Hi, I just graduated from my nursing program in August, this is a second degree for me. I was a social worker in my previous life. I loved being a social worker, but got paid crap, which lead me to go for a nursing degree instead of a master's in social work. Anyways, I started working in a big hospital on an ICU. I'm doing a critical care internship, that includes the ECCO program (an online program that goes over critical care components.) I completed my independent clinical in school on the unit and really liked it b/c I had a really awesome preceptor (who unfortunately went to a peds unit the week after I was done my clinical). I really feel like I did not have a good experience in school, and I am very nervous about doing something wrong, so I ask a lot of questions. I am working with a preceptor until February. But these people are such ******* about everything (I can't say all of them are, there are some good ones, but we get rotated through so many of them). I get attitudes when I ask questions, I get told to look everything out (which in certain situations, this would be appropriate, but if it is something I can look up, I will, but if I could learn everything out of a book/online, I wouldn't need a preceptor). I have gotten major attitude from 2 different preceptors about not taking 2 patients (our unit assignments are 1-2 patients, and I just don't feel comfortable doing 2 patients yet, with trying to learn everything I am of course slower and really don't want to lose my license because I'm trying to rush through things.) And some of the nurses are so mean to the patients (this upsets me to begin with, but also my grandmother died at this hospital a few years ago and I think this upsets me even more b/c I think if they treated her like that.) So I am convinced that ppl get out of nursing b/c of the ****** co-workers, not b/c of the job itself. And I am just so fed up with it, I don't won't to do it anymore. I am nowhere near knowing things I need to know, and when I don't have ppl who will teach me anything, how am I suppose to learn? I chose a big hospital for the reason that I could move around, but I worked as a CNA in previous life too (prior to social work) and the nurses were the same way then, so I switched from nursing to social work. I went to a magnet hospital thinking I was going somewhere good but I don't know. And the worse thing is that I'm in a contract to work on a critical care unit within the system until March 2010. (I'm seriously considering care management. I thought I should get some RN experience prior to doing it, but I really wish I could do it now). So i just needed to vent and if anyone could share some thoughts I would really appreciate it.
I am exactly in the same boat as you are but my year commitment is up 4/28. I dread every second thinking of going to work... and I am always thinking about it every second even when I am off. I'm so depressed. I only came to the realization maybe 2 months ago that critical care nursing is probably not for me. The only way I got through this year was telling myself that I am a new nurse... these or normal feelings... but now that almost a year has gone by, I feel like I am in a worse position than when I started. I completely lack any sort of confidence in myself. CCU is just too stressful. I like stress, but not this kind of stress. I am no longer the happy, bubbly person that I used to be. I used to love nursing when I was an LPN in an ambulatory setting... now I am just sad and confused. I am glad you found your niche is case management. I am just trying to find mine. I am scared of experiencing this all over again, but on the other hand, I look forward to finding a job that I could possibly love. I don't know where to even start.
I hear you awshh. I am trying to find a place where I will be happy too. I enjoy the work I currently do now, but the working conditions/workload make the stress consistently too high.
It is depressing the amount of crying that is done by multiple staff during work. I had the same experience of so many people crying because of stress during my last hospital job. I'm beginning to feel like its every hospital where the working conditions are poor.
I too thought I hated nursing. I realize that it is just I hate where I work. I am a float, just off orientation. The floor I hate floating to is med surg. This floor is just plain brutal. I cry everytime I have to go to that floor. The nurses are generally nice there. I just want to get my experience then I will seek out a job that I know I will love. I love the patients although like anywhere some are difficult personality wise. Then again that comes with any job you have that deals with the public! I just have to make it there 4 more months, then I am out. I try not to let it discourage me. I chose this job because I wanna help people. I just Have to find my niche, then I will be set!
The nurses make a huge difference on each floor. The psych and cdu nurses are by far the nicest and helpful nurses. That is not to say some of the med/surg nurses aren't helpful. I guess the floor in general is just a little frustrating. It's very much clique based, the am nurses give the pm nurses a hard time about the littlest things, I just find it all very frustrating. Hopefully as I can more experience, I can learn to ignore it and not take it personal.
awshh3
11 Posts
I am exactly in the same boat as you are but my year commitment is up 4/28. I dread every second thinking of going to work... and I am always thinking about it every second even when I am off. I'm so depressed. I only came to the realization maybe 2 months ago that critical care nursing is probably not for me. The only way I got through this year was telling myself that I am a new nurse... these or normal feelings... but now that almost a year has gone by, I feel like I am in a worse position than when I started. I completely lack any sort of confidence in myself. CCU is just too stressful. I like stress, but not this kind of stress. I am no longer the happy, bubbly person that I used to be. I used to love nursing when I was an LPN in an ambulatory setting... now I am just sad and confused. I am glad you found your niche is case management. I am just trying to find mine. I am scared of experiencing this all over again, but on the other hand, I look forward to finding a job that I could possibly love. I don't know where to even start.