What are some of the most ridiculous things patients have asked of you?

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what are some of the most ridiculous or outrageous things patients have asked of you? i am nurse one of two nurses with 4 patients the other night in delivery. place was hopping. i answered the light of one of the other nurses patients, who was a very immature primip (married), whom we were certain, at some point, due to her clinical picture, was going to be a c/s. she wanted to make certain i knew how to detach her from the monitor and help her to the bathroom. no problem. however, not two minutes after i had left the room, she rang again and began yelling. her nurse was busy (did i mention we had 3 other patients in active labor?) so i went in, expecting some sort of major problem. she asked me to scratch her ass...in those words, exactly...i was taken aback and she had to have noticed my facial expression as she quickly countered that she couldn't reach and her husband, who was wide awake next to her, didn't want to do it....i am ashamed to say that i did put on some gloves and not too willingly scratched it, but when she insisted we start wiping her after trips to the bathroom, i just had to ask how she had managed to reach herself all the months leading up to her current admission. she was also ruptured so there was no way....she was a real trip....i have also had patients ask that we pop zits and in my cardiac unit days, some of the requests from patients are just too risque to repeat, but never had i had such wacky requests on a regular basis, until i transferred to ob...how about all of you?

Specializes in cardiac, diabetes, OB/GYN.

I just had a patient ( or actually, some lady) call and ask us if she was pregnant. We ask the appropriate questions and she asks if there is a way to tell who is the father. We keep giving info and asking questions and SHE hangs up because WE are too nosy...Hello! SHE called US!

when I was a nursing assistant, I was helping a patient who had a stroke wash up. We got to his peri area. He told me he wanted me to scrub him down there like he was at the car wash. I turned bright red and told him I did not need to wash his peri area because he could use his unaffected arm to wash himself. He told me it was my job to wash it. Well I did not, I just gave him the washcloth closed the curtain to give him privacy and I would be back in a few minutes. I went back in finished dressing him and nothing more was said.

Specializes in cardiac, diabetes, OB/GYN.

Man, they will try to get some any way they can, won't they ( sorry guys). New grad and I have a forties something cardiac patient. I am in the bathroom putting water in his basin and getting ready to bring it out to him so he can wash up. I don't see him walk in behind me, close the door and rudely but crudely suggest I service him since "it was my duty as his nurse to make sure everything worked before he went home." Somehow I summoned my demeanor and calmly ( though I did NOT feel calm) mentioned that I was a black belt in karate and could aim something to be CERTAIN nothing worked when he got home...He laughed and opened the door...I, white as a sheet, informed my head nurse ( in those days they were not nurse managers) I could not continue having him for an assignment....She made me go back in there and figure out a way to confront this guy and make him understand the wrong route he took. These days the whole sexual harrassment issue would have come into play, but then, I had to do what the boss said, and come to find out, the pt apologized profusely, started to cry and then commenced telling me about his fears over his life and his future...You never know.....

I have had a pt buzz me and ask me to help clean out her hand bag, as she may as well seeing as how she has all this time on her hands !!!!! I do not know what they think we do all day!!!!

At least over here when pts get demanding I can tell them " This is the best healthcare you will get in the world for FREE !!"

I was working in birthing suites in a busy maternity unit. Woman came in in labour, with husband. This guy was a nightmare. He sits in the corner of the room as far away from his wife as he can get in the recliner and starts to complain about the pain in his back. He expects me to listen and when I don't because I am paying attention to his wife, he says "What sort of nurse are you anyway?" I looked at him and said your wife is in labour here sir, she is my first priority. He mumbled away about his pain for a while. I left the room and came back in a while and his wife asked for pain meds. I thought she was coping quite well and went through the usual spiel and eventually asked what sort of meds she would like and explained oral or IM. She said IM Pethidine. I went and got it came back and she asked if we could just leave it here so she could give it herself. Only then I twigged that the meds were for hubby! Then as labout went on this guy was becoming more and more agitated. He was becoming abusive to his wife telling her to hurry up and so forth. Eventually I had to tell him to settle down and be quiet or we would have to ask him to leave. He then asked if we could do a caesar or something. I explained that we would not be doing this. He then asked if we could bring a television into the room as an important football game was on! The answer of course was no. The woman eventually gave birth to a beautiful little baby girl. Literally the moment that baby was born (placenta not in view yet) he asked where the nearest bar was and did it have a TV and shot out of the hospital to go see the second half of his precious football game. This was their first baby too!!

Lovely man!

I bet he was a great help with those 2am feedings.

Feel sorry for that gal when she got home. Can you say BYE BYE FELLOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how about those pts. s/p CABG..that after hours of cardiac rehab, diet changes, and smoking cessation education, they ask you for a cigarette, and to light it for them on their way out the door. nothing irks me more.

one day, when i worked CCU, i was pulling a sheath on one of my pts. as i sent the family out of the room they asked where they could get some food. i told them. they come back in after the sheath pull, where they have cheeseburgers, potato chips, and chicken wings, and proceed to eat it in front of their poor mother, who is laying flat on her back, hasn't eaten in 24 hours, and just had a cardiac procedure done. then, just like another poster, they asked me to order them some pizza! ughhh...the nerve.

i once had a wealthy pt, who wanted EVERYTHING done for him. one morning i delivered his breakfast. he throws the jelly down and says "open this", he scoots his milk carton to the end of the table and says "open this", then he goes "feed me". now, i wouldn't have minded doing this on a pt who couldn't do any of this...but he was up walking around and young. i said "absolutely not...i know you can do this yourself" and he has the nerve to say "but you are the nurse...and you are supposed to do these things". that didn't get him anywhere, and i made him do everything himself for the rest of the day.

becky

I am a student. At the beginning of my spring quarter last year, I had a patient who was in for a GI surgical procedure (can't exactly remember for what). He was fairly young, 50-ish or so, and catheterized. I had to perform pm cares on him. As I prepared everything to perform these cares, he throws back his blanket and asked me how I was going to handle his little pecker. His wife was in there and started in with the dirty talk of peckers and wieners. I was mortified. My ears started to turn red and I described why I was washing his member (to prevent infection while catheterized). All I kept thinking while I was doing this was "firm touch, not soft...." That is what our lab instructor taught us to keep an erection from happening.

Ah, Kim. One thing I try to keep in mind. If they can reach it, they can clean it (within reason of course). I'm not AT ALL shy about handing over a washcloth and stepping away for a minute!

I recently had a very abnoxious, unco-operative patient ask me at the end of very busy, long night shift( 1 arrest, 1 active GI bleed and a very confused little old dear) " what happened to our wake up call, last time I was in hospital we all got offered a cup of tea at six thirty?" Iwas absoloutley speechless!

...and the most disgusting request...a young lady in isolation with a nasty bout of TB, pressed her call bell to ask me to pick up a very snotty tissue that was on the floor! needless to say there was nothing wrong with her arms or legs and the bin was right beside her! I politley suggested that she could do it herself.

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