Unsupportive family and chore-studying.

CuriousMe · Aug 23, 2009

I wouldn't expect a dramatic change in your family...not to be cynical, but you're going to nursing school...they aren't. It's a big life change for you, not them.

So, instead of expecting them to give you solitary time/space....go someplace else to study (library--either school or public, a coffee shop, a friend's house....whatever works for you!). The point is that instead of expecting everyone in your family to change their behavior to support your life change, change your behavior and avoid a problem.

As far as studying while doing other things. Definitely listen to lectures (I do this all the time)...the other thing you could do is make notecards out of your notes and put them on a ring. That way they're easy pull out and test yourself as your doing other things.

Best of luck!! :wink2:

OCD_Mom · Aug 23, 2009

My first time in college my mother was the least supportive person in the world and I never was able to study, I got angry and gave up. CuriousMe is exactly right, you are going to have to find your own place to study. This situation as frustrating as it is will give you a huge problem solving skills and abilities.

allnurses Guide · Aug 23, 2009

Rather than hauling your texts around all the time, try making flash cards that you can just whip out and review.

Doesn't sound like Mom is going to be impressed with seeing your work load, I wouldn't give her any more ammo to go after you with (see, its too much. you shouldn't do it. blahblahblah). I take it you still live with the parents? Make a list of the chores you do, and when you'll do them, refuse to accept anything else that interferes with study time. Schedule them when the library is closed, study there or anywhere else that family won't have access to you. (what do you mean you can't help me with this right now?! All you're doing is sitting around reading!)

(Gee, I sound like Curious :) )

ToBANurse2010 · Aug 23, 2009

I agree you decided to go yo school not your family. They are still going to expect you to keep doing the chores that you've been doing (I know from experience). Although, I didn't realize this until the end of my 1st year of nursing school, but the point I learned that in order for me to have time to study I had to leave home or go to the library after school in order to study. Now I'll start my 2nd yr next week, I plan to continue with this and I love my family, but it's my career not theirs :twocents:

nohika · Aug 23, 2009

:heartbeat:heartbeat:heartbeat:heartbeat Thank all of you so incredibly much! I hadn't even thought about all of that.

My mother (I'm 19, so I do still live at home) has lectured me about not "staying at school to escape the house" so all that means is after class, I'll pop over to the library (or maybe Starbucks, or simply staying on campus), study for a few hours, head home, do chores, and study a bit afterwards.

Thank all of you so much for your encouragement - I know it's going to be a rough quarter, but thank you. :redpinkhe I feel a lot better now.

JulesRN10 · Aug 23, 2009

my family was very similar...i was a single mom with 2 girls, ages 1 yr and 11 yrs when i went to school. i couldn't do it all by myself, so i moved back home...yep, there were lots of chores, but i didn't even try to study before my kids were in bed. my parents went to bed fairly early, so, around 8:30 every night, out came the books and the dining room became study hall. many nights my mom told me it was time for me to go to bed b/c i got up at 4:30 to be able to leave on time, but it had to be done. so, my goal was to be in bed by midnight every night. after a while, she got tired of harping at me (i was 35 afterall) and when i brought home a's, maintained my kids schedules, kept up with their extra curriculars, and held down a job, eventually, she quit and just observed silently.

i tell you all of this to encourage you...prove to them that you can and will do this, with or without their help. just do the best you can, and take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, and don't waste any of it. you can do it, just keep your eye on the prize! and in the end, they'll either be proud of you or not, but you will have accomplished your goal!

JomoNurse · Aug 23, 2009

1) Find someplace where you are comfortable to study.

2) Chores don't take up THAT much time. You'll have plenty of study time leftover.

cingle · Aug 23, 2009

From personal experience...study when you're at your strongest and work on chores when you're tired. If you're a morning person, study then and do chores in the evening when you're tired but can still perform "manual" labor tasks. If you're a night-owl then you might study late at night and do chores early in the day.

You can work it out AND succeed (and move out!) if you find ways to work around your family. It'll be worth it to get out on your own and be financially independent from your family. As a mom of adults, I can say that your mother may enjoy having you around to visit occasionally much more than she does having you live at home as an adult!