As health care professionals, we have a unique opportunity to meet many people who affect us in so many ways. Our patients challenge and encourage us, and each one has a story. If we're lucky, we are allowed the rare opportunity to not only know our patient--we get to know our patients' loved ones, too. I love it when a loved one wants to help and become involved in my patient's care. There are some instances when those who try so hard to help inadvertently create unusual situations that can be, well, non therapeutic. I have some favorites I'd like to share with you.
Oh, yes, we know them. The throngs of visitors, family members, and guests who flock to comfort our patients. This is just for fun. See if you can name some of our favorite guests.
The good Samaritan who brings your post-surgical NPO except ice patient some pungent tacos because the patient said he felt hungry. Patient eats three bites and begins vomiting epically. The visitor, big-eyed and instantly remorseful, tells you, "But he said he was getting really hungry and you guys weren't bringing him anything!" At least three places in the room, including the door, say "NPO x Ice". There will be Phenergan. Visitor bolts because of the smell and leaves the wrappers in the garbage.
The PCA pump spouse who watches the clock and pushes the PCA button every ten minutes, even if her husband is asleep. She tells me she doesn't want him to wake up in pain. Luckily, with the help of Narcan and some skilled critical assistance folks, the husband gets to see his wife's face again. No matter how many times you educate...
To my young patient's friend: I can see you care about your buddy's comfort and worry that we aren't giving him his choice dose of powerful narcotics. There are reasons. He is constipated, he is experiencing AMS, and a zillion other things. While it's kind of you to bring supplementary meds and slip them to your friend, it kind of messes up his breathing and living. Please don't visit again.
I like meeting my patient's relatives, but if I have already met 20 and answered the same 400 questions, I'm going to nicely ask you to start talking to my patient or to each other. Maybe bring a tape recorder when the doctor comes in if the patient agrees. I want you all on the same page.
Speaking of relatives, I know the hospital can be noisy, cold, annoying, and frightening. Should your facility permit, I have no problem with one of your relatives staying overnight. Just a foreword--the couches don't get any more comfortable, we will be coming in the room to do annoying procedures like vital signs and medication administration, the room will either be too hot or too cold, the patient down the hall may yell, there may not be 4 pillows readily available, and the TV does not have HBO. Plan accordingly.
We love kids. We just don't love it with young children decide to bounce on Grandpa and bust his stitches. Unfortunately, the care providers prefer that catheter bags, oxygen devices, JP drains, bed controls, suction canisters, computers, IV pumps/poles, and just about any cool thing be left to the appropriate hospital care provider. We hate to be a bummer. Oh yes, and the gloves. The gloves won't hurt you, but if you pull the entire box on the floor, it costs the hospital money and we don't want that.
Dear overzealous advocate for your sick loved one: I am proud of you for standing up for your friend/family member who isn't feeling 100%. I am happy to report complaints to my supervisor and if I can rectify the problem, by golly, I will. I can not help the shows on TV, the food, the lack of closet space, the consistency of the sheets, the brand of orange juice the hospital provides, the absence of a beauty salon, cafeteria hours, erratic doctor's rounds timing, or the size of your room. I will give you some paper to write those things down for my supervisor or let you talk with my charge nurse. I know I will get bad patient ratings for not correcting all these problems. Next time I will learn.
Please, guys. Don't ask me about labs. I want to tell you. I can't tell you. I'm sorry.
Shift change is a bad time to call about an update on patient condition. Try to call 2 hours before or two hours after shift change. If before shift change, the last shift nurse can give you the low-down. If you call a few hours after shift change, I will have a good handle on your loved one's status. Otherwise, it might be messy and I won't get a chance to thoroughly evaluate my patient.
If you are a visitor and if you curse, threaten, hit, or disturb my patient in any way, you will be leaving. Same goes for me and my colleagues. This is a place for healing.
Family drama is not conducive to healing. If grievances must be aired, please have quiet, non disruptive discussions. Screaming profanities is not therapeutic and everyone will be asked to leave.
I like help, don't get me wrong. But, uh, no matter how strong you are, certain patients require certain strategies to move about, pivot to the commode, whatever. The patient might wind up caught up in any number of tubing, fall, reopen a wound, etc. I like your go-getter attitude, but I'd prefer to help you get the hang of things. I like my patients unharmed.
We all make mistakes. Usually they are minor. It is painful, not fatal, if I accidentally blow an IV on MawMaw's floss veins. Don't call me names, don't assume I am just poking around for kicks. I'll get help if my technique fails. Twice is a good number before I ask another colleague.
I do love family stories, and I'd love to hear them all, but a floor nurse is on the go 24/7. I'm not ignoring you.
Please let the patient talk if he/she can.
There's generally a reason I ask patients' families to call me should something happen. Please don't unhook an IV, remove a mask, or any other 500 things without assistance. Some things could turn out bad.
Do not sneak alcohol to my patient.
Please do not paint my patient's nails, dye her hair, or otherwise alter her appearance unless it's been run by the doctor or me. The polish irritates other patients' lungs and dying hair is messy. No make-up... it's a no-no for surgeries. Please don't clip toenails, wax, or beautify without first checking with your nurse. Some hair styling tools may burn patients and hospital beds.
For those randy, lonely spouses missing their lover in the hospital: NO. Your time will come.
Visitors, never assume you know what's in a random cup.
No strippers. I don't know why I have to include this.
But I must say, on the whole, a good friend or family member helps brighten my patient's day. Please watch to see if my patient looks tired or in pain, because he/she may need a break. Your love, support, and comfort help beyond what I can do sometimes.
I especially like the family member who asks every single question with hostility, criticizes every little thing you do for their loved one, and pretty much talks to you like you are stupid and incompetent. This same family member proceeds to sit in the chair all night while refusing to lift a finger to do anything for the patient. Usually this same person even has the audacity to push the call light just so you can go in and raise the head of the bed 2 inches while they are sitting less than a foot away.
Apparently you didn't read most of the comments because many of them said that rules were explained and people continued to be obnoxious. Also, in case you missed it, many of the stories include items that go against general common sense and courtesy in a public place. If you plan on being a nurse, better learn to lighten up and find yourself a decent sense of humor as well!
I am particularly fond of the multiple wife syndrome. One woman comes to visit and both the pt and the wife agree that she's his wife. She leaves and his phone rings and viola, in walks his 2nd wife (girlfriend). The pt pulled this off for about 2-3 days then the wife and girlfriend accidentally met in his room. Security was called and the pt was treated for minor abrasions and contusions.
Before you judge, understand that we do have empathy, we have explained, some visitors will break the rules on purpose.
You'll remember this article once you've had to call security for you or your patients safety, had family members continue to come out of a c-diff room wearing their dirty gown and gloves and get on your phone, go into your other patient's room while you're placing a foley, or unhook your pts line with three vasopressors, that's now open lying on the floor, whole system contaminated, bc pt complained of having "too many cords".
OK, so I'm going to say this as nicely as possible, but you don't have a clue. When you have been in the real world, taking care of patients on a day to day basis, you'll understand the error of your ways. In truth, nurses ARE overworked. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. When you have to tell family members the same thing over and over again, and its the same information that they heard from the nurse before you, over and over again, there comes a point where you reach the end of your rope. I have been a nurse 20 years, and I have been able to understand and sympathize with every comment made by the other nurses that have posted. Nurses DO have compassion, we wouldn't do this job if we didn't. Nurses DO understand that family members are stressed, we have families too, with family members who have been hospitalized. Nurses DO have the right to judge a person's behavior, especially if it is going to interfere with OUR ability to take care of our patients, and make sure the doctors orders are carried out. Nurses DO have the right, to boot family members out of a room, if it is in the best interest of our patient to do so. So please, when you've been in the trenches, with pain in the butt family members who impede your ability to keep your patient safe, think about what you wrote now. I'm sure you'll understand how silly it sounds to those of us who do it every single day. Until then, perhaps save your holier than thou comments to yourself.
1. Get out of the bed. Your loved one can actually rest well sleeping alone for the night or two he/she spends with us. You're risking pulling out IVs, and you're making my job difficult.
2. No, I will not get you and your snotty kids a drink, a snack, or a popsicle. There's a cafeteria downstairs. Oh, it's closed? Must be time to take the kiddos home and feed them there.
3. Your baby girl will be fine, you can head home and sleep in your bed for the night. After all, she's 56, you're in your 90s and using a walker - I'm afraid you're going to fall (yes, seriously, for a lap appy!!)
4. I know you've been smoking in the bathroom. It stinks and the patient is unable to get out of bed. Yes, you're out of here. No, you can't stay.
5. This is my 2nd favorite "You won't believe what the patient's family did" story; The End Title CO2 monitor is annoying. We understand that. Please, for the love of God and the sake and life of your family member, do NOT either turn it off or worse yet, put it on yourself and 'pretend' to be the patient. (yep, patient's hubby got tired of it going off continually - as I did - and put it on, sleeping in the chair next to her).
6. STOP trying to feed or water your daddy/granddaddy/mommy/grandmommy who is DNR, on hospice, and has been unresponsive for the last 2 days. It's part of the process of death. We know it hurts - but really, making daddy choke to death on the ice you're spooning into his mouth isn't the way to let him go!
7. The wheelchairs by the doors to the hospital are for potential patients and for visitors who can't ambulate well. They are not for your teens and early 20s kids to race up and down the halls in. (and then they had the audacity to complain about me to the manager when I made them put the chairs back, explaining others may need them - yes, I was reprimanded - I was threatened with a day off without pay - threatened to talk to my lawyer and management dropped the matter)
I dislike this daughter/son/in-law-kids/priest/nosy passerby scenario "She/he looks uncomfortable when did you turn her last, has she had pericare/morphine/atropine/lorazepam/ice chips" as I am walking out of the room.
What I really want to say is this:" I'm walking out the door, so obviously I was just checking on them. They are actively dying. Don't be a helicopter"
What I really say is "Hi, I'm xxxx, I am the CNA/Med aid for pt tonight " then I find out if they are allowed to get health information from the chart and we go from there.
Typically, I know which family members to treat extra special.
blackvans1234
375 Posts
The "I'm a (current / retired) nurse so i'm going to make your life miserable by being rediculous" visitor.