tears and more tears

[student200977]

I'm a new grad and have been on my own for almost 2 months now. I have been struggling with the adjustment, and hate work most of the time. I feel like some patients I have taken care of, went bad, because of something I did or didn't do. i had one patient who i admitted, but didn't take care of for 4 days that transferred to the icu??? could i have done something to prevent that four days earlier???? I had another patient who I took care of for 2 days that had to transfer to step down for a possible PE that the nurse I gave report to found a Sao2 of 88%. Did i not catch something???? I had another pt who's o2 was inthe 80s, called the doctor, got some orders to increase oxygen... reported to the next shift...come in the next day find out he went to icu for respiratory prob...i was devastated...what did i do wrong???? maybe i wasn't meant to be a nurse...

[Katie5]

I know how you feel... totally. Tomorrow night I start off on my own after close to 3 months of precepting. For the past week, I have been so teary and depressed and I constantly am telling myself, "I've picked the wrong field... I am so stupid, why did I choose this?... " I want to quit - period. But I can't because I don't want to disappoint anyone including myself. I am at the most miserable I have ever been, even my husband has noticed how miserable I am. To top it off, I hate the floor I'm on (the people are nice and I can ask many of them questions, but it's a cardiac step-down/tele/med surg unit) and I've decided this is totally not for me. I miss being able to see my friends and family (as I work nights) and I feel isolated and alone. Sometimes on my way to work, I think how great it would be to be in a little fender bender or something so that I don't have to go in (nothing that will kill me, just enough to not be able to go in that night). I have decided I need to call my PCP and try to get back on anti-depressants because of all of this. I feel your pain, but I read eveything on here and it starts to make feel better... a little... very little, lol!

Yo're just 27? Please take it easy on yourselff

[BmoreCRNP]

Don't feel bad. I'm sure many nurses here have experienced similar situations. I remember one time I gave report to the night nurse on a patient who she later discharged to the floor. I came to work the following day only to find out that this man had gone up to his room, coded while being transfered from the stretcher to the bed, and died!! Of course management had to investigate everything to see who they could blame (usually the nurse) but it turns out the patient had a clot that probably dislodged during the transfer. There's no way I could have predicted something like that! Especially since he had no signs or symptoms whatsoever.