Struggling (very long)

[Penny82]

I graduated on March 10th and started working April 5th. I went through 8 days of orientation. My facility has 4 halls so I got one day on each hall for each shift I'm working (days and evenings). I immediately started working on my own after I finished orientation. I've only worked 4 shifts. I'm having such a hard time. The work load is just so hard and overwhelming. I haven't been taking my breaks in order to get everything done. The other night I didn't get to use the bathroom or get a drink, let alone eat until I was on my way out the door. I've been ready to throw in the white towel several times.

On top of just being overwhelmed, I've had trouble with a couple of the other CNAs. Instead of being helpful or at least nice to me, they've been nasty. The aid that was floating Monday pretty much yelled at me the entire night. This is also happened the second shift I worked with a completely different aid. It's like they don't realize that it's going to take a new person a while to get the hang of things and to get to know all of the residents. There 108 to know since I'm on call and work on all of the different floors. They had me orienting a new person two when I've only worked a few shifts on my own. They said it's because I was so busy, that she could help. They just didn't want to do it because the person orienting generally slows you down. It was completely inappropriate for me to be doing that being so new.

I worked on the Alzheimer's unit for the first time the other day. It was a disaster. I was yelled at by the other aid my entire shift. The residents were more confused/agitated because of Sundowner's than usual. I was verbally abused by several of them all night. I know it's not their fault, but it's still hard being called nasty names for over 8 hrs. I also had to residents fall. There's absolutely nothing that I could have done to prevent the falls. The nurse told me as much, but I still feel completely and utterly awful. I haven't slept well since.

I work my first day shift tomorrow, which is generally more work and I'm already dreading it. I can ask for more orientation, which I might do, but other than that I don't know what's going to help aside from time. The problem with needing time to adjust are that the other aids aren't willing to give it to me. I'm applying to BSN programs right now, which is a big reason why I'm doing this. I need the experience for my applications. I keep trying to tell myself I can at least stick it out until I start school, but I'm really not sure I'm strong enough. I guess I just need someone who has been in my spot to tell me it's going to get better. If any of you have any tips for saving time. I feel like everything is taking too long to do hence my problem with taking breaks. Thanks so much in advance. --Penny

[fuzzywuzzy, CNA]

One thing that you can do is write down everything that bothers you about your job. Then shove it in a drawer and don't look at it for a month. After the month is up, read it again. If things still haven't gotten any better, give yourself permission to quit. But chances are you will see how much easier everything is. In the meantime when you come home nearly in tears or grinding your teeth down from stress, you'll have some comfort in knowing that letter is there at the end of the month.

As you can see from this thread, what you're experiencing is almost universal for new CNAs. You hardly EVER see someone come off their training, get done on time, never screw up, etc. Usually if that happens it's because another newish CNA who remembers what it was like was looking out for you. I try to be that CNA.

[CoffeemateCNA]

One thing that you can do is write down everything that bothers you about your job. Then shove it. . .

Before I finished reading that sentence, I thought you were going to say somewhere completely different. Like up a mean, terrible, rude, horrible, lazy, no-good, hateful, very bad coworker's you-know-what.

I was disappointed that it said "drawer."

[MassED, BSN, RN]

It sounds awful what you're going through... but as I was half-way through my nursing program, I worked at a NH/ rehab. I had 10 patients to get up out of bed (each of them), clean, dress, bathe, feed, etc. No fun. Not at all. I would leave on a break and walk so hard that I would drip in sweat, just to get the smell off of me and to get out of that place for 25 minutes! No one ever helped. Rarely did I (or will I now) find a nursing assistant that is helpful. Sometimes you have to figure out how to go it alone. That may mean that some things are pushed back to later, if they can wait. Being a nursing assistant is HARD HARD work. Don't expect anyone to be nice. They're probably just as exhausted as you are and want someone to pick up their slack and help them out. It's not fair, but, unfortunately it's a reality. Don't, though, pick up or move someone and risk hurting yourself - if no one can help you, then do the best you can without hurting YOU. Good luck.

[Intern67]

This sounds VERY familiar. If you want to keep working there, just keep doing the best you can.

I used to feel exactly the same way you do about "needing more time." (I never took scheduled breaks either during my tour in LTC.) It took me a while to realize that I wasn't going any slower than anyone else - everyone else just wasn't doing their jobs. They were "fast" because they were negligent.

You are in the beginning stages of your nursing practice, and you are responsible for that practice so take pride in your hard work. If you are lucky, the nurses will notice your diligence and give you some support. So keep doing your job as best you can, seek out supportive co-workers and do NOT let the abusive and lazy ones affect you.

Seriously, when they yell at you or otherwise abuse you, either smile a little or show no response. If they threaten to report you, smile and demand they do it in writing and tell them you will be happy to document your side (they really hate this). No matter what crap they pull (and they will pull some crap) you are responsible for your own emotions.

The upside of this is that you will learn a lot and you will develop valuable skills and experience to get you out of that stinking situation.

Good luck!

[krissy_mack]

you can always let the nurse know that you need help. they should be willing to help you out. how a eyou doing now at the job??

[eveningsky339, LPN]

I was the same way. One of my coworkers even got in my face and scoffed at me. Here's the gist: "Give it a week. Your big happy smile will disappear and you will begin to hate the job AND the residents just like the rest of us."

Ugh, that's an awful thing to say. I swear it seems like some of my co-workers are determined to sink every ship that they're on, but even the worst of them would never say that they hate the residents.

There have been many times when I've been irritated or even downright angry with residents. I recall one time where a dementia resident was slapping my arm and calling me names when I was trying to change her. After five minutes of trying to calm her down, I threw up my hands and left. I informed my co-worker and the charge nurse and we decided to leave her for next rounds.

So, two hours later I went in, still irate, and the first thing I saw was the picture on her nightstand. It was a picture of her smiling big and standing next to a barn. I could hardly recognize her because she looked so healthy. Later, waiting for day shift to come on the floor, I heard the charge nurse talking about someone who used to be babysat by this resident. They came in to visit a few days ago and couldn't believe it was her, because she was so different before she came into a nursing home. I felt like a real orifice after that one.

Even the worst residents are not bad or mean people. They are mentally ill or demented and they've lost all power over their lives. They can't walk, feed themselves, hold an intelligent conversation, maintain bowel and bladder control, or even wipe their own butts. They've reverted to being infants, though they have the experience of adults. I wouldn't mind slapping a few CNAs if I were in that situation.

[CoffeemateCNA]

It's so easy to forget that our residents have a lifetime's worth of history.

I once had a very, very mean lady. Hit, spit, kicked, cussed, the whole nine yards.

So I asked about her.

Turns out her former husband shot her in the head three times. The part of her brain that controlled inhibitions was irreparably damaged.

Never complained about her after that.