Student Nurse feeling beaten down

[nursejackjack]

Hi There,

Basically ill skip right to it. At the moment i am completing an entry course in Nursing which is what is acting as my platform to access and start the full degree in September. (It has essentially the same structure as the first year nursing degree)

Nursing is so important to me, I'm sure there is many here that will read over this and feel the same i do. Caring is built into my nature i love talking with people, always have. I am fascinated by all of the sciences and spend my time researching, reading etc.

I have worked so hard to secure a wide variety of work placements in order to strengthen my university application and also gain a valuable insight into hands on nursing. I have worked in public health, day hospitals, palliative care, theatre (c-section) and finally A+E and Resus. All this before i have even started my degree! (yes i stayed up for hours at night sending email after email, letter after letter). I loved every minute of it, especially A+E. I saw everything from deaths in resus to births in theatre, breaks to bleeds, tears to smiles. I have learned so much about myself and so much about the patients. I was so lucky on every level to experience what i did. Although i was supernumerary i still had received training in recording vitals etc etc so I was also able to care for the people i met even though i was simply a student. One man who came into triage while i was alone was crying with shaking terribly with withdrawals saying he was a disappointment and that he was trying everything to remain sober asked me if i thought he was a failure. "Would you believe i have two children".

I told him that he was fighting it and that is something to be proud of, and placed my hand on his knee. Although still visibly upset, I could see him smile lightly in relief knowing somebody understood. I have experiences i can take with me and i am proud of myself for being able to provide even just 5 second of relief to someone in pain.

The reason i am writing this post is that i recently just finished my final placement within a nursing home. While there (only for a week) i was paired with a senior nurse who consistently belittled me and asked me to complete tasks in which i did not feel confident. I though my job was to be confident and consistent in my care? I cant and i wont harm someone physically or emotionally if i dont feel 100% confident in my care.

I was asked to clip the nails of an aggressive elderly patient who swung for me repeatedly, i spoke to the nurse and told her i was not trained on how to deal with aggressive patients and that i could harm her or myself when trying to clip her nails. I got an abrupt answer while she sent another nurse off to do the deed. Finally she asked me to get a patient out of bed, wash her, and dress her on my own. Now as a grown man, and as i am new to the unit, and as the lady in question was recently brought in due to the progression of her Alzheimers although she was in the early stages I was aware of her fear. I asked to be accompanied by her to ensure everything was done correctly. She then asked another student who has less experience than me to go in and change her, a job in which she has not had training in no more than myself. She spent an hour alone dressing the lady. An hour. And im thinking is the patient cold? Is she struggling to get her clothes on? Is the patient afraid? And i am made feel worthless and uncaring by trying to ensure the best possible care.

It doesnt even stop here. I was asked to feed a patient to which i agreed happily, the lady in question was visably upset, began to cry halfway though her meal and i stopped to wipe the tears from under her eyes, hold her hand and comfort her. This lady was in her late 80's confined to an cushioned chair on wheels and couldnt move her ams and legs due to severe arthritis. The nurse told me to continue feeding her regardless even though the patient said "this is cruel". I refused to feed her and i was backed up by a few of the nurses which angered the staff nurse incredibly. I completely understand the need for patients to eat, especially the elderly, but force feeding? Really?

My head is all over the place, the stable decision i had to enter nursing has been shook slightly at the foundations and i am unsure if cracks are beginning to show. Are there any experienced qualified nurses who can me understand this?

I hope you can see how devoted and proud i am to be entering this profession,

I worry about the ********** of nursing sometimes.

Thank you

Jack

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

Welcome!

Are you in the US?

[nursejackjack]

Thank you!

No Ireland

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

I am having a hard time following. You are currently about to begin a nursing program of study. However, prior to this you obtained volunteer positions or you were hired as a nurse assistant--I am not sure how you found yourself in clinical positions. In any event, one should not be asked to do something that they are not oriented to. It has the potential to cause patient harm.

I am sort of following that you are working in long term care. You oriented to each floor/hall/wing. The final wing you oriented to was not a good fit for you. Please know that just by essence of the fact you are a male, you will more than likely find yourself with the more aggressive patients.

I don't think many aides would be one with cutting any resident's nails. And I am not sure that is in the scope of an aide in some areas. Filing is an option. Feeding is also a tricky thing. When a resident is done eating they are done eating. Use conversation if the patient is verbal. "More?" And be sure that you are mindful that if half the food is coming out of the mouth, chances are the resident doesn't like it very much. The dressing and such of patients is part of your job. You may ask to shadow a couple of times to get the jist of how to make it work, however, that is something that is expected that you do as part of that job.

One of the things you could observe as an aside is how this type of work can assist you going forward as far as assessing a patient, what skin is supposed to look like, any changes, as well as any changes in function or mental status. This can really help you in your studies. As well as setting professional boundaries. All important things.

Best wishes going forward and remember, every experience you have you can turn into a positive and have it assist you in meeting your goals.

[nursejackjack]

Thank you very much for your comment. I appreciate all constructive feedback. I think you are right when you referred to long term care possibly not being a good fit for me, i don't think it is for me.

I completed my placement essentially as a first year student nurse although i am not one(tricky to understand i know!). The course i am doing at the moment follows the structure of the first year of the nursing degree. It is an entry route.

Thank you again for your comment and your valuable advice i take it completely on board.

[kalycat, BSN, RN]

I recently graduated and passed boards here in the US. Our first term rotation involved extensive clinicals at a nursing home. I did not have good experiences there....in fact, they bordered on awful; many students in my cohort felt the same. Stick it out, though. I absolutely loved the rest of my rotations and had fabulous experiences...the nurses and mentors I was assigned to were awesome. Just pass the class and push through....the good thing about rotations is that they're not forever; there are better things ahead!! Luck to you. :)

[nursejackjack]

Phew, It is such a breath of fresh air to get a nice positive response from a new grad! Its weird as a student because when your working in a career that has so many different areas once you start working in one of the areas that is literally the only area you can see, complete tunnel vision... So its so nice to get comments that tell me how it is and that its normal. Im sure many people are rolling their eyes to my very amateur view on nursing but thank you very much for taking the time to comment. Its IS nice to know that not all nurses become emotionally void once they begin work. Thank you

[nursejackjack]

Phew, It is such a breath of fresh air to get a nice positive response from a new grad! Its weird as a student because when your working in a career that has so many different areas once you start working in one of the areas that is literally the only area you can see, complete tunnel vision... So its so nice to get comments that tell me how it is and that its normal. Im sure many people are rolling their eyes to my very amateur view on nursing but thank you very much for taking the time to comment. Its IS nice to know that not all nurses become emotionally void once they begin work. Thank you!

[kalycat, BSN, RN]

You're most welcome!! Long term care/skilled nursing sure is a tough specialty, and I admire the nurses who can do it and do it well. And while I appreciate the experience and the skills I gained now that I can look back, when I was in it, I had just the tunnel vision of which you speak!! I am so glad that someone outside nursing encouraged me to continue.... Because I too thought I had made a terrible mistake, especially because I am a career changer. Just try to keep your eye on the big picture and be conscientious when dealing with those tough preceptors, and before you know it, you're on the other side. And I really do mean it when I say I loved all my other clinicals. They were a challenge, but of the best kind. You've got this!! :)

[firstinfamily, RN]

I really feel you are being railroaded by the professional staff. You should have training in feeding patients so that you know what to do if they start to choke, and yes, if the pt is done eating, they are done eating, most of the elderly only eat about one full meal daily. Perhaps supplements would be helpful or small, more frequent meals instead of three big meals. Also, if you are a male and dressing females you should have someone with you, to protect you from being accused of abuse etc. I have seen it happen time and time again with male aides, so either have a female co-worker with you or dress the males by yourself. You should have more supportive preceptors, but alas, often preceptors look at precepting a new nurse as another "thing added to their already over-loaded day". Offer to help at some point and time, something they may need help with; instead of waiting for them to tell you what to do. Once you feel more comfortable and have worked out your schedule of when to do things you will feel better. It is very hard to develop a routine when you are being told what to do all the time. Always ask questions and don't feel the other staff are riding you all the time, they just have high expectations!! Good luck!!

[nursejackjack]

Another very interesting view! As i was saying about the tunnel vision it is difficult to think about things from the perspective of the preceptor... but the comment above does help and i think you are definitely correct in saying the issue of their large ever growing workload and the responsibility of another student nurse on the floor will of course lead to snippy responses. It is difficult to offer to help when you are not feeling confident in your practice so i do agree with you on having more supportive preceptors. Thank you for your advice and offering your different viewpoints. Its incredibly valuable to me. Thanks again!

Jack