the value of a good attitude

My husband once put it to me this way and it has always helped me when I'm feeling like you describe......

Does what/who is upsetting you really matter when you stop and think about it in the grand scheme of things?

In other words....say a co-worker makes a negative comment about you and you become upset about it. Think of your life and the most important things to you. Does that co-worker and their opinion rate anywhere near the top of that list? Most likely the answer is no. So thinking in this manner helps me to put things into perspective and not become upset over things that really do not matter to me.

I hope you understand.....that was a lot more difficult to explain than I anticipated. :)

When you go into work, focus needs to be on the patients. If you keep your mind on patient care as opposed to any fray that is occuring around you that is not related to your patients, then all the better.

You don't necessarily need to be assertive, you need to be clear. Clear communication is an important thing. You do need to be professional, just not besties with everyone around you.

It is disheartening if someone makes comments regarding you that are negative. As the pp noted--in the grand scheme of things, this is of little personal importance to take up rental space in your brain.

Until managers get with a "nurses who are using their full time hours to sabatoge the work of other nurses are being let go. Period" and no tolerance means no tolerance--you can only go in to work, do what you need to do, and leave. Make sure your life outside of work has your friendships and what you care about. That way, when you leave work you really leave work.

Best wishes.

For me it is gratitude. I am grateful that I have a well-paying, meaningful job. Lots of people don't have that. I have my good health. Look at the patients, some have some very sad stories. However bad my day at work is, somedays I realize that my problems are small compared to the problems of others.

I build a life outside of work. That way I don't have to be so dependent on the opinions of my coworkers for approval.

All of the above are very good pieces of advice! I would also like to add that if you are having trouble after following it all...I find it is invaluable to have someone to say "you're my person" to. Someone I trust with an absolute that I can vent to, they will listen and ***** with me. Then I can put a smile on my face and move on.

My husband once put it to me this way and it has always helped me when I'm feeling like you describe......

Does what/who is upsetting you really matter when you stop and think about it in the grand scheme of things?

In other words....say a co-worker makes a negative comment about you and you become upset about it. Think of your life and the most important things to you. Does that co-worker and their opinion rate anywhere near the top of that list? Most likely the answer is no. So thinking in this manner helps me to put things into perspective and not become upset over things that really do not matter to me.

I hope you understand.....that was a lot more difficult to explain than I anticipated. :)

This.

And it also helps me to get things in perspective by thinking- will this matter to me in a year from now?

It isn't always easy.

In the moment, I try to respond positively. I smile, say thank you to whomever I'm dealing with. Even if they are being particularly nasty and obviously trying to coax a reaction out of me. I respond to negativity with positivity. Sometimes, the person I am interacting with gets surprised and does a 180. Sometimes they don't. On occasion if they are truly inappropriate (patient, family member, rarely coworker), then I will have to let them know calmly and directly that I am here to care for the patient and this is much more effective if we all work together.

When it's hard, I fake it. I am very, very good at faking "nice", even when on autopilot. On some of my most stressful days, patients compliment me on my sweetness and caring attitude. Some of these patients are my biggest PIA's. Go figure.

We are human and have feelings, we will get offended/hurt no matter how hard we try. It's important to realize that though you might feel stung, the way you react is more important than how you feel about it. If you are positive, you might change someone else's attitude. If you fake cheerfulness enough, you might actually feel it. Being positive makes negative interactions ten times easier.

You cannot control the actions of others, only your reactions.

When it gets bad, vent. It helps. Not to coworkers, because word travels fast and it can come off as very unprofessional. But a friend, SO, or family member. Go to the bathroom and cry if you need to. I think everyone has done that at least once. Afterwards, debrief yourself. What happened? Could you have acted differently? Will you act differently if you have to interact with this person again? Form a plan.

Nursing is tough stuff.