unable to read preceptor

Nurses General Nursing

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HI EVERYONE,I AM IN NEED OF SOME INPUT.I HAVE STARTED ON MED-SURG AT A SMALL HOSPITAL,AND MY PRECEPTOR WAS VERY FRIENDLY TO ME THE FIRST FEW DAYS AND NOW OUR RELATIONSHIP IS STRAINED.I HAVE NO IDEA WHY.EVERYTIME I MAKE A MISTAKE I FEEL LIKE A TOTAL IDIOT(I AM OLDER THEN HER).I DO NOT GET ANY FEED BACK FROM HER UNLESS I ASK.I AM FEELING VERY INTIMIDATED.SHOULD I SPEAK WITH HER OR ASK TO HAVE ANOTHER PRECEPTOR??THANKS FOR YOUR HELP,MY EXPERIENCE THERE IS NOT TURNING OUT POSITIVE OR SUPPORTIVE.

Regardless of the outcome and how you choose to handle this situation, please remember that this person who is a preceptor today, will, in a very short time, be a coworker. From your words, I sense that this coworker feels threatened. You can only change you, not your preceptor. Try to avoid being defensive, stay positive, and avoid stooping to her level of unprofessional behavior.

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Jennifer

Hi Spitfire;

I feel for you being in an uncomfortable situation. I can remember my orientation 10 years ago. It was a very positive experience and must say my preceptor became my mentor and I can still go to her for advice even though we live many miles away.

I have watched many preceptors and how they treat new people and have called a few of them on their behavior. We are passive aggresive people and we do eat our young. I agree, go to your preceptor and talk to her openly how you feel. I sure hope things get better for you. If not I suggest that you have a mediator.

Nancy

Hey spitfire:

Congrats on getting this far. Orientation to your craft isn't easy, but it sure does teach you things about the subculture of nursing. Even the shifts carry different personalities themselves.

I recall finally transferring to the ICU a few years back and how giddy and intimidated and feeling "what was I thinking???" coming over me. Remember we all had to orient to our specialty and sometimes we have to orient often (I'm a traveller).

Having only a couple days to orient, despite knowing basic skills in the area, every place, every state can do things completely differently than what you've become used to. I find out sho seems (often times it's the preceptor) to be the most approachable, ask my questions humbly but assertively and forewarn them that I will always have more questions to clarify other things. We always learn new things and nurses dislike boisterous-cocky-know-it-alls. It's that CYA rule because, bottom-line, you stand alone with your license in a court of law no matter how anyone empathizes your actions.

Offer your help with even little things, never look like you're too comfortable being a part of the group because you never are till you're hired. And when you're hired, you're ripe to be the topic of gossip (good and bad). It's simply the politics of the workplace.

You sound like a conscientious nurse. It isn't always easy. None of us are simply just nurses. Most times the hospital is the last place we want to be in when personal life stressors are on-going.

Good luck, spitfire. That's a name with a positive connotation.

I too want to advise you to remember that your preceptor of today will be tomorrows co-worker. Consider how you would feel if you were drug into your manager's office to be told that the orient YOU ARE TRYING YOUR BEST TO HELP: A) has a problem with you, B) didn't come to you first so C) the preceptor gets called into the office and gets reemed out by the manager. Just remember the preceptor is getting to know you to, I doubt you wish to be known as a tattle tale.

Totally disagree. The preceptor is not "trying her best to help." She is no good as a preceptor ~ she's giving ZILCH feedback! Bull ~ stand up and say what is going on and what you need ~ not to her ~ to the unit manager ~ tactfully ~ it's your career and when you get off orientation, you're gonna have to deliver. Saying well, I didn't want to hurt her feelings...blah, blah, blah....will just make you look like a fool.

THANKS EVERYONE,MY PRECEPTOR IS GIVING ME ROOM NOW AND ALSO FEED BACK SINCE I ASKED FOR IT.WE ALSO SAT DOWN WITH ONE OF THE SUPERVISORS AND TALKED ABOUT WHAT IS GOING GOOD-WHAT NEEDED TO BE WORKED ON AND WHEN DID I THINK I COULD GO ON UN-OFFICIALLY BY MYSELF....I TOLD THEM I NEEDED AT LEAST A FEW MORE WEEKS(IT'D ONLY BEEN-3-4)THEY SAID I CAN WHEN I FELT COMFORTABLE.THEY NEEDED TO HEAR THAT I WAS NOT GOING TO LEAVE-AS A FEW HAD ALREADY.SO I DID SPEAK WITH MY PRECEPTOR AND THINGS ARE GOING MUCH BETTER.peace

Please remember that nurses that are willing to precept do care. That nurse took the time to take classes or at least tell her unit coordinator that he/she was willing to work with a nurse new to that unit. I think talking to the preceptor is the first step, sometimes the nurses precepting have a hard time reading the preceptee too. We are in an environment in which we have to use theraputic communication, its kinda hard under the pressure of the first week of preceptor/preceptee to switch to something different for a few minutes then back to the patient. Have lunch together, it helps to get you away from the unit and just talk as nurses....as you both are. smile.gif

iamme457

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