Very new RN.. hate bedside nursing... thinking about leaving

[brunetteRN06]

Hi everyone...

I feel actually kinda pathetic for writing this but.. I’m one week away from finishing my 12 week orientation on a busy med/tele floor... & one  thing I can take away from it is that I am miserable. I take work home with me everyday. I can definitely say my entire life I have ALWAYS been a laid back, go with the flow person... & I usually always stick it out, even when things get really hard for me. Fast forward to now- I’m having extreme panic attacks. My anxiety is truly through the roof. The hospital setting isn’t new to me, either. I worked as a tech for two years on this same floor & was just fine until I became a nurse. My managers really want me to stay. My coworkers are pretty supportive people. Overall the staff isn’t horrible by ANY means but I feel truly so burned out and I’m not even off orientation yet... looking into clinic nursing at a derm office because I myself have struggled with my skin for years and feel like I would really be passionate about helping those with skin issues... but I have this feeling that I’m selling myself short by not sticking out atleast a year on my current floor. I know I’m very capable but I might seriously lose my sanity...

I am an extremely task oriented person & I feel like office nursing would fit that part of me well. 

If anyone has any advice/ words of wisdom/ etc I would love to hear it. I am just a tired new nurse not knowing where to turn. 

[Nurse Beth, MSN]

First, see your provider for your extreme panic attacks and your through the roof anxiety.

Ask your manager for a couple of weeks extension to your orientation. Give yourself a little more time to make the decision to stay or leave. Don't look at forever...just look at the next 4 weeks. You can push pause on major decision-making for 4 weeks. 

Talk to your manager and your educator about the most troublesome aspects of your practice and follow their advice.

Best wishes

[Cabana]

I’m in the same boat as you currently. I’ve been off orientation for about 4 weeks on a busy med surg unit and I've been miserable. With that being said, since the middle of my orientation I’ve been straight forward about my anxiety to my manager, and I’ve seen two therapists as well has have a medication change that hasn’t seemed to help. After showing them I’m trying everything I can to make it better, they agreed they didn’t want me to be miserable. I currently have two office job offers and I will most likely be done on my unit in about a week. Try talking with your manager or educator and see if they have any resources. Since I was up front and honest with them from the beginning I’m not leaving on bad terms there. Maybe try that route and see if they are able to help in any way. 
 

I agree with nurse beth, try seeing a counselor and other options like maybe starting on some anxiety medications. I know it’s easier said than done, but try to have fun or do things you enjoy on your off days. I’ve struggled with getting out of bed and crying on the couch on my off days but honestly sometimes distractions from it are really helpful. 
 

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way but you’re not alone! Do what’s best for you!

[Stillcrazyafteralltheseyears]

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I myself worked med-surg after graduation. It was incredibly busy and I would work thru my lunch break and stopped taking bathroom breaks just to get finished when the next shift came on. I was wiped out. And when children came I became numb and exhausted. I couldn't go on. I luckily had a boss that would let me change my schedule. 2 days on, 2 days off. I took a cut in pay because I wasn't working my 40 hours a week, but it gave me a little bit more control in my personnel and professional life. I don't know if this will help. But you sound so incredible wanting to be the best on your job. I eventually left hospital work (after 10 years working with a schedule that helped with raising a family) and went on to different specialties. Some great fits and some not so great. I learned something valuable at every job. I never felt I compromised myself. I was able to connect and problem solve with my patients. Also working with other specialities, and learning their purpose in patients care. I always had to deal with my anxiety disorder along the way. Changed meds seen Dr.'s etc.  On some days I worked I honestly didn't feel it. Their such an expectation of healthcare workers to be perfect. I loved the latest post about being totally straight forward with management and nurse educator. You are not alone. Their are so many nurses that feel this way. Thank you for your honesty, you are giving courage to others to tell their stories of their personnel struggles in our career.

[Cabana]

4 hours ago, Stillcrazyafteralltheseyears said:

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I myself worked med-surg after graduation. It was incredibly busy and I would work thru my lunch break and stopped taking bathroom breaks just to get finished when the next shift came on. I was wiped out. And when children came I became numb and exhausted. I couldn't go on. I luckily had a boss that would let me change my schedule. 2 days on, 2 days off. I took a cut in pay because I wasn't working my 40 hours a week, but it gave me a little bit more control in my personnel and professional life. I don't know if this will help. But you sound so incredible wanting to be the best on your job. I eventually left hospital work (after 10 years working with a schedule that helped with raising a family) and went on to different specialties. Some great fits and some not so great. I learned something valuable at every job. I never felt I compromised myself. I was able to connect and problem solve with my patients. Also working with other specialities, and learning their purpose in patients care. I always had to deal with my anxiety disorder along the way. Changed meds seen Dr.'s etc.  On some days I worked I honestly didn't feel it. Their such an expectation of healthcare workers to be perfect. I loved the latest post about being totally straight forward with management and nurse educator. You are not alone. Their are so many nurses that feel this way. Thank you for your honesty, you are giving courage to others to tell their stories of their personnel struggles in our career.

I love this response! Eventually everyone finds the right place for them! I’m currently in the process of doing so and even though that is very anxiety inducing in it’s own, it’s a step in the right direction in finding what works best for you! @Stillcrazyafteralltheseyears can I ask how many areas in the office you’ve worked in and what settings you enjoyed the most? Just curious as I’m looking into making the switch as well! Again what stillcrazyafteratheseyears said, thank you for sharing your story! Know that you’re not alone in your struggle and do  what’s best for you!

[TreeJ, ADN, RN]

First, Im sorry for the New RN stress.  I remember years ago ready to walk into the Med/Surg unit and not leaving the car a long time.  Finally, praying and got the courage to walk the sidewalk into the building.  
 

I remember dreaming of those beeping pumps & jumping up in the middle of the night thinking “ shoot did I finish that new order!”  Your feelings are all Nurses by certain degrees.  Nursing is an acquired field that we choose.  
 

If your called to Derm, I encourage you to it.  Here is my “but” though.  Over the years I’ve been to varying areas of Nursing.  What floor Nursing does that, to me will carry you is a foundation to multi task, critical think, and build your decisional confidence.  Nursing specialties are allowing much autonomy, including Nurses in an office. 
 

My hope is you’ll hang in there and focus on Nurse skills, and not only actual hands on but hone your Nurse mind.  Especially, with a supportive staff around you.  Someday,  you could take a job where all your years and experience is all you have as reference.  

Good Luck to you and to all new Grads.   You can do it!  

[Gooday]

Anytime you start working in a high stress area it's extremely hard those first 3-4 months. My first nursing job I wanted to quit every day. I was almost in tears out of sheer frustration.  After about four months I started enjoying working there.   I hated when I had to leave that job do to a family move.