So now I have to accept being screamed at by Admin because I am "less than"..

[StillRN]

So this happened today...

i was running my butt off doing a million things - my morning Med pass took 4-5 hours (ridiculous) as I'm strutting back from contingency to get Lovenox for a newly found DVT (kind of important) I was stopped by my facility Administrator - who was standing in the middle of the hall, waiting for me, holding a blue bin full of Med cards from discharged patients - no narcs.

Him: (in a very hostile and angry voice) Do you know what I am doing?

me: what am I doing??

Him: NO! What am I doing?!

me: um... standing there holding a bin of meds..??

Him: AND WHERE DID I GET THESE MEDS?

me: umm.... I have no idea

Him: I'll tell you where [storms off to Med room-I follow] Right here! There was a GARBAGE CAN propping open the Med room!!! There was NO ONE ANYWHERE AROUND THE NURSES STATION And I just circled the floor THREE TIMES WITH THIS BIN AND THERE WAS NO ONE TO BE FOUND!!!!!

me: oh, well I had to go get important meds and I didn't do that

Him: Well YOU are only 1 of 2 people with the keys

me: um, I let someone use them but I forgot who (was the manager) but I didn't do that

Him: [slamming the bin back in the Med room] THIS IS AN I-J offense, do you know how bad that is? That's a 60,000$ fine! I've been involved with I-J's before and this is really bad, It's only you or the other nurse or whoever you gave the keys too...I'm about to have a heart attack right now (as he slams the offending garbage can down)

me: well don't have a heart attack, lol (( thinking I don't give a F... about fines.. it's not coming out of my pocket and if u have a heart attack I'm not giving u CPR))

Him: This could be a 60-120,000 fine this CAN NOT HAPPEN ... blah blah blah (I tuned him out)

me: well ok, but it wasn't me.

he then stormed off.

So first of all.. I've NEVER EVER EVER seen State just browse into any place for the hell of it to look for violations (unless it's your facilities expected time)

second..he just stopped me and screamed at me like I'm a child, even after telling him I didn't do it, and prevented me from attending to my patient with a serious condition.

Third, he's quite effeminate and his reaction was so ridiculous I likely had a smirk on my face because I wanted to laugh BUT.... in hindsight... I played innocent and stupid (later found out the other nurse did it) instead of calling him out for his inappropriate response and yelling at me like a child. I realized that I didn't stand up for myself because I don't feel I have the right too.

I am a POS junkie on a contract who is lucky to even have a job I prefer not to have. I can't risk losing my job because I have no other options. He likely knows that. So I had to keep my mouth shut and accept the abuse.

It it makes me very angry that I am now considered so low on the spectrum of life forms in the nursing world, that I have to allow people to treat me like sh!t.... because I am lucky to be employed in the first place.

How am I supposed to become "rehabilitated" after my sentence when all I am allowed to feel is anxious, inferior, and not worthy of being treated with respect? But I guess I deserve it.. right?!

Just another nail in the coffin of my former love of nursing!

[Recovering_RN]

I totally get the feeling of NEEDING the job, and hating that feeling! I used to feel so superior, I had recruiters contacting me all the time, I had coworkers who'd moved on to other hospitals contacting me asking me to come work there...I always knew I could get any job I wanted! I switched from full time to PRN as soon after my internship ended as I was allowed to in the ER, and my sense of freedom increased. I could float to the ERs in any of the hospitals in the system where I worked, so if I disliked a manager or a coworker or MD, or just didn't like the processes, or heck if I didn't like their cafeteria!! I could work at a different hospital, there were always available shifts. It was freedom! And I loved it.

Now, we don't have that freedom, like at all. We can't just leave the job we hate, it took forever, and a lot of humiliating interviews and rejections, just to get it. We have to put in the time wherever we are, at least to get the minimum required work time in that our program requires, just to be able to complete the monitoring, but usually we need to keep it throughout the monitoring cuz we know we may not be able to get another one. For me, I can't do PRN anymore either, since after my divorce I lost my health insurance that was through my now ex husband's work, and I need the money of working full time to pay for my rent, my own health insurance and my two sons' health insurance, and my half of their college tuition, fees, books, their apartments and living expenses. So I've totally lost any tiny bit of freedom in my employment, which I believe is a big reason that lately I've started really disliking my job!

So yeah, it sucks, you can't really stand up for yourself without risking consequences. Some people may say you can, call a meeting with HR and that manager, but really, all we want, and NEED to do, is to stay under the radar. You put yourself on his black list for getting HR involved, or really for even making a stand against his unprofessional conduct, and you'll just find yourself in trouble later on for some other unrelated reason. I've seen it happen, if management wants you gone they will find reasons.

On a semi positive note, your concern that you just stood there and let him berate you and didn't feel like you could stand up for yourself because of your ex addict label may or may not be true. I think that given his mood and anger, there's really no way you could've made him see that he was being unreasonable and unprofessional. Regardless of who you are, monitoring contract or not, he wouldn't have taken any criticism or back talk well, and you, or anyone he'd come across in that mood, would've probably just gotten yourself into trouble by trying.

I'm sorry this happened to you. This too shall pass.

[SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN]

I am sorry this happened to you. Yet another babbling, idiot nurse. It's amazing how they always seen to find the one nurse who can't or won't fight back and dump crap on them. I get minimal BS like that but I have a government job and am active in my union. I have the luxury of torturing people who would be dumb enough to talk to me like that. I wish I could lend that privilege to you that would allow you to chew off a piece of his ear. Hang in there!!!

[middleagednurse]

We have ALL been there. Take a deep breath.

[Have Nurse, ADN, RN]

Sounds too as though the Manager needs her own keys.