The "DUH" moment

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During clinical last week I was educating an elderly couple (just shy of 90 elderly couple) about the wife's upcoming pacemaker insertion. Both the husband and wife were very concerned about her activity level once recovered. I kept trying to reassure them the patient's activity level would improve once her heart was beating regularly again. I was not getting through to them and was actually beginning to get frustrated. How many times can you say the same things different ways right??

Finally, the husband says to me what about bedroom visits? I repeated his question because honestly I was confused about bedroom visits. They will both be celebrating their 90th birthdays within a year and a half. I assumed that "THAT" aspect of their life wasn't a concern as much anymore... After a very awkward explanation I can honestly say the old saying about when you assume you make an a## out of u and me is completely correct. Who knew that was possible? And I officially have a new goal for when I hit 85 +

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Specializes in Emergency.

Lol! That is great! :cheeky:

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no one will be getting my goodies after 49 ;-0

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Specializes in HH, Peds, Rehab, Clinical.

There is no "age out" on Maslow!

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Specializes in Pediatric Hematology/Oncology.

LOL! :cheeky:

You'll have to give yourself a break on this one. It's hard to even get within a mile of that topic with people who are in that age range (i.e. I think now with people who are in their 60s or 70s it might seem like an easier subject to discuss since they're the hippie free love baby boomer generation). Those who are still among us coming from "the greatest generation" seem like they would be so wholesome and innocent (but then there's the assumption that sexual intimacy isn't wholesome and innocent). But at least now you'll be more keenly aware of what they mean when they're talking about "bedroom visits/activity" and know that, yes, indeed physical intimacy does not come with a built in expiration date (though, IMHO, he should really leave the poor woman alone at this point :woot:).

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My instructor had a ball with this. I'm very composed and not nervous (on the outside) at clinical but this gave me a deer in the headlights moment. Good Lord!!!! It was a huge toss up as to who was more uncomfortable about the bedroom visit talk. I almost would rather talk to my teenager about it. :D Also, I will never look at my grandparents in the same way again :)

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Specializes in ICU.

I love it!! If I live until my 90's, I totally hope I am still having sex. My bf thinks the idea is gross but I think it is awesome. I hope my sex drive never diminshes.

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When I went to visit my grandparents last summer, I was asking them about how they met and they told me they were set up on a blind date 67 years ago. I said to my grandpa, "Well I guess the date went well" and he said "Of course it went well, look at her! She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!" I'm pretty sure that when he looks at her, he still sees the gorgeous 20-something woman he met all those years ago. I think that's how it goes when you're in love and aging together. In the 5 years I've been with my husband we've both "sagged" a little bit in places (especially me since I've had a baby in that time) but we're more attracted to each other than ever. I'd be pretty sad if he all of a sudden stopped finding me desirable, even if it was 67 years from now ;)

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