed all my classes with flying colors, graduating at the top of my class, I was always well liked by my clinical instructors and nurse preceptors, and am in good standing as a "senior" (if you can believe it at 2 years) tech on my floor.

But every time I think about working as a nurse I am riddled with thoughts about how much I am going to just stink at being a nurse. I have no real reason to believe this to be true, but I can't get it out of my head. "CJ you are going to be a crappy nurse. You don't know how to do anything." I feel like I don't have any of my skills down, I don't know anything about meds, etc. My brain tells me that is just not true, I have been very successful, but I am just sinking with self doubt.

I don't know what want to hear, with this post... maybe about how you have been there, feeling like I do. Maybe that it gets better. Maybe tell me that I clearly have a solid footing, since I have been so successful. I don't know. Sigh. I have always been this way... its just annoying. Someday I want to feel confident and competent in anything I do.

Signed,

Mediocre and tired of it.

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Specializes in MICU - CCRN, IR, Vascular Surgery.

It IS normal to feel like that! I was crippled with self doubt for the first 6 or so months, crying all of the time and doubting everything. Now I've been a nurse for a little over two years, and while I'm far from being an expert, if you could take brand new nurse me, and show her where I am now, she'd never believe it. You're not supposed to know everything at the beginning, you're supposed to be asking a lot of questions. The fact that you are worried about this is a good thing, because it shows you aren't over confident. The new nurses that don't ask questions are the scary ones!

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Specializes in Oncology.

Thank you for your reply Lennonninja. It makes me feel better to know i am not alone.

In reading my post from last night, I realize it just looks like I am fishing for compliments, and I promise, that was not my intention...

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Specializes in PACU, pre/postoperative, ortho.

You'll be fine. I was the same way. I did very well in NS and rarely put in the type of study time that other students did. Clinical always made me feel incredibly inadequate though. As graduation neared, the thought would run through my head that when presented with a situation as an employed RN, I would no longer be given options A, B, C, D to choose the "best" answer from but would need to draw from my own knowledge and act on it. But it's really not that bad and you should have other staff and resources to go to for help. It all just takes time to get in the nursing groove.

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Specializes in Home Health (PDN), Camp Nursing.

Of course you are going to suck... Its not reasonable to think that you are going to walk out of school and hit the floor with allthe speed and grace of a vet. Your going to be slow, full of doubt, and not know basics. Your going to miss something important and most likelly make a med error. This is all part of learning how to nurse. School teaches you basics, expearence teaches you how to be a good nurse. Expearence is the toughest teacher because she gives the test first and then the lesson. Learn well, be hard on yourself, but never forget that your first year is tough because your learning more in that year then in all of your schooling.

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Specializes in Oncology.

Big al--- I needed to hear that, thank you. Telling me that I will, without a doubt, suck, is the perfect thing to say. lol... (No snark, I mean it... telling me that sucking is kind of expected is amazing... lol) I never thought of it that way. Thank you for the perspective.

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Specializes in ICU.

I just started my first RN job on a medical intermediate/respiratory floor. I'm in the same boat you are - I graduated at the top of my class, well-liked by my instructors in general, and had the same self-doubts. You will have some moments that make you feel like you suck at what you're doing. I've had my share of them so far, and since I'm less than 18 hours away from my first shift off orientation, I have no doubt that I'm about to face many more of those moments. It comes with being a new nurse.

That said, you will also have moments that prove that you *do* know something about what you're doing. I'm learning very quickly that it's all about experience. And I don't have very much of it right now. That's something that only comes with time. And by time, I mean months and years. I've been doing this job for seven weeks now, and I have no delusions that I know everything, or even most things, about the job I'm in.

I think most new grads feel the way you're feeling right now, and the ones who don't, scare me just a little bit. There's a difference between self-confidence and outright conceit.

Good luck, and remember that you're going to suck at some things, but definitely not everything, and things will get better with time. They don't call it "nursing practice" for nothing! :)

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