Speciality change, again??

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I have been an L & D RN for about 9 months. Prior to that I had been a post op RN on a busy in-patient floor. And hated it. One, because of patient population/understaffing. Two, my anxiety was awful. I’d cry going to work and often cry leaving work 2 hours late sometimes. Then I got my dream job in L and D or so I thought. I thought my anxiety would get under control after now being an RN for over >2 years and being in my favorite speciality. I know it takes time to get use to this. But my quality of life has been affected, my relationships and happiness. I cannot shake the anxiety of going to work. The night before and day of I’m so nervous and irritable towards my family. If it’s a calm day at work, it’s eases a bit but I feel like I’m constantly terrified of what’s next and on edge for the whole 12 hour shift.
I’ve had a few months off of L&D on light duty because of injury but working in a sedentary desk RN job with very minimal stress (but boring). My moods/anxiety at home have been a lot better! So I guess my question is- if my heart isn’t 100% should I be looking for an office job or something, more predictable and less acutely anxiety provoking for after I am cleared? Not mention, a less physically demanding job. I feel like so many people just love love LD nursing. I've been told I am doing well as an LD RN and I get along with my co-workers, but I’m not sure if it’s worth my mental health to keep pushing along to this point. I know if I leave this position, the opportunity to get hired back is very minimal which makes it even more risky. Not to mention, I have never had a M-F normal hours job which would also be a big change.
Thoughts?

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I'd suggest another possibility - consider getting some support and work on your anxiety. Anxiety can be really responsive to therapy and behavioral strategies, improving even within a few weeks... whatever job you end up in, you can take those strategies with you. And you'll feel better!

Not saying this is a purely personal problem. Hospitals could be, and used to be, less brutal places to work. It shouldn't be the way it is. There's a reason why so many nurses have anxiety problems! But it's more practical in the short term to change what's in your control, so you can enjoy your life more. Also, you will make better career decisions coming from a place of security and calmness. If you're operating in escape mode, it's easy to jump from bad work to worse.

Good luck! You'll figure something out.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
On 3/18/2019 at 8:53 PM, RN_EKM17 said:

I have been an L & D RN for about 9 months. Prior to that I had been a post op RN on a busy in-patient floor. And hated it. One, because of patient population/understaffing. Two, my anxiety was awful. I’d cry going to work and often cry leaving work 2 hours late sometimes. Then I got my dream job in L and D or so I thought. I thought my anxiety would get under control after now being an RN for over >2 years and being in my favorite speciality. I know it takes time to get use to this. But my quality of life has been affected, my relationships and happiness. I cannot shake the anxiety of going to work. The night before and day of I’m so nervous and irritable towards my family. If it’s a calm day at work, it’s eases a bit but I feel like I’m constantly terrified of what’s next and on edge for the whole 12 hour shift.
I’ve had a few months off of L&D on light duty because of injury but working in a sedentary desk RN job with very minimal stress (but boring). My moods/anxiety at home have been a lot better! So I guess my question is- if my heart isn’t 100% should I be looking for an office job or something, more predictable and less acutely anxiety provoking for after I am cleared? Not mention, a less physically demanding job. I feel like so many people just love love LD nursing. I've been told I am doing well as an LD RN and I get along with my co-workers, but I’m not sure if it’s worth my mental health to keep pushing along to this point. I know if I leave this position, the opportunity to get hired back is very minimal which makes it even more risky. Not to mention, I have never had a M-F normal hours job which would also be a big change.
Thoughts?

If your anxiety is this much of an issue, perhaps some counseling would help. Being nervous, irritable and afraid at work is a common issue among new grads or nurses changing specialties. After two years, it seems, though, that you should be getting over that. Try counseling before you blow up your career.

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Hi,

I think you have already answered your question. You have less anxiety at this desk job. It doesnt make you cry or stay late and does not adversely affect your relationships.

Youre hanging on to the L&D job out of fear. Fear that you may not be able to come back if the next job isnt what you want. Fear about "other people" who enjoy this specialty (so you should too). Fear about letting down yourself or those who say you're doing well in L&D. Fear about changing to 9 to 5.

Dont let the fear hold you in the position that your mind and body are telling you is wrong. You dont get medals for staying in a job and suffering.

Trust your gut.

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19 hours ago, TAKOO01 said:

Dont let the fear hold you in the position that your mind and body are telling you is wrong. You dont get medals for staying in a job and suffering.

Trust your gut.

THIS! I still think getting some support for your anxiety is a good idea, but TAKOO01 has given you even better advice. Many of us in nursing sort of have this mindset (that suffering is somehow noble or required at work)....even though it's not helpful, or true.

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