What to do when a family member refuses vaccines even when someone close is high risk?

[BeatsPerMinute, BSN, RN]

This is a situation that began a bit ago but is one that I am still trying to process through... not sure what to think of it. 

My Dad has cancer (pancreatic - got his whipple last year & doing as OK as can be expected). My mom refuses to get the vaccine, even though her husband (aka... my dad with cancer) is in a vulnerable position.

My 3 younger siblings and I myself are all vaccinated. My mom has no interest. She has no medical reason to not get the vaccine. She is focused more on what looks like conspiracy theories. I think this is absolutely selfish. 

Meanwhile, I am working on the COVID designated ICU. Now currently COVID is not as bad as it was before... I understand that it may not be over entirely yet, however, we're not yet sure.

I WISH my mom could witness the COVID patients - while those patients were intubated, coded, ... UGH... there is no forgetting that first ever sight of this multi-shaded brown thick sputum that would come out of these patients lungs . And the SMELL. It is a very very distinct smell...

 I think I also don't appreciate the "brush off" vibe I get sometimes... considering I'm the one on these so called "front lines" while everyone else goes on their merry way. 

Anyone else experienced feelings like these? Frustrations? If so, how do you deal with them? 

[T-Bird78]

Some people just won’t listen. My aunt, uncle, and cousin were very anti-mask and even turned around and drove home after driving 2 hours to go somewhere and found out masks were required to enter. The place had some available for $2.00, and the two dollars was donated to a local animal shelter. They’d carry a mask in their pocket to “have” one but never wore it. Well, they all got COVID in December 2020 and my uncle died a week later, just two days after Christmas. My aunt and cousin attended his funeral maskless. 

[hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I]

Short of ostracizing the individual which would cut you off from your dad in what might be his final years there is nothing you can do. How does your dad feel about it? What is your mom's reasoning? Have you tried to have a rational nonjudgmental discussion about it? Has she always been a bit if a conspiracy nut? If not she may be in denial about her fears for her husband and channeling them towards something she feels she can fight. If she won't get vaccinated or wear a mask and your dad is not prepared to leave her then you can only allow them to live by their terms and be as supportive of your dad as possible. No one wants to be sick in a war zone. Are her actions right? Of course not. Please don't cut yourself off from your dad when he needs family most.

Hppy