Sunday March 26 2023

Tweety, BSN, RN · Mar 26, 2023

Good morning!

Joe has me wondering if I would go to my aunts funeral. Sadly we haven't seen each other in maybe 40 years. We keep up on FB. She's much younger than my father and in her upper 70's and in decent health. She lives in Alabama and is a conservative Christian and voted for Trump. I have absolutely nothing in common with her or her children, my cousins. But she's always been kind to me.

Ado, lovely pictures. I really enjoyed my visit to the Grand Canyon, but being cold-phobic I went in the Summer of 2021.

As I said Stars, you husband likes those pills along with drinking. Maybe he's drinking less, but as evidenced by the fall it's not a good combo. Hope he sleeps well and wakes up more clear headed and reasonable. Many lost causes have found recovery. Recovery though is tough. Not only is there the physical part of it, there's the anxiety, depression, insomnia and loneliness that follows. Sad thing is the brain and monkey on the back says it's easier to keep drinking. Pretty insane. "Normal" people can't relate to that. My heart goes out to you both.

Yesterday was a dud of a day. I never made the lentil soup and missed yoga. Hope to do better today.

Have a great day.

Editorial Team / Admin · Mar 26, 2023

Good morning all!

Tweety, you make a lot of sense, re: Mr. Stars. Hopefully to day you will make it to yoga and make that lentil soup.

Joe, sounds like a nice memorial.

Ado, loved the photos!

I had my small piece of toast and egg this morning. Fruit is strawberries, and I'm indulging by dipping the slices into a coconut whip. It is yummy! Later dh and I will get ready for the afternoon wedding, which is about 40 min away. At least we won't be out late, as the event is supposed to end around 9:30.

It's another sunny day here, temp will reach 65. Snow looks so nice on the mountains. Mammoth Mountain and the Sierras are posed to break the all-time snowfall record, SOON. They only have an inch or so to go (and that is predicted in the next day or so). Am not looking forward to where all that moisture is going to go when it melts... Hopefully it will be a slow melt. I read one source predicts skiing at Mammoth Mountain through July!

Have a good day!

No Stars In My Eyes · Mar 26, 2023

Soooooooo, after the 3 Ativan and the 1 Xanax, hubby claims to have only slept "about twelve minutes, at best." Says he has trouble breathing, but "it doesn't work" to make a stack of pillows to lean against, to raise his head. Says he breathes better if he sits on the side of the bed, wrapped in a comforter, drowsing and waking in time to keep himself from pitching forwards. He does wear his 02 cannula all night, but it sometimes gets kinked, or it slides sideways so it is blowing on his cheek.

I wonder if the doc would put him in a psych hospital? He is depressed for sure. He wouldn't be able to get any booze there.

He really does not want to quit drinking, because if he did, it would be done already. Nothing seems to give him any relief. I think what he really would like would be if they put him in the hospital or rehab,and, like a friend of his had to have done,....be heavily sedated for a week or more, to give his body a chance to clean out, without having to use his mind. I gues I woked on his friend, I don't know. But I think even after a spell of that, he would still want to seek a buzz and a half, one that can 'knock him out' so he can sleep. But that's not sleep, really; it is time-out from real life, and does not solve a damn thing, except use up time.

His doctor's follow-up appt is tomorrow at 11:30 AM. I guess he'll be nervous and 'dreading' the appt, as he usually does, so will not sleep tonight either. Maybe he could be entered into a sleep-study. Yuh. Uh-huh. They would tell him he can't sleep because of the booze.

Just seems to me there's nothing left to it, but to do it. But I am not an addicted person (at least I don't think I am!) I'm one of the ones who wants to get the worst over with ASAP, like "Tell me the BAD news first". Like when lining up in grade school to get our shots, I would always ask to get my shot first.

-----------------------------------

A patient of mine, a retired Army colonel, used to tell his complaining kids/grand-kids---------"Life is tough. Get a helmet." Reckon I'd better go to a Military store that sells old and used Army clothes and equipment....and get my helmet and start wearing it!

No Stars In My Eyes · Mar 26, 2023

PS:, Yes, dianah, Tweety makes a lot of sense about "Mr Stars". Tweety is kind of my 'touchstone' through this whole business, and his words and outlook help me very much. (tank-yew tweety ?)

nursej22, MSN, RN · Mar 26, 2023

Brr, it got frosty last night, but the sun is finally peeking through. Tomorrow is supposed to be sunny and warm. Youngest ds and I went for a hike yesterday. We climbed to a lovely little lake, past a waterfall and some fresh snow. Per my phone, we went 2.5 miles and gained 850 ft. We picked up pizza to bring home for dinner. I was tired ! But still didn't sleep well. Today, I am catching up on laundry and vacuuming. Dh is immersed in college basketball. I suppose I really should the assigned reading for class.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Mar 26, 2023

Awesome pics J22!

I'm glad I make some sense. Wish it wasn't so close to me. I see my sister struggle and I saw my now deceased ex and many others in meetings struggle with it. I myself have struggled with it. When I was in inpatient detox they used phenobarbital to manage withdrawals but no one was heavily sedated. One day Mr. Stars will be sick and tired of being sick and tired and hopefully will get it.

Last November I passed 26 years without alcohol or an illegal drug. Don't know why I've been so blessed but I'm thankful. Can't imagine that I'd be alive and well today had I kept down that road.

nursej22, MSN, RN · Mar 26, 2023

Tweety, you absolutely make sense. I suspect that Mr. Stars may have other problems that is clouding his judgment and insight about drinking, such as encephalopathy and/or organic brain disease.

I too, fail to understand why his PCP keeps attempting to detox with benzos. I think he did better on the vivitrol.

No Stars In My Eyes · Mar 27, 2023

Yeah, I tried a lot of drugs when I was in my 20's, and I am fortunate that I didn't "get hooked" on anything. I got SICK from some of it (like getting really dizzy and vomiting, etc.) and that made it very easy to say "NO" to. Though I used to joke, back in the Nancy Reagan days: "My problem is that I can't find any drugs to say 'no' to." But it isn't really funny, to be dependent on, or craving, anything like that. I am thankful, also, that I am not even tempted.

Anyway, I am very blessed, and I pray Hubby can find his center again, somehow, someday.

Maybe he should go to a psychiatrist who uses mescaline therapy? That might, as we say in the South, "jerk a knot in his tail."

I asked him what time he wants to get up tomorrow, if his doc's appt is at 11:30 AM. He said, "I thought my appt was on Thursday." ....Nope, it is tomorrow. He immediately went up to his room and got into bed. Poor feller.