Twas the Month after Christmas (Cute)

[nurz2be]

[color=#990099]twas the month after christmas

[color=#990099]twas the month after christmas and all through the house

nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

[color=#990099]the cookies i'd nibbled, the eggnog i'd taste.

all the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

[color=#990099]when i got on the scales there arose such a number!

when i walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

[color=#990099]i'd remember the marvelous meals i'd prepared;

the gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

[color=#990099]the wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese

and the way i'd never said, "no thank you, please."

[color=#990099]as i dressed myself in my husband's old shirt

and prepared once again to do battle with dirt---

[color=#990099]i said to myself, as i only can

"you can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

[color=#990099]so--away with the last of the sour cream dip,

get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip

[color=#990099]every last bit of food that i like must be banished

till all the additional ounces have vanished.

[color=#990099]i won't have a cookie--not even a lick.

i'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

[color=#990099]i won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,

i'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

[color=#990099]i'm hungry, i'm lonesome, and life is a bore---

but isn't that what january is for?

[color=#990099]unable to giggle, no longer a riot.

happy new year to all and to all a good diet!

[color=#990099]author unknown

[Diary/Dairy, RN]

[PedsRN1991]

OMG...too funny!!