Want opinions from the nurses who have a mental health condition

[wish_me_luck, BSN, RN]

I thought I would share (and get opinions on) another thought that was on my mind. This is something that I think about on and off. But, from a personal perspective, nurses with a mental health condition--do you like the "hands off" approach when you are upset and crying, meaning, do you like the fact that it is encouraged to not hug or touch a person (with a mental health condition) when they are upset (or even when they are not upset)?

Here's my personal take on it: I understand why that is done and would comply if I ever worked on a unit (especially psych). However, for me personally, when I am upset and crying my eyes out (I do have spells where I cry and cry and cry. Just sob...), I would prefer to be be hugged and held close or someone holding my hand and no one say anything; just let me cry. One of the most comforting things that someone did for me was a day that I was at school (during college), I just had my driver's license suspended because a physician turned me in to the DMV for seizures (now a history of seizures), and I was crying my eyes out sitting in the hallway. A lady I knew walked up to me and bent down and put her hand on my leg and sat there, said nothing, and let me finish crying.

One of the least comforting things someone has done when I was upset was actually from my mom--I was sobbing one night (one of those nights that everything builds up and you have one heck of a cry and feel better) and my mom comes in the room, does not even touch me/hug me/nothing, and starts screaming "what's wrong?! why are you crying?!". That made me even more upset.

I think about those two events and how peoples' reactions were so different and then, I think about infants when they cry...we pick them up and hold them and rub their back until they stop crying. We don't leave them lying there alone or scream at them.

Anyway, what do want people to do when you are upset; I am really curious about the people with mental health conditions--do you like the "hands off" approach (as I call it) or do you like the comforting like with physical illnesses and such?

[SoCalGalRN]

I don't have a mental illness but I don't like to be messed with when I cry. I do my best to limit crying in front of others and will only occasionally cry in front of my husband. No one else has seen me cry probably since childhood. I also don't respond to crying in a hands on manner. I tend to give people privacy and hope that helps.

[Tait, MSN, RN]

I have situational anxiety and depression, HSP (Highly Sensitive Personality),which isn't a mental disorder but plays heavily into my interpersonal interactions), and have been on Zoloft during this pregnancy though I am currently weaned off.

Because of my HSP I tend to easily get overstimulated by interactions, especially touching when I am anxious. Sometimes my husband can't even rub my back if I am highly agitated because it literally feels like "burning" on my skin. This being said I have no issues comforting patients with back rubs or hugs.

I myself prefer to be held by my own family. I have received hugs from co-workers and appreciated them thoroughly especially during my first experience with miscarriage which happened on my way to work.

I think patients show whether they want to be hugged or not in the way they position themselves or react non-verbally and I work to respect that. If they want a hug, MI or not, I give them one. If they just want a tissue and a quiet room, I give them that as well.

Thanks for thinking about this :)

Tait

[wish_me_luck, BSN, RN]

Thanks, Tait. I am probably a strange duck and the only one who thinks about that stuff. But, I guess having a mental illness, even though I am a nurse and have been taught this in my psych classes to not touch a patient or anything and had it re-emphasized at NAMI training; I always internally took it as people just ignoring or not caring that I was upset. If I do not want to be bothered or comforted, I hide (I know that is weird). No one really asked me about the hugging/touching thing; it was just always taught you do not touch a person who has a psych illness who is upset. Tait, it is nice that you are attentive to non-verbal cues and offer hugs if wanted.

[Tait, MSN, RN]

Thanks, Tait. I am probably a strange duck and the only one who thinks about that stuff. But, I guess having a mental illness, even though I am a nurse and have been taught this in my psych classes to not touch a patient or anything and had it re-emphasized at NAMI training; I always internally took it as people just ignoring or not caring that I was upset. If I do not want to be bothered or comforted, I hide (I know that is weird). No one really asked me about the hugging/touching thing; it was just always taught you do not touch a person who has a psych illness who is upset. Tait, it is nice that you are attentive to non-verbal cues and offer hugs if wanted.

I think, unless you are working on a psych unit in which I would think they could give you better advice, each case in the hospital is on an individual basis. This also requires some attention to what is mental illness. There have been many posts lately about this subject, including my own article when I went on Zoloft a few months ago. Touching someone with depression is different from touching someone with a schizophrenic disorder I would think. Though in the hospital you get detoxes and dementia which in those cases I might not want to touch them either depending on the day.

Mental illness is variable and each person needs to be taken on an individual basis IMO :)

Tait

[RNMom2010]

I have anxiety/depression and am just a moody *****, and I HATE when people touch me, or try to talk to me when I am in that state of mind. I just close myself away somewhere alone and let it pass.