What to do if you have no help?

betty67 · Feb 25, 2010

I have applied for the 2010 fall program at my local community college. So far I have only taken my prereqs part time because I am a stay at home mom and have two small children (16 months and 5 yrs) I have very little help with my boys. I am married, but my husband works 3rd shift and has a side job during the day. Even on his days off he is not helpful at all! I dont have any other family members that are able to help either, so I'm freaking out thinking how am I going to be able to handle full time nursing classes, if I can barely handle this? How much time do you spend studying every night? and how do you juggle everything with no help? Thanks for your help!!

Hi there! I am in my 1st semester of nursing school, I am a single mom with 3 children ages 2, 8 & 11. I know how you feel being worried about juggling all of it. Let me give you my schedule I am in nursing classes tuesdays thru fridays and a math class for 4 hours on sundays. There is definitely a lot of studying to do. I study when I can and I made myself kind of a schedule. I am not in school on mondays and the children are at school and baby is in daycare on mondays so I study a lot on that day. I know that you are a stay at home mom with no time to yourself from the sounds of it.

You can do it you just have to figure out what works for you. Even though I do a lot of studying on mondays. I still have to study other days. I find that what works really well for me is to study at night when the kids are sleeping. I am not going to lie to you I am up pretty late some nights. I also have my morning routine set so that on the days I go to class I get there early to look over notes or practice skills in the skill lab. You will figure out a way to make it all work. I know that you said your husband is not much help, but trust me when I say what ever help he gives you however little will be a help for you to get some time to study.

You will meet people in school in the same boat as you maybe you will meet another student who has kids too and you can get together for the kids to play while you both study. I am lucky that my oldest is 11 she helps me a lot when I just need an hour to myself I go into another room and she keeps an eye on the 2 yr old for me so that I can study.

If you really want to become a nurse you will do whatever you need to do to make it happen..........Good luck! :nurse:

mammac5 · Feb 25, 2010

Determination is essential...and so is being realistic. It seems you are both, which is good. I've seen people in similar situations as yourself who just closed their eyes and wished that everything was going to turn out okay and they DON'T make it. It's not that they aren't smart enough or determined enough, but they did not take a realistic look at where they were at the time and what they were going to need. Kudos to you for looking ahead!

You will need childcare. You will need a back-up for your childcare for times when/if it falls through for sickness, bad weather, etc. Then, just for good measure, get a back-up for your back-up. Kids get sick, care-givers get sick, etc. Even though money may be tight for something that seems like a "luxury" you will need childcare for class and clinical times, and you must plan time to study. If you can swing it, you might be able to read/study at night after the kids are in bed.

As much as I hate to admit it, even I can't get through nursing school without support and I don't have kids at home anymore!

brittany_micah · Feb 25, 2010

Thank you both for the advice!!

Betty67, I really appreciate you sharing your schedule. I don't really know what to expect how many days/times, but that gives me a good idea. I am almost OCD when it comes to schedules and organizing, so I think you are right once I get into it I can make myself a schedule and stick to it as far as study times! As far as my husband goes, when I said little help I meant none. He is actually worse than the kids as far as not helping around the house or picking up after himself, but I didnt want to sound like I was complaining. My 5 yr old really steps up and helps with his brother, bless his heart. I really admire you for having 3 kids/little-no help and still doing great in school. If you can do it...I can do it! Thank you again for sharing your schedule/story.

Mammac5, I am def determined and really realistic! I know what how hard this is right now and it's going to get worse before it gets better. My 5 year old will be in school this fall and I have already enrolled our baby into daycare. The back up and back up to the back up is a really great idea!! I will go ahead and start looking for people now. Thank you both for the great advice!

allnurses Guide · Feb 25, 2010

Mamma has a very good point. We were told multiple times in orientation and then the first few days of class that parents of small kids need a plan B, C and D for sick kids. I have nothing more to add; my kiddos are old enough to take care of themselves. Good luck to you - many do this successfully and I am sure you will find a way.