5 Weird Questions Patients Have Asked As An OB Nurse

[JanineKelbach]

Nurses are teachers. We are always answering questions for our patients, no matter how strange they are. We do it in a professional manner, and never make the patient feel stupid. That being said, there are questions we receive in our daily work that make us wonder, "how is this person getting through life?" Or, in my labor and delivery case, "How is she going to be a mother, if she doesn't know X."

See which you relate to, which make you laugh, and feel free to comment and add to the growing list.

"Which hole do I pee out of?"

This is an unfortunately way too common question I get from patients. I work in labor and delivery, so it is an all-female population. I cannot believe how many women do not know their own bodies. I have had women in tears because they don't understand why they are bleeding lady partslly and not when they void. They think that if they go to the bathroom and void that they are also pushing their babies out.

Overall, a very confusing question I get and every time I stop myself from trying to give a look of "really?"

I'm sorry, did I wake you? (on nights)

I worked night shift for over ten years. I hated every moment. I didn't hate my coworkers, or the job, just the feeling my body had working twelve hour nights. I did night shift pregnant, nursing, and raising two boys. I was lucky, like many mothers on nights, to get 4 hours of sleep between shifts.

Anyway, there were many nights that patients would apologize for putting their call lights on to ask for something because they thought they were waking me. I'm pretty sure that's grounds for firing, but thanks patient for thinking I sleep all night.

When they call me doctor

OK, this isn't a question, it's just something that makes me roll my eyes. It is usually a comment from the most undereducated patient or patient's relative. They do not understand the difference between nurses and doctors, nor do they understand the educational difference between the two.

"Honey, just ask the doctor your question." ? I usually look behind me thinking the doctor is in the room.

My answer: "I am not the doctor, X is your doctor, remember seeing him/her throughout the pregnancy? They are the doctor." I end up correcting them several times during my shift, and usually end up giving it up after the third time or so.

How big is the needle in my arm?

I get this question at least once a week. Patients think that the IV needle stays inside their arm.

My answer: "Well, the IV needle does not stay in you, it is a thin, flexible catheter that will deliver the fluids and medicine to you."

It boggles my mind that a patient really thinks a needle stays in their skin the entire time. I remember thinking that when I was very young...but never as an adult, and definitely not as a laboring mother.

So will you be the one delivering the baby?

This is a weird question for me because ideally, they have been to the OBGYN over 20 times during the pregnancy. Now, they meet me for 5 minutes and think I will be delivering their child. This also goes back to them calling me a doctor. I'm not a doctor, and I wouldn't want to be a doctor, and no I don't deliver babies, I will do everything to get the patient to that point, but not actually do the delivery.

My Answer: "You don't want me delivering your baby. I didn't go to school for that, specifically. I went to school to help you get through labor and the delivery. The doctor will deliver the baby Now, if for some reason you progressed quickly, I know how to deliver a baby, but ideally, I would rather not."

There you have it. Five of the weirdest questions I get from patients in labor and delivery. I am sure I could add and add to this list, as could you, so please do.

What are some weird questions your patients have asked you? How did you react?

[SmilingBluEyes]

And a great granny (the cutest most elderly lady I ever had in a delivery room) who asked if you hear a baby talking from the womb if that meant the baby was smart. True story.

PS: OP, great article. I saw the humor and it was not mean at all. We all see and hear things in nursing that are not to be believed at times.

[SmilingBluEyes]

WanderingWilder said:

I was one who didn't know that an IV didn't include keeping the needle in, I always wondered how someone could move their arm with the needle going through the vein hehe but don't worry I'm not offended.

Your comment about woman asking you if you were delivering her baby reminded me of when I was having my son, we weren't sure the midwife was going to make it to the hospital in time. So they called up an emergency room doctor to deliver him. I saw this young doctor standing in the hallway looking way too confused and I asked the nurse if she could deliver him instead. The midwife made it, but the nurse probably thought I was crazy. ?

I would call the ER doc up when the OB was not going to make it, but knew I would be delivering the baby myself. They would just step back and make sure no major complications came up. They wanted nothing to do with "birthin' babies".

[rnay312]

I'm a NICU nurse and attend deliveries frequently. I hear the circumcision and weight question occasionally, but my favorite is a father's response to his newborn's molded cone head: "Is it going to stay that way?"

I know they're saying it out of genuine concern and a huge adrenaline rush, but there would be a lot of funny looking adults if cone heads stayed cone heads forever.