What does my future hold?

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Hello all,

I’ll cut to the chase. Please, don’t beat me up. I have been through enough. I had a positive drug test for thc. I know I messed up, I hate myself for it enough. I was extremely tired after working night shift and was questioned. I took the drug test because I thought I would be fine since it was a one time deal about a week prior. I have been fine since. This has been months ago. I do not drink or do any drugs. Never had any issues with medications, never had an error. I’ve been taking drug tests monthly to help with my case.. my attorney suggested it.


I’m worried about disclosing my psych history even though I’ve been going to therapy since before my “incident.” I have a history of a voluntary hospitalization from bad ptsd from an abusive relationship and anxiety since my last license renew. I now have to sign over my mental health records. My work has never been affected by my ptsd or anxiety. If anything, it takes my mind off of it. I have plenty of evidence to show the board that I am a great nurse. Also, I have other healthy coping skills too; exercise, yoga, etc.

 I am afraid that reaching out for help is what will screw me in the end. My attorney was veryoptimistic until I disclosed my mental health information to him. I’m in grad school too and I’m afraid that this will ruin school for me if they decide to do something to my license.

does anyone have any advice? I’m an anxious mess and I did this all to myself.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Women's Health, LTC.

The only advise I have is to stick with your attorney and let him/her handle info and communications with your BON.

Also, seek the treatment you need (if needed) and DO NOT DISCLOSE to them you are a nurse.

Most importantly, take care of yourself, each and every day! Come here for support and know we are here to listen!

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Thank you. Do you know of any nurses who disclosed mental health records? I was just told a “summary” Was all that was needed..

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But if you diagnosed with ptsd you couldve gotten a medical marijuana card that way you wouldve been fine right?

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10 hours ago, KingJames1227 said:

But if you diagnosed with ptsd you couldve gotten a medical marijuana card that way you wouldve been fine right?

Absolutely not. Nurses cannot have them, Atleast where I live because federally it’s not legal.

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Specializes in Nurse, Nutrition, Fitness and Lifestyle Coach.

You can't work under the influence of anything whether you have a prescription for it or not. Alcohol is legal everywhere and if you come up positive for alcohol you are likely to face the same consequences you would for an illegal substance. Same with prescription drugs like Percocet or Norco, you can have a legit reason for taking it but if you are perceived as impaired you will face consequences.

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Specializes in Nurse, Nutrition, Fitness and Lifestyle Coach.

@TravelingRN21 This is tough situation and you need compassion from yourself and others. Stop beating yourself up and start concentrating on what to do next. Losing your license or working on a restricted license is not the end of the world but it will change your world so start making contingency plans. All the legal stuff you’re worried about will depend on your state. Yes you got yourself into this mess but you also got yourself out of an abusive relationship, through your undergraduate degrees, passed the board exam and into graduate school, you can handle this, it's just a bump in the road.

Back in the late 90's I was an alcoholic nurse that started diverting morphine from the ICU I worked in. Four miserable months later I decided I was gonna die, get caught, or kill myself, so I turned myself in. That was over 20 years ago and that still ranks as one of the hardest things I've ever done. However, I wouldn't change it if I had the chance. I have an amazing life today and I love the person I see in the mirror. Come January next year I'll be clean and sober 20 years. It changed my career DRAMATICALLY! I never lost my license but I worked on a restricted one for a while and had to pick and choose what was safe for me when I wasn't restricted any longer. I've helped countless nurses and regular people find their way to sobriety. Most importantly today I know for a fact that whatever I get myself into I can get myself out of, it is ALWAYS my choice. Incidentally I also struggled with mental health disease in addition to addiction. It can be done, it won't be comfortable at times but it can be done.

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On 11/23/2019 at 2:02 PM, CoachLeAnn said:

@TravelingRN21 This is tough situation and you need compassion from yourself and others. Stop beating yourself up and start concentrating on what to do next. Losing your license or working on a restricted license is not the end of the world but it will change your world so start making contingency plans. All the legal stuff you’re worried about will depend on your state. Yes you got yourself into this mess but you also got yourself out of an abusive relationship, through your undergraduate degrees, passed the board exam and into graduate school, you can handle this, it's just a bump in the road.

Back in the late 90's I was an alcoholic nurse that started diverting morphine from the ICU I worked in. Four miserable months later I decided I was gonna die, get caught, or kill myself, so I turned myself in. That was over 20 years ago and that still ranks as one of the hardest things I've ever done. However, I wouldn't change it if I had the chance. I have an amazing life today and I love the person I see in the mirror. Come January next year I'll be clean and sober 20 years. It changed my career DRAMATICALLY! I never lost my license but I worked on a restricted one for a while and had to pick and choose what was safe for me when I wasn't restricted any longer. I've helped countless nurses and regular people find their way to sobriety. Most importantly today I know for a fact that whatever I get myself into I can get myself out of, it is ALWAYS my choice. Incidentally I also struggled with mental health disease in addition to addiction. It can be done, it won't be comfortable at times but it can be done.

Thank you for your kind words, it means a lot to me. Do you happen to know how the Hospitalization could affect me? My lawyer seems to be more concerned with that than anything.

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Specializes in Nurse, Nutrition, Fitness and Lifestyle Coach.

By the HIPPA law the only information about hospitalizations and doctors you see has to come from you UNLESS you committed a crime then it’s an open door. As a case manager in the hospital we write notes for patients and families all the time for their employers. They are extremely generic with the names of the people and dates. I will include more only if the person wants it and always council them that the less info the better they can always ask you for more. Any communication about your hospitalization or doctors visits should follow that principle. If it’s in writing you can’t take it back or defend!! They can ask you for more information. About the incident itself. Even the most punitive states want to hear you are remorseful, you take responsibility and will accept the consequences. Drug screens are good. Everyone says it only happened once so don’t say that even if it’s the truth. Be honest and don’t give excuses for your behavior. We always encouraged nurses to take people with them to board/court hearings that could vouch for good behavior. It doesn’t sound like you’re in or feel like you need recovery but if the board has evidence you might, you may want to look into attending some open meetings and get a paper signed you went. Boards do this for mental health as well as recovery. Mental illness is treated much the same way as impairment and you are protected by the HIPPA law. Let me know if you any other questions.

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Is your attorney concerned about your mental health related admissions because you didn't report them to the board of nursing when you applied for licensure?

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21 minutes ago, Uncle-JoJo said:

Is your attorney concerned about your mental health related admissions because you didn't report them to the board of nursing when you applied for licensure?

No, my hospitalization was recent.

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9 hours ago, CoachLeAnn said:

By the HIPPA law the only information about hospitalizations and doctors you see has to come from you UNLESS you committed a crime then it’s an open door. As a case manager in the hospital we write notes for patients and families all the time for their employers. They are extremely generic with the names of the people and dates. I will include more only if the person wants it and always council them that the less info the better they can always ask you for more. Any communication about your hospitalization or doctors visits should follow that principle. If it’s in writing you can’t take it back or defend!! They can ask you for more information. About the incident itself. Even the most punitive states want to hear you are remorseful, you take responsibility and will accept the consequences. Drug screens are good. Everyone says it only happened once so don’t say that even if it’s the truth. Be honest and don’t give excuses for your behavior. We always encouraged nurses to take people with them to board/court hearings that could vouch for good behavior. It doesn’t sound like you’re in or feel like you need recovery but if the board has evidence you might, you may want to look into attending some open meetings and get a paper signed you went. Boards do this for mental health as well as recovery. Mental illness is treated much the same way as impairment and you are protected by the HIPPA law. Let me know if you any other questions.

I immediately went for an evaluation when this all started. I was told by rehab that I didn’t have an issue and they signed me off. I have been seeing a therapist for nearly a year at this point. Also, I’m taking a month of work to get myself straight. I think all of this would look good to the board and show them that I am on track. I simply had a bad breakdown.

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