Terrible Start to the Semester... Torn Between Staying In The Program Or Not. Help!

[RomaH]

I am about to finish my pediatric/maternity rotation, and am scheduled to graduate in less than a year... But after this semester, I'm feeling really torn between staying in nursing, or switching to another health occupation.

The pediatric clinical rotation is what's really swaying me... It was a complete train wreck... Many students have had issues with my pediatric clinical instructor in the past, and being the only non-LPN in my clinical this semester, I feel like I was her target of choice for this rotation. On the second to last day of clinical, I was given a patient with a series of IV medications who was due to have a new IV line hung. I hadn't touched an IV set since my past clinical rotation, which was back in the spring, and so I told my instructor up front that I needed some assistance in setting up the line. Instead, she just rolled her eyes at me and stayed silent as I struggled trying to set the line up. I felt like such an idiot. At the end of the day, she wrote me out a referral to go back to the lab at the school to practice hanging an IV line (unfortunately, there are no true open lab sessions at my school, so your hands-on-experience is limited if you don't work in a hospital outside of school). I went to the lab, not knowing that my instructor had written an email to the lab instructor. The second I stepped through the door of the lab, the instructor began firing at me, going as far to tell me that I'm going to make a bad nurse and that I have an apparent attention-deficit issue, according to what was written to her by my lab instructor. Then as she pulled the IV pump over to have me practice hanging a new line, she turned to the assistant nurse in the lab, rolled her eyes, and LAUGHED. I was so shocked and hurt at how cruel she was acting, I couldn't even retaliate or defend myself. I left the lab in tears, and felt so humiliated.

To make matters worse, during our clinical evaluations on our last day, my instructor told me that she had several people in the nursing department tell her that she should give me a clinical failure (which I honestly don't believe, because I've had perfect reviews and evaluations from my past instructors). Regardless of whether she said it as an act of intimidation or not, it still made me feel like I was a terrible student, and it's been haunting me since.

I finished my pediatric rotation back in October, and have since moved on and completed my maternity rotation, which was a much better experience. However, I'm still haunted by how terrible my pediatric rotation went, to the point where I'm questioning whether or not I want to stay in the nursing program. I feel so embarrassed knowing that my clinical instructor and lab instructor both think I'm a terrible nursing student, and after what my pedi instructor said to me on the day of clinical, I can't help but wonder what the rest of the nursing faculty thinks of me. I've been considering switching to a different major, not because I don't like nursing, but because I don't feel comfortable staying in this program. I'm not sure what to do, but I need to make a decision before next semester... Any help would be appreciated!

[BostonFNP, APRN]

Sorry to hear you had such a rough time the good news is that you weathered the storm and next semester is a new clinical instructor and a blank slate.

If you are comfortable and confident in your skills then take any feedback as constructively as you can and press on. Remember, at the end of this, the only thing between you and licensure is a board exam, not this lab or clinical instructor.

Be humble but be confident. Best of luck.

[ChristineN, BSN, RN]

That sounds like a terrible experience and no one should have to go through anything like that. Do you know yet if you passed the peds portion? Assuming you did, will you have to interact with these instructors again? If you won't I would try to find it in yourself to finish the program.

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

Nurse Educator here - I'm actually OK with the initial actions taken... asking you to go back to the skills lab to increase your IV proficiency. And, I'm sorta OK with the instructor notifying the skills lab instructor so they would know exactly what you needed to do & provide you with the appropriate set up and assistance. BUT - everything from that point is definitely out of whack.

There is absolutely no excuse to treat anyone with disrespect - not ever. The idea that they were making disparaging remarks and (it would seem) trying to undermine your confidence . . . IMO was inexcusable. Too bad you didn't have a 'friendly' witness so you could make a formal complaint.

Unfortunately, some people in positions of power (including instructors, preceptors, any any sort of managers) seem to have forgotten what it means to be a beginner and this makes life so much more difficult for any learner who is unfortunate enough to be exposed to one of 'them'. I don't have much other insight, because I just can't understand why anyone would be deliberately nasty. I know it's very hard when you receive this type of feedback, but try to focus on the message - not the emotional overtones and snarkiness. And, someday when you are the one who is helping a beginner... please remember and be kind.