stressed out

[mobaby]

I have or had, not sure any more, a great job. I have been managing a very large caseload of disability cases, was given the additional responsibility of training three new nurses, and then was placed on four new projects that my manager gave me. This, because she needs an 'energetic person' to get it all done. I went to her and my immediate supervisor and told them numerous times that it was too much, I can't do it all - was told that they didn't have a choice and went over why each nurse couldn't do it. Asked me for my suggestions on how to handle such work - I couldn't give any answers since I was so overloaded and stressed out. Anyway, had my review which was satisfactory, however was told that my behavior in the last two months was unprofessional and unbusiness-like. When I stated to my manager to look at what was being given to me in the last two months, she stated "I cannot take full responsibility for that". I lost it, have been crying to no end, can't get out of bed - was placed on meds within the last two months to handle the stress. Now in counseling - out of work right now. Any advice or suggestions. I desperately need some input from you guys. I am out of control with emotions right now. Thanks.

[Bridget O'Malley]

satchmo,

I'm sending good Karma your way right now. It sounds as though it was good for you to get out of that job, although being unemployed brings its own problems.

Do you have any short term goals for now?

[mobaby]

First, I am getting my head back together and my confidence. I feel like I was totally unappreciated and treated inhumane - when you are producing and producing at such a high speed everyday, then to be told that your behavior was unprofessional when I have tried to be professional by admitting I cannot do it all, I am in school for my case management cert. and eventually will finish my BSN (8 classes to go)_but that is its own stress. Right now I am feeling so deeply depressed that it takes all I have to walk to dog. I have never been like this before, and it is quite frightening to not have control of your feelings. I have a follow up with MD and counselor next week and see what they say. Thanks for your response. It is quite lonely when you feel like this.

[Halinja, BSN, RN]

((((Satchmo))))

Depression IS scary. It is treatable, though, and that's a good thing. Sounds like you're taking the right steps, seeing the MD and a counselor. Keep on walking the dog, things will get better.

[fultzymom]

So sorry that things went this way for you. Sounds like you had a lot to deal with. What I did not understand was why they could not understand why you would be so stressed. They put a lot on you. One person can only take so much and then you are going to lose it. I am glad that you have included your doctor and a counselor in your plans for now. I have recently been through alot myself et I am glad that you recognize the importance of getting yourself well et taken care of. Good luck in all that you do in the future.

Leslie

[mobaby]

Thanks for all your replies. I am sitting here crying reading them because I feel nobody understands. My friends are great support but they are not nurses, and my husband just says "relax, let it go". He doesn't get it. Anyway, again thanks for your support. I know I am doing the right thing - by the way - I had received a letter from my boss asking if I was returning to work, and I spoke to our 'hr' person (small office) cried my eyes out to her and told her I left message for boss to call me. I received an email stating that 'boss' does not plan on returning my call, just wants to know if I have plans to return, or did I quit? She has such a 'big' heart:(

[pmbrn22]

Hang in there. And I DO understand. Your body and mind are trying to deal with all the pent up stress you have endured over the last few months. It is only natural. It's your body telling you that you need a break. Try and not let a job define who you are. Yes, you are a nurse, but you are a person, and you were/are still a good person of worth also, before this job. This sometimes happens in the work force. (It has happened to me). They find a dedicated worker, and they feel they can pile work on that person. UIntil it's just too much. Then don't listen when that person speaks up.

Concentrate on yourself right now. Finish school, and give yourself a break. Be kind to yourself. There must be something better out there for you.

[mobaby]

Again, thank you so much for your supportive statements. I know I am a good, dedicated and much too loyal nurse. I am very outspoken and my boss has acknowledged that time after time in a joking manner. I stand up for what I believe in, whether right or wrong, but now I am being penalized for being that way. I cannot change who I am, just learn how to deal with it and move forward. It is just very hard to learn to relax when you are used to running at 200%. I feel like I ran into a brick wall and for the life of me, can't get up right now. I know nurses always take care of everyone else first, and that part of my personality needs to redirect itself towards myself right now. AT least my husband is very supportive (still doesn't understand but is supportive) and my heart really goes out to all of you who are responding to me. It really helps to hear from others that I am not alone in this feeling. Thanks again so much. YOu can't imagine how much your words are helping me:)

[jjjoy, LPN]

I hate when our superiors put us down for behaviors that are in fact more professional than they. I'd agree with you that it IS professional to tell them that what they are asking is too much - and not just agreeing to what is given with full knowledge that it won't be done or at least won't be done well. After all, when everything isn't done in a few months' time, you want to make sure that the same supervisors aren't telling you "Well, you should've told us THEN that this was too much." Sure, some employees will gripe about any additional work and will drag their feet and will always say it can't be done because they're comfortable with the status quo. Clearly, this isn't you. Yet they treat your perfectly reasonable and professional feedback as a crime. I know for me, this makes me THEN act very UNprofessional. I want to cry and force them to listen to me and make them admit they're being unreasonable. My gut reaction is to either accept their judgement that I'm not being professional (and drive myself to depression futilely trying to meet their crazy and ever changing demands) or to blow up at them so they can see what TRULY unprofessional behavior is! Uck! That's my experience with that type of management. I'd think it would be best to keep an eye out for other work environments where you'd be happier.

[mobaby]

I was also admonished for crying when another nurse quit two weeks before. She told that my behavior was totally unprofessional and unbusiness like and she cannot have that type of behavior in her office. My stress level has been at such an all time high that when my friend quit, I did cry because she was awesome to work with, and was my "Rock". I had left my boss a message the other day asking her to call me back to discuss this whole situation and I just received a certified letter stating that there is no need for any further discussion but to respond if I am planning on returning to work. I am shaking so hard I can barely type. Stress is a horrible thing to go through - I did my god's honest best with her company, made her a ton of money in the process, and now get shot down for being human.

I just feel like I will never find a job that I love again - I really loved my job, just not the pressures, I am not sure that nursing is even for me anymore. A pat on the back saying you did a great job goes a long way, and it seems like nurses never get that -

[jjjoy, LPN]

It sounds like the break up of a bad relationship. It hurts because there are truly good things that will be missed and there's the lost hope of everything you imagined this relationship/job could and would be. Nonetheless, the reality is that it will never be all that you hoped it could and would be. The delivery of that letter sounds like the serving of divorce papers. Impersonal papers and legalese signifying a very emotional shift. Cry, mourn, move on. You'll be better without that relationship/job holding you down.

[palestine nurse]

that good