Hi all, I am having a mental health crisis and had to take a few weeks off work to stabilize, and feel I'm not able to accurately evaluate the seriousness of situations in my current state. I changed jobs 9 months ago and had trouble finding a psychiatrist with my new insurance, and ran out of my meds for bipolar 1. After a few days off meds I felt disoriented and experienced trouble focusing, even some visual hallucinations.
These symptoms became increasingly worse yesterday during a busy shift with short staffing. A pre-op nurse asked me to give 5000 units heparin SQ and show her how because she hadn't given a sub q since nursing school. I have given heparin hundreds of times. But I felt so out of it, I could barely figure out how to draw it up. I used a 1ml syringe that didn't have a leur lock instead of a 3ml leur lock syringe. When I gave the injection some of the heparin went in but then the syringe disconnected from the needle and the rest spilled onto the bed! The other nurse saw it but didn't say anything. The OR team was rushing her so they could bring the pt in. I told my charge nurse and she said I didn't need to tell the surgeon.
Apparently the pt had no history of blood clots but had once had a weird phlebitis of a vein in his hand that resolved on its own, all labs for a clotting disorder negative. She said anesthesia didn't think he needed heparin but surgeon did. I wanted to let the surgeon know but I was being called back to PACU because another patient was getting up unassisted and another coming out of OR with no nurse available. By the time those things were settled the heparin patient was in the OR. The rest of the shift I could barely function because I was sick with anxiety on top of my bipolar symptoms. I finished the shift but avoided giving any meds. Today I went to the ER and got my meds plus time off to find a psychiatrist. Do you think I am horrible for not telling the surgeon? I am seriously considering resigning even if I'm able to re-stabilize on medication. I don't want to be a danger to patients or become someone who doesn't own up to my mistakes. Thank you so much for reading this long post.
