Stolen Body Parts......Happens Daily

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were

stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on. While it was an "urban

legend," this one is not. It's happening every day.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night of August 3rd a few

years ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke

up with someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked

oatmeal. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been

wholly, if imperfectly, mine for years. Whose thighs were these? What

happened to mine?

I spent the entire summer looking for them. I searched, in vain, at

pools and beaches, anywhere I might find female limbs exposed. I became

obsessed. I had nightmares filled with cellulite and flesh that turns to

bumps in the night. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living

out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose.

Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My butt

was next. I knew it was the same gang because they took pains to match

my new rear end (although badly attached at least three inches lower

than the original) to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. Now my

rear complimented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long

skirts would stay in fashion.

It was 2 years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One

morning while fixing my hair, I watched, horrified but fascinated, as

the flesh of my upper arms swung to and for with the motion of the

hairbrush. This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced,

cleverly and fiendishly, one section at a time.

Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age was supposed to creep up,

unnoticed something like maturity.

NO, I was being attacked, repeatedly and without warning.

In the end, in deepening despair, I gave up my T-shirts. What could

they do to me next? My eyes began to remind people that they needed a

new pair of Hush Puppies. My poor neck disappeared more quickly than the

Thanksgiving turkey it now reminded me of.

That's why I've decided to tell my story; I can't take on the medical

profession by myself. Women of America, wake up and smell the coffee!

That isn't really "plastic" those surgeons are using.

You know where they're getting those replacement parts, don't you? The

next time you suspect someone has had a face "lifted," look again! Was

it lifted from you?

Are those your eyelids on that movie star? I think I finally may have

found my thighs...and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a really good

price for them!

This is happening to women in every town every night. Warn all your

friends.

P.S. I feel much better knowing this is happening, I thought I was just

getting old! I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my

breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone, as I sprang from my bed

I was relieved to see that they were just hiding in my pajama bottoms.

After reading this, I will keep them hidden in my waistband.

CHEERZ:D

Fran

[sbenning5]

LOL!! I think the same thing has happened to my rear!

[twistedpupchaser]

What do you think our chances of "stealing" some good parts ourselves? I could realy do with some new knees....