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Topics About 'Adultitis'.

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  1. Adultitis is characterized by people, mostly adults who take themselves too seriously. While other adults may not notice this, children almost always pick up on this trait. Jason Kotecki, well-known author and humorist spoke about this illness with Mary Watts, BSN, RN, allnurses.com’s Content and Community Director at NTI 2019 in Orlando, Florida. Signs and Symptoms Mary asked about the signs and symptoms of this illness and Jason answered, “we have done research and over 93% of all adults have some type and kind of adultitis. He cited Oscar the Grouch as a good example of this disease. ” The average age of onset occurs once you get out of school and start work, have bills, get involved in different activities, and put your work before fun. It seems like it can be a genetic correlation too - if your parents have it, you are predisposed to it too.” Many times others notice it before the patient does, and they may make comments: “you need to smile more, don’t take things so seriously” and other similar statements. Sometimes you have to schedule downtime just like you schedule your work and business commitments. Take a Vacation For nurses, this is an important part of life. Most nurses are very serious at work. After all, our work involves human life. Many nurses at the luncheon talked about the amount of PTO that they had accumulated and how they felt they couldn’t use it. However, as Jason pointed out, once you decide to use it on a well-deserved vacation, the anticipation of the event can be even better sometimes than the actual event. Jason said, “it’s very important to have a happy place. Plan those times during the week and treat yourself.” Jason related that when his first child was born and he was sitting in a rocking chair with her and he suddenly felt anxious because “I wasn’t doing anything.” When he thought about it a second time though he realized it was a very important moment in his journey to curing adultitis. “Life shouldn’t always be so busy - we need to appreciate joy too.” Is There a Cure? There is no “magic cure” for adultitis - there are always highs and lows in life and it is super important to take time for fun. Advocate for fun with your family, your friends, and your co-workers. For instance, at this luncheon, we ate dessert first and as we all looked around at each other, we were uncomfortable doing this. As we enjoyed our dessert though, we started to smile and laugh and enjoy each other’s company. First, though we all looked at the dessert and asked each other if it was really OK to go ahead and enjoy it. (Many of us have adultitis). Time Passes By So Quickly Jason related, “this is the last Summer of my kids at that age, the time is passing by and it's important to appreciate your blessings and perspective.” Stress is a part of all of our lives but by being grateful we make happiness for ourselves.” He stated that his most important message was: “It sounds pretty cliche but we get caught up with what others do and think. We start trying to achieve what others have and if we started to be more mindful of US, the stress would be lessened.” He admitted that even he can be affected by adultitis - “sometimes I compare myself to other speakers and realize that I could achieve more if I was on the road more but I intentionally set a limit on appearances because my time with my family is so important. Accolades, letters after my name are not as important as my relationship with my family. Do you have adultitis? What’s your “happy place?” Watch the complete interview:
  2. jeastridge

    Perfect-o Meter

    The phone rang loudly besides me, it's electronic clanging disrupting the peaceful thoughts that floated through my mind as I enjoyed a first cup of morning coffee on the porch. "You forgot to enter a note on Mrs. S for Interdisciplinary Team Meeting this morning. Can you fix that by 8 a.m.? After quick "I'm sorries" and a few pleasantries, we hung up and I walked over to the computer. A few minutes later, task completed, I returned to my now-cool coffee and sat down only to hear the nurse in my head, the one with the "Perfect-o Meter" set on "10" wagging a scolding finger at me and singing that old song, "You're no good, you're no good, baby, you're no good." I shook my head to shoo her away and calmly addressed her accusation with reality: I am a wonderful nurse, experienced and caring. Yes, I make mistakes. But I keep moving forward." After the imaginary conversation was over, I tried to return to my morning meditation time, holding the re-heated cup of coffee to warm my chilly hands, enjoying the day off. But I couldn't stop thinking about the small omission and the drive to perfection. How do we cope with "the perfect nurse" of our imagination? Even harder, how do we cope with the real life nurse-sometimes our managers or co-workers-who really do seem to have it all together, never make mistakes, and have their Perfect-o Meters set on a steady "10"? First, a pause for consideration. The truth is no one is perfect. All of us are humans and do make mistakes of omission and of commission. Mistakes of omission, like mine, can be either unimportant in the scheme of things or more serious. Depending on the type of work we do, we can all supply examples. Simply forgetting to do something, to chart something, to add something, can have unintended consequences. On the other hand, omissions can also involve leaving work for the next shift or careless management of our time so that we are unable to complete the work before us. Whether it is a mistake of omission or commission-doing something that is not exactly right-we are often left discouraged with ourselves, processing the same event over and over, wishing we could fix it. Unfortunately, when this happens we tend to mentally compare ourselves with others. So how do we deal with our own Perfect-o Meter's setting and also deal with others? Mistakes are one thing,but there is also the general day-to-day nursing where someone whose meter is set on high can make us feel inadequate-even when we are doing a good job. Or the other side of that-if our meter is set higher we can feel critical of other nurses' efforts and try to do too much because we feel no one else does it as well as we do. Either approach can be defeating and leave us burnt out and sad. One way to begin to cope with this is simple acceptance of who we are and how we are made. Now this doesn't mean excusing ourselves for our bad behaviors, "Oh, I just blow up like that." or "I can't help it if I am slow." There are always things in our inner make-up that we need to work to improve; but there is a great deal of beauty in acknowledging that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made" and that is not just a description of physical bodies but also our personalities and dispositions. A car with a full tank doesn't run better than a car with a half a tank. They both run just fine. The amount of gas that propels them forward is irrelevant to the ultimate arrival at their destination. We all have natural Perfect-o Meters. While one is set on a high "10", another nurse, also an excellent clinician may be set at a more casual "7.5." This doesn't mean that the 7.5 person is less or more. They simply are. Sometimes we go around disliking ourselves so much that we have little left to offer our patients and our co-workers. Or on the other hand, we exercise little tolerance for those who don't operate quite as efficiently as we do, thereby transmitting that critical vibe that makes others uncomfortable and undermines good working relationships. So what to do here? First, we learn to love who we are as we are. Let's turn off the mental recordings that sing the "You're no good" song and tell those voices to back off. Instead, we work to find voices of affirmation and encouragement to fill our heart and soul. We try to avoid the toxic people when possible in favor of those who express love and acceptance toward others and who recognize their own worth, no matter where their particular meter is set. When we are full to the brim with quiet confidence, we can make allowances for ourselves and for others. Wherever we are on the Perfect-o Meter, we are good!