What to do?? A whole BOX of crazy!!!

[prettywishes]

Hey there! I'm reaching out to my fellow nurses for some much needed advise, and appreciate any and all responses. Sorry for the long post, there's a whole box of crazy about to open!!

I've been with my current employer for a little over a year as a "direct support staff worker". My boss is very intimidating and since it's basically private duty, I feel like I have nobody I can report to over my boss's head. When I first found this job, I was very thankful. It paid better than the office jobs I held and my boss seemed happy to work around my nursing school schedule. Even though I was sexually harassed by my client at times, I took it in stride and justified it by reminding myself of their developmental issues. I work with a non-verbal teen male with severe Downs Syndrome. There were many times I thought about leaving and discussed it with loved ones, but stayed because I didn't want to put financial strain on my spouse (times have changed and my spouse has now found a different job that pays almost 3X more than when I began).

I've made note of the following things below:

-Before I started my last semester of my LPN year (this past summer), my boss told me if I couldn't be available for the hours I wasn't hired for (mon-thurs) then she would need to "rethink my position there". My boss was intimidating the hell out of me, and her eyes got beady and small and at that moment I knew what it was like to see crazy in someone's eyes. I stood up for myself and told her I was not hired for those days unless it was school break and she went as far as to pull up my buried application only to confirm what we already knew. She was trying to intimidate me and this one time it didn't work, but opened up a new perspective for me and showed me her crazy. Also this made me realize that she can't keep workers..hmm..wonder why.

-She keeps all employees at the same rate; new and old employees..all three of us.

-I was advised I'd be getting a raise to $16.25. However, when she had me sign my rate forms, she stated "I wanted to keep it an even number" while pointing her finger at $16. I received a whopping 8 cent raise after a year of being there. My year anniversary wasn't even acknowledged.

-Last year about two weeks before Christmas, I was told that "the company" would no longer be giving out bonuses; even though my hiring paperwork said there was $600 allocated to bonuses for employees each year. I was the only employee working there at the time and relied on this for my family. Many people who know this story believe she has funneled the money to herself, as she is the client's "support broker" and also the client's mother.

-I was told that when I pass the NCLEX-RN I would have a position offered to me of delegating nurse and be bumped to $50/hr plus mileage. I've seen the invoices for their delegating nurses, and they make less than that..a lot less..about $29/hr less.

-My boss moves my hours from one pay period to the next if I go over 40 hours (usually during school breaks) so she doesn't have to pay overtime.

and this is what really brought me to make this post...

-My boss refuses to change my position to LPN, or nurse (and maybe even bump my pay), yet expects me to provide medications and possibly injections to the client. It is not within my job duties as a support worker to provide any medications, and I feel pushed into it. I feel like my boss manipulates me quite frequently, and have gotten the feeling lately from her that she feels a bit entitled in every aspect of her life.

The way my mom explained it to me would be if a nurse went to school to be a teacher, and all of a sudden they wanted her to be the school nurse..even though she's now just the teacher.

It's been over a year now working for her and her son, and I've been fortunate to sit for my boards and pass the NCLEX-LPN exam. While my classmates are all getting 'real' nursing jobs, I feel slighted because I'm terrified that this woman will cause troubles for me if she knows I want to leave.

Even more, I'm afraid that if I take on a new job as an LPN at a new company that I may not be able to give it my full dedication because I have two more semesters until I get my ADN-RN. Many of my classmates told me that you have to orient on day shift (even though I'd be seeking fri-sat-sun only, or 11-7 weeknights) and I don't want to miss school. My earliest class is at 3p. I have been applying in hopes that I can find somewhere that will just work with me, but I'm so nervous. I feel robbed at this point, financially and from something worth even more than money- experience.

I look forward to responses, and once again thank you for reading!

[Chrispy11, ASN, RN]

Hi! Yes, this is an actual position. She handles the budgets/hiring/firing/training/ect for families on a self-directed waiver for disabled individuals through state funding.

If she is state funded, she needs to follow state employment laws or else risk losing her funding. Document everything. If she does something, email yourself so you have a date and time stamp of what happened when. This is better than keeping a written diary due to actual time and date stamps. However, having worked for a small family owned business and a large corporation, I'd take the larger anytime since you are not going to have to deal with them making up things as they go along. It's been my experience that everything is in writing. Do you have anything in writing from her regarding the raise? If you did it would definitely be to your benefit as proof.

[Medic/Nurse, BSN, RN]

Geez. I would keep meticulous records of time.

And if your state is a single-party consent state (meaning only one person has to know) in regards to audio recodings, I'd be setting up audio recodings of my days with her - just set a recorder to recorder to record all day. Period. It stops the "no, I'd never say THAT."

I'm sad to say I've had to do this for cause, I use an old iPhone on airplane mode (to conserve battery) close other apps, turn brightness down, use the Voice Memo app and let it roll. You can airdrop to other devices and download to desktop IMac. It's date stamped and after I duplicate I can send relevant clips, supportive of the complaint, to the proper authorities or regulatory Boards, agencies.

I HOPE YOU DONT THINK I'M A MONSTER. Desperate times, call for exceptional solutions. Plus, power imbalance gets solved by absolute proof.

The other thing I'd do is ensure she writes me LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION. I'd tell her it was for clinical placement -- a To whom it may concern -- that details how clinically gifted and competent you are. That you are reliable and have been a joy to work with or WHATEVER.

GET IT IN WRITING.

Then once you HAVE YOUR DUCKS ROWED --

You can DECIDE, if you want to STAY or GO.

You have a legit hours pay claim and let the other chips fall where they may.

Good luck.

I've been in a difficult situation before and I assure making a good decision for myself to just MOVE ON felt so good. I felt free and powerful - sometimes, you just can't do the impossible for the ungrateful. And personality disorders in managers are REAL. I just got tired of trying to walk on eggshells when I wasn't at 1500AGL.

:angel:

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

Actually, that might give you some leverage, since she's receiving State money. She can either give you a decent reference, or you can offer to have her sit down with you, the State and the IRS....

Seriously though, most states have laws regarding what she's doing and as far as a reference goes, for risk management purposes, most employers only need to verify employment, dates and wage. It really shouldn't be a problem. If she is compelled to intimidate you with her body language that you mentioned, (eyes narrowing etc.), she is weaker than you think.

Be respectful, but direct. And don't back down.

And don't turn your back to her. Look her right in the eye, calmly but beadily, just like she did you.

I am glad you are taking steps to improve your situation.

I would still make her pay you for any and all hours you have worked, regular hours and overtime. Don't let her intimidate you. As others have said, you have to learn to stand up for yourself because no one else can or will. Make her follow the law.

It is probably not illegal to secretly record your conversations with her. Check it out with a couple of attorneys in your own state.

Maybe you could even secretly take a video while you talk to her. She sounds like a psycho or is very good at scaring people.

Best wishes to you.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

I agree 100%! I started my job when I began NUR101 and thought it would be great because it was sort of like a CNA position. I felt the wage was decent compared to the $10-12/hr CNAs usually make in my area. Now she's requesting me to do nursing duties (med admin- po & injections) but hasn't discussed with me raising my rate or changing my title so it would be within my scope of practice.

I'm going to take the advice I received and not back down. I plan on giving her a month notice because it's hard for her to find help and I understand she's moving in November, even if she doesn't deserve it. It's time for me to move on. Thank you all for helping me get the courage up to finally make this decision concrete in my mind, I typed up my resignation letter and plan on handing it in this Sunday (it's my Friday, to give her a week to stew about it before I see her again). I'm nervous how she's going to react but I can't be afraid forever.

Don't violate your scope of practice. She could use that against you.