Stressed out... Any foreign nurse working under OPT out there...

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I am stressed.... so I just want to vent... I just wonder if anyone is in the same situation. May be you can give me some advice.

I am a "foreign" US-educated BSN new grad working under OPT in MSICU in east-coast USA. As a new grad, starting real world nursing is a bit overwhelming. Starting in ICU internship with no prior ICU experience during school can add a bit more stress due to higher expectation on skills and performance from hospital. Moreover, as a foreign citizen, most of us on this post probably know that my VISA depends on my employment. I will also have to pay over $3,000 myself to immigration lawyer for paperwork and fee. I have no contract based on my immigration issue but I have contract based on critical care intern. As you know, I have to keep the job to keep my VISA and get $3000 worth. For US nurses, if they don't like the job or the hospital don't need them, they can just switch job... but I can't.. it is also more difficult to find a new job due to sponsorship issue.

On top of this, I am a non-native speaker of English. I speak 2 languages in addition to English. I am frustrated that I have to switch languages between the times at home and at the hospital and when hanging out with friends...who don't we all just speak English... I speak fluent English with good accent accents in COMPARISON with most people from my country whose language is totally from English. However, I do have problem. It is intimidating to work around ICU staffs who speak PERFECT English with marvelous accent. Most nurses are either native speaker or Filipino nurses with good English. Moreover, since English is not my native language, the details about patient care tends to fall out of my brain easier than the native-speaking counterparts... although I understand English very well....

Oh... finally, I passed NCLEX but FAILED very difficult PBDS assessment** test (anyway, most new grads have to retake it). I am very angry. I have to retake the test in 3 months at the end of probationary period. And you know I SHOULD be able to pass. There is NO study guide for it... Let me know if anyone know study guide for this test...I don't know what hospitals will do to those who don't pass 2nd time...

Almost every night before going to work, I can't help being anxious... On my day-off, I try to read and study about nursing and can't help thinking about job... It is not merely a job to me... >$3,000, visa, and my career goals depends on it.... I like nursing in many ways because it really change my personality and teachs me so many things... I like my current job...and I can't afford to lose it...

Most of my non-nursing friends don't understand why I still have to spend time studying since I no longer go to school. nevertheless, by far thing goes well... I got the job I want with good working environment, good starting pay... Just need to look toward the future and do my best...

Sorry for long posting.... I feel better now....

** PS... PBDS tests are administered at some hospitals to new hires for the purpose of screening people.... "Some" but not all hospitals do hire and fire based on the result of this test. Here are the related posts about this test https://allnurses.com/forums/showthread.php?p=902940

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This happens to any foreign nurse coming to the US, and not just US-trained.

Even the American nurses find that there is so much information thrown at them, and many do sign a two year contract for the ICU training, and they have to fulfill that agreement as well.

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Hi,

It is tough to be a new grade in ICU -- no question about that. I think a lot of people settle in after a while but you have to learn ! I guess your perceptor-nurse (correct word??) helps you, so ask, ask ,ask. Everyone gets stressed out in the beginning, that is normal! Give yourself more time.

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