Trouble wrapping up orientation time

[RunBabyRN]

I am down to the last 3 weeks or so of a 12 week orientation at my dream job in L&D. I LOVE what I do and the people I am doing it with. I feel like I have learned so much, and I am learning more and more every day.

I have a couple of primary preceptors, and a few others I have worked with. One of my preceptors and I have really butted heads. She came in about a month after I'd been working solely with the other preceptor (this was already the plan), and I feel like she treated me like it was day one, and has been micromanaging me and minimizing me in front of patients. I feel like a lot of the things I do I am told it's the wrong way, even if another preceptor told me that's how it's done, and I feel like I can't do anything right. This preceptor and I had a sit-down with our manager a couple of weeks ago after an eventful situation (patient deteriorated fast, I tried to do what I could, learn by observing where I could, stayed out of the way when stuff was time-critical, etc). I brought up my concerns with my preceptor and the manager, they brought up theirs.

I was told by a coworker today that I am being watched, and may not be retained after orientation. I'm not sure if she heard this before or after the sit-down with my manager and preceptor. This preceptor feels like I don't do things her way or listen, and I feel the opposite. I feel like I am trying to learn, I've learned a lot from her, and I try to ask questions where I can and where appropriate. I've asked that unless I am risking patient safety that she not correct me in front of patients (she's done it over very minor things that I feel make the patients lose confidence in me; I get that there ARE times I need to be corrected in front of a patient). I also told the manager that when there's a major situation, having time to debrief and ask questions that weren't appropriate to ask when it was happening (for example, learning how to hang blood when a patient is getting slammed with product in two sites with rapid infusers would not be the right time to ask someone to walk me through it, so being able to go over it later, like the next day) would be extremely beneficial.

I feel like since our sit-down, I have worked very hard at letting her take the lead, trying to do things her way, and that overall, we've been getting along better. I truly think she's a nice person and a good nurse, but the dynamic between us in this relationship has been a struggle, and I think we both have been making a concerted effort to make it work since we talked.

Overall, I've had really good response from patients about my care, and I feel like I do well, and am taking in a lot. I've had some hairy situations that were very good learning experiences (baby resuscitations, DIC patient, transfusion reaction, hemorrhages, etc.). I love this job, and I can see myself doing it for the next 30+ years. But if I am being watched like this, I am terrified I may lose this job, which would be beyond devastating (there is also a lot going on personally, and I NEED this job to work). I am crushed thinking that there is a risk of losing what I feel I have worked so hard for, and have felt I was doing well with.

I don't know if I am asking for advice or simply venting. I know that the best things I can do with my remaining time are show that I am receptive to new things and learning, I am part of the team, and to keep my mouth shut. I may ask my two preceptors this week how they feel I am doing and if they feel things have improved since we talked.

Any other advice or words of wisdom would be appreciated.

[Lev, MSN, RN, NP]

This is what I would do. I would put out new job applications NOW just in case. You have heard this from a coworker. Not your manager or preceptor. There may be no reason to be concerned. I would hate to get to the end of my orientation and then have the ball dropped on me that I have to leave. At the end of every shift, ask your preceptor for feedback about how the shift went. Talk about the thing you did best and things you needed improvement in most. Do not badmouth your preceptor. If you are concerned about a particular situation, I would recount what happened without mentioning your feelings or what you think of your preceptor. Just state the facts - This is what happened. I did xyz. Preceptor said xyz in front of patient. Patient make xyz expression, said xyz did not let me do xyz later on. I would also try to organize weekly meetings with your preceptor and manager about your progress. Do not badmouth yourself. Only emphasize how you have improved and your plans for improvement in the future. Now is the time to kiss up to your manager, preceptor, and coworkers. Coffee one morning, a package of her favorite pens, or a gift card with sincere appreciation and how much you are loving this job. Not just to this preceptor, but to your others too. This are small things you can do now to save yourself later. I would not bring up what you heard from this coworker to your manager or preceptor. I would just try to kiss behinds as much as possible.

Hope this helps.

[RunBabyRN]

This is what I would do. I would put out new job applications NOW just in case. You have heard this from a coworker. Not your manager or preceptor. There may be no reason to be concerned. I would hate to get to the end of my orientation and then have the ball dropped on me that I have to leave. At the end of every shift, ask your preceptor for feedback about how the shift went. Talk about the thing you did best and things you needed improvement in most. Do not badmouth your preceptor. If you are concerned about a particular situation, I would recount what happened without mentioning your feelings or what you think of your preceptor. Just state the facts - This is what happened. I did xyz. Preceptor said xyz in front of patient. Patient make xyz expression, said xyz did not let me do xyz later on. I would also try to organize weekly meetings with your preceptor and manager about your progress. Do not badmouth yourself. Only emphasize how you have improved and your plans for improvement in the future. Now is the time to kiss up to your manager, preceptor, and coworkers. Coffee one morning, a package of her favorite pens, or a gift card with sincere appreciation and how much you are loving this job. Not just to this preceptor, but to your others too. This are small things you can do now to save yourself later. I would not bring up what you heard from this coworker to your manager or preceptor. I would just try to kiss behinds as much as possible.

Hope this helps.

I found out where she heard it from- it's a charge nurse, who spoke to me a couple of days later about the same thing (I didn't tell the charge that someone else had already told me this was coming). She said she's heard some feedback from other nurses. I didn't ask when this feedback came or from whom (obviously), but I tried to be receptive to it and I thanked her for the feedback.

Since this conversation, I've asked both preceptors at the beginnings of my shifts if they feel there is anything I need to work on specifically before we take an assignment (the RNs on our unit choose their own assignments, or we draw if we can't decide), and I have asked for feedback at the end of the shifts if there is anything they felt I could have done differently or that went well or poorly. It's been good feedback, and they haven't said anything about needing to work on anything specific. The one I have felt is undermining me is getting better, but it still happens, and I just keep my mouth shut at this point. I know it's time-limited, and it's not going to help at this point to bring it up.

The day after my coworker and I had this conversation, my other preceptor (the one I've been doing well with) told my manager she thinks I'm ready to go on my own, about 2-3 weeks ahead of schedule, actually. The manager and my shift supervisor came to me about the schedule. They didn't say anything about any negative feedback, and I didn't bring it up. So it looks like I may be on my own starting next week. I definitely didn't plan to bring up the negative feedback, but if my preceptor hadn't gone to my manager, I was considering asking the manager how she felt I was doing. This week wouldn't have been a good week for that, however, as Joint Commission arrived Tuesday! That kept me from bugging her, because I understand she has PLENTY on her plate with that alone.

I was already planning to give thank you cards and small gifts to each of my two main preceptors, and they will be comparable to each other. I need to do that this weekend before I go back in Monday.

Thanks for the recommendations! I think we are thinking on the same plane. I was also trying to consider other work options (though losing this job would absolutely break my heart, because it's exactly what I've always wanted).