The Top 25 Witty Things to Say to Your
Doctor During a Pelvic or Prostate Exam
25> "Take it easy, Doc -- you're boldly going where no man
has gone before."
24> "Hey, my chi is unblocking!"
23> "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
22> "Can you hear me NOW?"
21> "Oh, boy! That was sphincteriffic!"
20> "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head
is not, in fact, up there?"
19> "You know, in some states, we're now legally married."
18> "Smith, Corporal, 0291563!"
17> "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
16> "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out.
You do the Hokey Pokey..."
15> "Ever seen 'The Crying Game'?"
14> "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
13> "Doc, wanna see my Ned Beatty impression?"
12> "I love the smell of latex and K-Y in the morning.
It smells like... victory!"
11> "Ever gut a squid?"
10> "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"
9> "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
8> "Does this gown make my cervix look fat?"
7> "Go slow, Doc -- I wanna learn how to do this for my friends."
6> "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
5> "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
4> "Say, Doc, how's about this time *I* get on top?"
3> "Sometimes, when you touch, the honesty's too much, and I
have to close my eyes and pee."
2> "Deflector shields: Down!"
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Witty Thing to Say to
Your Doctor During a Pelvic or Prostate Exam...
1> "Get a camera! We can tell Ripley's Believe It or Not that
we're the most unusual Siamese twins EVER!"
