Told to have tougher skin!

TDCHIM · May 26, 2010

tough skin doesn't happen because you wish it. I wish I never had acquired it, but my home life would suffer and be a mess if I didn't toughen up and seperate the two.
You have to go through each experience... live through it and find a way to be whole, in your whole life. It doesn't simply happen.
You have to code a 32 year old H1N1 that dies with her 4 year old at bedside... trach and peg a 102 year old who's family wants the social security pay check... code a 18 yr. old multiple gunshot wound victim... only to save him and have him a quad for the rest of his life at family demands...teach the 85 year old grandma that her heart attack will leave her a cardiac cripple and unable to breathe just doing her favorite cooking... the 45 year old that needed a heart transplant that dibbled in drugs again will now die... off the transplant list.
The frequent flyer that you bond with that you swear you got through that shows up with a blood sugar of 700, a PH of 6.9... and he codes and dies at 23.... the 45 year old MI that didn't have health insurance and waited at home for days.. and now needs a transplant and won't get one without insurance.
Grandma that doesn't understand 60 years of cooking on fat back and bacon is causing her CHF and pats your hand kindly and tells you..."it's the way its' always been".
I've obviously gone too far, remembering so many people that have touched me. My point is.. 15 years in it still hurts, sure my skin is hard if a doc tries to take me on... a co-worker gets snarky... but there will ALWAYS be patients that get through that skin and touch your soul.
Thats why we're here, it's hard. when it isn't ... time to go. My skin is dragon hide tough, but the people I care for always penetrate it. That is the difference. Never stop caring.. but leave it at the door so you have the strength to care again.

This is one of the most eloquent explanations of a nurse's work I have ever read. Thank you.

Orca, ADN, ASN, RN · May 26, 2010

Zookeeper, one of the most amazing posts I've read on this board. You summarized it better than I ever could.

labrador4122, RN · May 26, 2010

I was told be several people on a previous post that I need to have tougher skin in the workplace. Is this something you have always had (for those of u who have it) or something you acquired due to working in the healthcare field. I agree I do and I need to know what I can do to toughen up the skin.

I have just had to deal with an evil co-worker recently! and I was never told "you have to have tough skin" to make it.... I've learned that on my own. You will deal with difficult co-workers who think their standards of care are higher than yours. You will have co=workers that any chance they get they will throw you under the bus to make themselves look better than you. You will have people that do not help you or offer their help unless you ask them for help...... many many situations where people just don't act their best, including patients.

And if you feel teary eyed at work, you better hold back those tears and keep moving and keep learning and try to do an even better job. Check everything and make sure everything is right because if not, those people just eat you up and put you down.