Thursday January 12 2023

No Stars In My Eyes · Jan 12, 2023

We got back from the doctor's appt, where I didn't say one single thing. Although he has c/o dizziness at times, and said he felt a little sick to his stomach this morning, but when the doc went through his checklist, hubby denied all of it: no drinking, no nausea, no headaches (tho he has occ c/o those too, at times). I told hil he doesn't do himself any favors by not telling the doctor everything, and his response was "I'M NOT GOING TO THE HOSPITAL!" Fine, then.

Now he has supposedly gone to pick up his otterbox that they had to order for him. We'll see. I had told y'all I was not the vodka police, but I did go out and look in the Ford, and there are 2 empty little bottles and one with about a 1/2 an inch left init. He had ditched the bottle that was in the passenger's side floor, in a paper bag. He's back, so we'll see if he has the otterbox or booze.

Later---

No Stars In My Eyes · Jan 12, 2023

Nope, the guy at the store broke the ottebox he had for hubby, when he was taking it out of the box, so now he has to order another one, which may come in tomorrow or the next day. Well, we'll see.

I will probably go out later and peer into the Ford for "evidence", to see if he went to ABC.

*sigh*

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jan 13, 2023

Stars. do tell what is an "otterbox".

Worked today. We're in our "season" being Winter, but it's busier than normal with ERs filled up and our census is really high. Managers have been mandated to work the floor to clear out the ER. Makes me thankful I refused management positions on more than one occasion.

No Stars In My Eyes · Jan 13, 2023

As far as I know, an otterbox is a thing that goes around the edges of his smartphone. I guess it's supposed to act like a bumper? Also it's supposed to keep the phone from slipping out of his athletic-pants pocket.

He did lose his phone AGAIN this afternoon and I found it wedged down in the 'works' of his recliner. I had to jam my hand in there and work it out a little at a time. Didn't do my arthritic knuckles any good.

And, of course, hubby did go to the ABC store and buy some little bottles of vodka. After Nannie went to bed he slipped out to the Ford and drank 3 of those little bottles. He had already taken his Ativan. He told me he had fallen out there beside the car and had a hard time getting up. Tsk, tsk.

But then, he went up to his room, I guess he drank some more, because his speech was very slurred and he was unsteady. Around 9:30 PM he decided to go up to the kitchen to get something to eat. Well, once he had his feet on the kitchen floor, he lurched forward and grabbed the cutting-block table, and it wouldn't hold him and he fell, of course FACE FIRST onto the floor in front of the fridge. Bloody nose, big wide 1 inch by 1/2 an inch elliptical gap in the skin above his eyebrow which could use about 10 stitches, but Mr-I'm-NOT-Going-to-the-Hospital! said he didn't care if it left a big scar.It took him another 1/2 hour to work his way up off the floor. I just put a big bandaid over his eyebrow cut. It keeps trickling blood, but I can't fashion any kind of bandage that doesn't stick to part of his eyebrow/eyelid. Then it took 1/2 an hour to bandage all the rest of the places he was bleeding from this time (fingers, hand, arm, elbow). Can't bandage the glasses of which he, once again, bent the frames on.

Helped him upstairs and into bed, but do you think he'd STAY there? Why, of course not. I heard him moving around so I got up and went int there....he wa trying to put his cellphone on the charger. Then, a few minutes later I heard him get up, and went to see what it was this time. He wanted to come in my room and sit with me while he had a cigarette. So he did, and then I helped him back to bed, again.

I told him that he may as well call his doctor and let him know he doesn't want to get sober. He said he was waiting for....but didn't ever finish his sentence. I don't know if he is waiting for the rehab? But that'd probably be like or in the hospital anyway, though I ain't tellin' him that. But he'll not get any more Ativan from me! I'll may have to call the doc's office tomorrow, or drop a note by marked "Personal" and let him know that the detox ain't happening any more, and why.

The next appt is Monday at 10:20 AM. And you can bet your sweet bippy that I'm not keeping my mouth shut this time. I am disgusted and damn tired of having to care for an alcoholic who NEVER follows directions, and by gawd if you say the word "don't" he'll do it or be damned.

I told him that he had no clue how he has traumatized me every single day with his stupid drinking. He said that HE was also traumatized. I said the difference is that *I* am NOT drinking and falling down.

So, do you think I should let the doc know tomorrow, or wait until Monday's appointment?

nursej22, MSN, RN · Jan 13, 2023

An Otterbox is a name brand cell phone case, that protects the phone from breakage and water damage. My dh uses them and swears by them.
I just got home from Seattle after taking sis to establish care with a new cardiologist. The visit took 2 hours, and then traffic was horrible. But, the doc seems interested in helping her to feel better, where as the old one told her she needs to accept she won't get any better. This is a woman who was a very active gardener, volunteer and used to do Zumba, who can barely walk a half block without getting winded.
Joe, those seem to be wise steps to take, career wise. Have you ever thought about ministry as a career? You seem so devoted to your church. Just an idea.
Yes Tweety, I always turned down suggestions to move into management. And now more than ever, it seems so soul sucking.
Stars, I would let doc know sooner rather than later, and I wouldn't hold back about drinking, falling or all the injuries. He is not safe.

Editorial Team / Admin · Jan 13, 2023

nursej22 said:

Stars, I would let doc know sooner rather than later, and I wouldn't hold back about drinking, falling or all the injuries. He is not safe.

Agree. Sooner rather than later.