I’m in my 1st semester of a RN diploma program. I just can’t seem to do well in clinicals. I can do the 8.5hr lectures, I can study 4-6hrs a day, I can do all the skills in lab, I’ve even learned to survive on 4hrs of sleep a night, but I suck at clinicals. I get on the floor and I’m so nervous I think I could almost puke. I was so confident of myself before I went into this but then I met my clinical instructor. She has this thing w/ my age. She goes on these 5-10min lectures to my whole clinical group about how “19 and 20yr olds aren’t mature enough or responsible enough to be nurses” and about how my generation “has everything handed to them and they still are a bunch of screw-ups.” She is constantly singling me out in my group. It doesn’t help that the other students in my group are a good 7-10+ years older than me and I’m one of the younger ones in the entire program. I thought she might leave me alone after I could answer her questions and prove myself. But I can’t seem to prove myself on the floor. I can answer all the theory questions, but I can’t interact w/ patients. I get in the room w/ them and I feel like I’m ready to throw-up everywhere. I get so nervous and anxious w/ them. I have no previous health care experiences at all, but I’ve been working in food service since I was 16 so I know how to talk w/ strangers. I’m used to meeting people and talking w/ them, but patients are different. I’m on the oncology floor and something happens when I walk in there. The patients look like they’re in so much pain and anguish and I stand there and feel so helpless. I can’t answer any of their questions…not even the simple ones. I can’t make them hurt less and I can’t find a way to relate to them. I am so nervous with them and I don’t know why. I’ve tried to calm myself down, all the deep breathing exercises and count to ten things, but it doesn’t work. I fumble around w/ my stethoscope and try to hear their blood pressures, but I just end up messing it up because I’m so nervous. It doesn’t make any sense because I’m usually bubbly and upbeat w/ strangers. My clinical instructor doesn’t help me at all. She just yells at me for everything I do. Yesterday I asked her for help because I couldn’t hear a BP and she told me “You’re not a competent student nurse, therefore, I’ll have to fail you because you can’t perform simple tasks.” I just learned how to do BPs on Thursday. I feel like I’m sinking horribly in clinicals. I’ve worked so hard to get into this program and I’ve already sacrificed more than I thought I ever would to be here. But I honestly don’t see how I’ll make it the rest of the semester in clinical. I got into nursing because I’ve wanted to work in the NICU since I can remember, but now I’m wondering if I’ve made another huge mistake. Maybe she was right…maybe I am too young to be a good nurse…maybe I can’t handle it. But now I need some help figuring out if I can ever be a good RN or if I should let go of this before I get even deeper over my head…
I can't imagine being in med/surg or oncology or cardiology for my first clinical - is this something that a lot of schools do? Maybe someone can provide me with some insight on this
ldh:
I don't know about a lot of schools, but I know that our group's clinicals are in a med/oncology unit for first semester....it is a lot to take in!! My first patient ended up passing about 90 minutes after we started working with her...we didn't get to do much in the way of vitals, BP, or anything else...we have our 2nd week of clinical assignments this week and each of us is petrified!! We decided to go as a group to go pick up our patient assignments as we don't even have the confidence to do that!!
I am 50 and feel much as the OP....I feel like I should have all of these skills down pat, but know that I am nowhere near competent with them...I passed BP checkoff, but it was close and I was told I'd better not goof it up in clinical or the tester would be in trouble and I'd be back in the lab!! OHMIGOSH....there's no way *I* would guarantee I've got BPs right!! I feel I'm just in the "close" range right now...and since I haven't had a patient (for very long anyway) since we did assessments, I'm not sure if I remember everything to do and in what order!! Then of course, we've moved on to meds and injections and our next round of written tests, etc., etc....it's kinda' crazy-making for someone that has a bit of the perfectionist tendency!! I feel like my brain's about to explode some days!!
:selfbonk: ARGH!!
To the OP -- hang in there....sometimes it seems age discrimination runs to the older folks when you get this age; it's very sad to hear that someone's not giving you your chance at this due to your age!!
Of course you suck at clinicals. You're in the first semester and you're 19! Your instructor should be cutting you slack because of your age, not busting your b***s about it. Sickness, death, misery -- its a lot for someone of any age to handle and you seem to be doing pretty well, actually. (I tried to volunteer at an Alzheimer's ward when I was 19 and lasted 1/2 an hour!) Your instructor sounds like a nightmare. Grin and bare it. I'm sure you're doing fine. And remember, this too shall pass.
Specializes in Psych, Home health/Hospice, Neuro-Trauma.
Just thought I would put my two sense in about that battalax. First of all you are in your first semester, everybody is just as frightened as you are (and don't kid yourself into thinking that they are not). I am currently in my third semester of nursing school and am still holding on for dear life! My clinical instructor for the first semester was this incredibley mean and hateful women that didn't like anything about me, and quite a few other students. Her main job was to make each and every clinical experience totally 100% frightening and make people want to quit or cry whichever came first. It was a personal power trip for her because she got satisfaction out of making people shrivel in her presence. Use this to your advantage (just like I did). There were a few people that quite because of her intimidation and scare tactics. THEY ARE TRYING TO WEED PEOPLE OUT! They want to make sure that you have the guts to stick it out no matter what sort of crap you go through. This particular women may just have it out for you, however once you get past this semester, it will only build your confidence that you survived these horrible times. I look back now and thank god that I did'nt walk out because of somebody that was trying to beat me down. What is your alternative? Alrighty then. Best of luck
Nothing more to add here honey. Just know I feel for you big time and can totally relate. I still feel clumsy and question my choice, even in third semester! Keep plugging on!!:icon_hug: The fact that you are only 19 and are even in such a difficult program is a testament to your abilities!
I agree with daytonite. I am 32 and just getting into the game just the same as you are. By the time I have 20 years of experience I will be thinking about retiring and probably be on oxygen therapy, :wink2: . You are going to make it through. Just remember that when you are an RN and you get new students on your floor that you need to remember how you felt this semester. I am sure you wont forget. Keep pushing forward and dont let this "Nurse Ratchet" instructor get between you and your dream. The profession needs people like you.
In my LPN class there were a couple of 20 year olds who were already working as CNAs and they were mighty impressive. It is a shame your clinical instructor is not supportive because that could be the entire reason you get so flustered. I'd also try to find another instructor to mentor you through this first experience. I believe the instructor can make or break our clinical experiences. If you feel that nursing just isn't for you that is fine but please don't let one unsupportive person make up your mind for you. Let us know how you are making out. Jules
I'm pre-nursing, but when I was in the hospital for two weeks when I gave birth to my daughter, I had a number of nursing students come in and they always acted like they were so afraid. I always said, "Look sweetie, everyone has to start somewhere." I always let them know what a good job they were doing and also let them know that it was GREAT that they were getting into the profession so young.
WDWpixieRN, RN
2,237 Posts
ldh:
I don't know about a lot of schools, but I know that our group's clinicals are in a med/oncology unit for first semester....it is a lot to take in!! My first patient ended up passing about 90 minutes after we started working with her...we didn't get to do much in the way of vitals, BP, or anything else...we have our 2nd week of clinical assignments this week and each of us is petrified!! We decided to go as a group to go pick up our patient assignments as we don't even have the confidence to do that!!
I am 50 and feel much as the OP....I feel like I should have all of these skills down pat, but know that I am nowhere near competent with them...I passed BP checkoff, but it was close and I was told I'd better not goof it up in clinical or the tester would be in trouble and I'd be back in the lab!! OHMIGOSH....there's no way *I* would guarantee I've got BPs right!! I feel I'm just in the "close" range right now...and since I haven't had a patient (for very long anyway) since we did assessments, I'm not sure if I remember everything to do and in what order!! Then of course, we've moved on to meds and injections and our next round of written tests, etc., etc....it's kinda' crazy-making for someone that has a bit of the perfectionist tendency!! I feel like my brain's about to explode some days!!
:selfbonk: ARGH!!
To the OP -- hang in there....sometimes it seems age discrimination runs to the older folks when you get this age; it's very sad to hear that someone's not giving you your chance at this due to your age!!
Best wishes!! :kiss