Top Ten Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery

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Specializes in Everything except surgery.

. Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

2. Nurse, did this patient sign the organs donation card?

3. Damn! Page 84 of the manual is missing!

4. Everybody stand back! I lost a contact lens!

5. Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie

6. Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

7. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"

8. Whoa, wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

9. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, he's got two of 'em

10. What do you mean "You want a divorce?"

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Here are some:

1. What do you mean she wasn't scheduled for a hysterectomy?

2. Wow- She's got great knockers!

3. I did get any sleep at all last night.

4. Singing Christmas Carols, telling jokes & laughing (this was actually going on during my C-Section!)

:chuckle

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These are funny!

How about this one:

"OOPS!"

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Specializes in Everything except surgery.

:rotfl: Good Ones:)!

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Specializes in Everything but psych!.

Actually said during a nephrectomy being performed by a surgeon. The surgeon says, "OMG....I just partially immobilized the spleem." Didn't want that surgeon working on me or anybody I knew!

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Specializes in OR,ER,med/surg,SCU.

I saw this done once during residency:p

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Very funny but scary. During an ear surgery that I got to observe the surgeon was joking around that he could disable a certain nerve (forgot which one) in the patients ear to make all his food taste bad for a while. He was joking around b/c the patient was very obese. I thought it was funny but very scary b/c if that patient only knew !!

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Specializes in Everything except surgery.
Originally posted by Audreyfay

Actually said during a nephrectomy being performed by a surgeon. The surgeon says, "OMG....I just partially immobilized the spleem." Didn't want that surgeon working on me or anybody I knew!

:eek:!!!

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Specializes in Everything except surgery.
Originally posted by wanabebabynurse

Very funny but scary. During an ear surgery that I got to observe the surgeon was joking around that he could disable a certain nerve (forgot which one) in the patients ear to make all his food taste bad for a while. He was joking around b/c the patient was very obese. I thought it was funny but very scary b/c if that patient only knew !!

You'd be surprised what people hear. I had an bronch, and they thought I was out, but I heard every word they said:chuckle

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brownms46, that's very scary !! Hope that they said all good things and behaved !! I really hope this guy didn't hear any of it !

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Specializes in Everything except surgery.

OOh they were good, but I also hope this guy didn't hear them!

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How about... just pick it up the five second rule applies in here too. Or else which one is his left leg????

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