Terrified!!!!!

[gesm9]

Hello,

I am on summer break and will start the 2nd semester of nursing school in August. I barely made it through the 1st semester. It is overwhelming to say the least. I started college in 2000 and was in an R.N. program in 2004. I did not make it. It took 3 years to get into another program. I am doing well academically. My worry, fear, and anxiety has turned into panic:bluecry1:. I have panic attacks and it started in clinicals and has carried into lecture:(. I have all kinds of physical symptoms, like, dizziness, light headedness, sweating, pounding heart, feeling like I am going to faint, frequent urgent urination. I have spent so much time crying and trying to control it. I am on break now but at times terrified of next semseter. I have always wanted to be a nurse. I have fought hard just to get to this point. I don't know what to do:imbar. I find myself being terrified of thinking of drawing blood, starting I.V.'s, giving meds, ect:cry:. I should mention that I am also a certified phlebotomist and have done over 100 draws. I have also worked as a medical assistant and given hundreds of injections. I don't know what happened to me. Once nursing school started the fear intensified and I couldn't draw blood, give shots, ect. I am stunned at this! I don't get it. I don't know what to do. In med-surg I found myself not even wanting to look into the patients rooms. I had to tell myself, "Okay this is ridiculous, they are patient's not flesh eating zombies." I cannot go on like this. Fear cannot rule. What do I do? Help?

[psalm, RN]

There's some good advice in this thread. However, why do you want to be a nurse if it causes you so much anxiety? Go to your physician for a check up and be honest about how you are feeling about clinicals and the crying.

Are you eating?

Are you getting enuff sleep?

Are you using drugs?

What did you do in the years before you took up nursing again? Was there the same feelings of dread during those years when you went to work? You mention being a medical assistant and a phlebotomist. Is the responsibility of being a nurse too much for you? Maybe you would be better in a support role, as you have before, as an MA or phlebotomist. No shame in that.

Is it the feeling of being judged for all your activities: the tests, the clinicals, the sim labs, the papers and reports, comparing yourself to other nursing students?

If after a visit to your physician things don't improve, maybe it would be better for you to either take a break or leave nursing. You can, and that does not mean you are a quitter, it means that nursing is not your niche.

[gesm9]

Thank you all for even taking the time to read and respond to my concern. I do have a problem with panic/anxiety. I was put on SSRI's but they didn't help. I don't like to be on meds. I appreciate all of your comments. I believe in GOD!!!!!!! I have believed for so long that he called me to be a nurse. Not for the money! To care for people and give of myself. I have a big heart and if it is not in use I am unhappy. I never knew all that nursing really entailed. But how could I? You never know till you actually get there! I am trying to pray and really rely on God! He has brought me this far. I have a book Light my Path for Nurses. Under FEAR is a quote, "How very little can be done when operating under the spirit of fear." Now guess my fellow nursing students who said it? None other than the mother of nursing MS. FLORENCE NIGHTENGALE. WOW! I know I need alot of support. Right now I am really trying to work on it with help from ALMIGHTY GOD!

[ERbunny]

I am very impressed by the care and concern expressed here, and it brought back memeories of my nervous student days. However, you have descrbed fears that go beyond the nervousness many posters have described here, and I think it only fair to yourself, and your patients if you have a counselling session with faculty. Be as open with them as you are here, perhaps even share this forum with them.

There are so very many ways to help others without being an RN, perhaps you should explore them, maybe with a pastor if you are a church member. As an afterthought, I am wondering about the hundreds of injections you gave. Was it nder a doctor's license? I think once you complete a pharm course you will understand my amazement that this goes on. I guess an unlicensed person doesn't have as much to lose, but still scary to me.

[gesm9]

Thank you all so much for your postings. To ER bunny and all the others wondering, I worked for an M.A. for 18 months. As an M.A. you operate under the license of the physician. I have given hundreds of I.M. injections, I have a license to draw blood and have over a hundred draws. I have always been a nervous to do injections and draw blood. I can't say that I like poking people. I don't want to inflict pain period. I try to be as gentle as possible. I worked in an urgent care clinic for the 18 months under E.R. physicians. I was always very careful and thank God never had any med errors. The anxiety hit an all time high once nursing school began. Terror set in and I was literally gripped with fear. To all those who are supportive THANK YOU so much. I know a few of the postings reccomend that nursing may not be for me. I often question myself. BUT, I will continue to pray to GOD and see were he leads me. I know that if I make it, it is by his hand. If I don't sure I'll cry and be hurt but as life goes on I am learning to trust him. I know that GOD knows what is best for me to do. I want to make it clear, I want to be the best and safest nurse possible. I have come such a long way and I know that there is so much more ahead. I am going to try really hard to enjoy the experience. I tell myself FAITH not fear, PEACE not panic, and ASSURANCE not anxiety.

[gesm9]

I agree I totally think the fear comes in takes a hold and does a death roll. I have a real problem with worry, fear, and anxiety. I am trying really hard to work it out. Thank you so much for your insight!