Single Moms

brittany_micah · Aug 3, 2009

First of all, I think it's going to be extremely hard! But if this is what you really want to do, I think you can do it! I've shared my story before on a few different threads, but I'll share it again. I have two small children, 10 months old and 4 yrs old. I am married, but my husband works 3rd shift in Law Enforcement and has a part time job and court during the day. I was a single mom before we got married and this feels the exact same. I have no help from him beyond financially (which I feel blessed to have, but it is still hard.) I also don't have any help from my family. I'm pretty much on my own. Are you wanting to go part time or full time for your pre-req's?

I've gone part time, never taken more than 9 hrs a semester. I actually started my 1st semester last Aug and had my son in Sept. I was in the hospital bed recovering from a c-section, doing homework. All of the nurses made fun of me. They had all remembered being there at some point or another. Anyways- it's going to be hard, if it was easy everyone would do it. But I think if you sit down and talk to your children and everyone is in agreement to help around the house you will be fine. There will prob be many nights where sandwiches are for dinner and that's okay. But if you really really want this...dont take No for an answer.

hopefulabby · Aug 3, 2009

I'm working on my pre-reqs for nursing school. I have a two year old and a nine month old. I'm not a single mom but money is really tight for us too. Have you looked into federal aid and grants? I'm currently filling out my FAFSA. Good luck to you!

chae1975 · Aug 3, 2009

Don't give up! I am a single mother of a 8 year old girl. I am returning to school to become nurse. Life is a challenge and in the long run you will be proud of yourself. This will be my 3rd degree. I went to school part-time and while working full-time. With no assistance from my daughter's father, (meaning no child support). I was able to comeplete my bachelor degree. You can do it girl>>>>>>>>>>>> :yeah: :yeah: :yeah:

2ndLife · Aug 3, 2009

I've been a teacher so I know what you mean about the L-O-O-N-N-G hours. Everyone thinks that your day is done at 3:00 p.m. but I can't tell you how late at night I worked on lesson plans and figuring out what to do with high school biology students who couldn't read above the 3rd grade level. If you managed to get through the first year of teaching as a single mother, I believe you can get through nursing school. Having said that, I haven't gone through nursing school yet so I guess you have to take what I say with that in mind. But I've been a single parent for over 16 years (my oldest is 17.5 years old) and it's been a struggle financially the entire time. I've only had short periods of unemployment but it's still been a struggle. Kids are expensive!!

However, if you are good at organizing and managing your money, I think you can do it. I think I've mastered the art of feeding my family on the least amount of money possible and being able to get good, nutritious food on the table quickly. I do a combination of food shopping through Angel Food Networks, Aldi and Super Walmart. I found a number of meals that my boys liked and I'd schedule a time (usually on the weekend) where I would pre-cook and do advanced preparation of meals. I never could get down the Once-A-Month cooking deal, but I do manage to do things like brown ground beef to use in dishes and separate into individual meals. I chop onions and green peppers and freeze them for quick use in things like tacos, pizza, sloppy joes, etc. I tear lettuce and make my own salad mixture so that I don't have to pay $3 for a bag of pre-mixed salad. I mix up meat loaf and I cook 2 at a time and freeze the second one to use later. I use my crock pot A LOT! Nothing like working your patootie off all day and coming home to dinner nearly being done. Even though I'm almost an empty nester, I still do these things. It would be easy to grab some fast food or convenience food and say "well, I'm just cooking for one" but even that adds up to big bucks that I'd rather not spend on food.

Your children are old enough to have daily and weekly chores to help you out. They may grouse about it but even if you weren't going to nursing school, they should help you out. My 17 year old does the majority of the daily house cleaning. He washes his own clothes and puts them away. He's expected to get his own breakfast (he gets up later than me) and his own lunch. I'll cook dinner but he has to do the dishes. That way on the weekend, I only have to give the house a quick deeper clean and not spend my time picking up or scrubbing like crazy.

Check into every possible scholarship and grant there is out there. I have found that a lot of people don't apply because they don't want to take the time. Find the time and I bet you'll find money. I know that one of my biggest challenges when my kids were the age of yours was that I just couldn't do a lot of the things they wanted to do or give them what they wanted to have. Instead of saying "we can't afford it," I told them that this wasn't the way I wanted to spend my (our) money. They understand way more than we give them credit for. And when they see you trying to accomplish a dream and make a better life financially, professionally and emotionally, they get it. You'll have to be creative in finding ways to find the time and funds to have fun with them. Red Box movies are inexpensive and they offer codes for getting free movies on some weeknights. Freecycle is a good way to find things that you need without having to spend a penny.

I think if you want this and it's the right thing for you, you'll be able to find ways to make it work with time and money management. If you ever want to share ideas of cutting the budget and finding 36 hours in a 24 hour day, feel free to email me. :)

BabyCatchr, ADN, ASN, RN · Aug 4, 2009

Thank you so much everyone for your positive and encouraging replies! You all have really fought for what you have and it is motivating. 2ndLife, I am doing the same things that you mention. My mom went through her RN at 40 after we were out of the house, and she said the same thing you did - if I could get through that first year teaching I could do nursing school too. It is so great to know you have been a teacher too and seen what all is involved! The class time is only 1/2 the job, and is the easy part. It's the stuff after school all night that eats at you and takes up all your time. Nothing too hard, but oh so time consuming and monotonous, especially entering 600 grades per week in the gradebook, then again into the computer. We will live on lots of sandwiches and I am teaching the kids to make eggs, french toast, and grilled cheese. I have not even read all your post yet, I am so excited, so I will go back and do that. I need 3 prereqs: A&P I & II and Microbiology and I will do them part time until I start full time RN next year. It's frustrating to know I have been in school for over 20 years now and can use none of my degrees or certifications and must start over! I was a loan officer and got laid off from that as well. It's really hard to be socially isolated due to work/school, and also due to finances because I have to tell people I can't go to restaurants. Although I have found that if we order 1 meal between the 3 of us, we can still have leftovers for lunch the next day!

BabyCatchr, ADN, ASN, RN · Aug 4, 2009

Ok, finished 2ndLife's post. It helps to hear I am not the only one being so frugal. We even turn off the upstairs air conditioner and all stay downstairs to save money (have to sleep in the same bed too! Good thing it is a king, but I get kicked in the ribs!) The kids have to take care of their own dishes and laundry, clean toilets, vacuum, and take out the trash. I cook, do floors, and pretty much everything else. I will stop telling them, "...because we can't afford it," and start telling them more positive things. I am going to look into grants, and my parents have offered to help with what is not covered. I just have to get money for living expenses. Do grants cover that? Would student loans cover living expenses, and then would a new employer pay off my loan?

vivi25 · Aug 5, 2009

I can understand you mothers. Im a mother of four..(10, 4, 3, 2,).... I also have very little time for anythng. Many times I wonder if I was crazy to want to do this. However, Things do get easier. Somethings that i do is I cook extra food during the weekend and freeze it, so that way all i have to do warm it up.. I make sure that my kids are feed, showerd, and in bed by 7:30, on a late night 8pm.. this gives me a little more time to myself...Always try to plan ahead. I also dont have any family nor finacial support but I manage. Lots of prayer and i always try to keep my head up... Dont give ladys:redbeathe

BabyCatchr, ADN, ASN, RN · Aug 5, 2009

I don't know how you do it, vivi25! Who watches your little ones? And if you don't mind my asking, how are you able to pay for their care?

I can understand you mothers. Im a mother of four..(10, 4, 3, 2,).... I also have very little time for anythng. Many times I wonder if I was crazy to want to do this. However, Things do get easier. Somethings that i do is I cook extra food during the weekend and freeze it, so that way all i have to do warm it up.. I make sure that my kids are feed, showerd, and in bed by 7:30, on a late night 8pm.. this gives me a little more time to myself...Always try to plan ahead. I also dont have any family nor finacial support but I manage. Lots of prayer and i always try to keep my head up... Dont give ladys:redbeathe

vivi25 · Aug 5, 2009

Ive always wanted to be a nurse, recently I sufferd a life changing event that forced me to leave my secure job.... After 5 months of living on my savings i had to get on welfare. I hate that part, however they pay for childcare while i go to school... I go to school while they are in child care and my eldest in school... This year I will only have one in daycare,the 2 year old.. I just looked on line and registerd my 3 year old(soon to be 4 in Sept.) for an open pre-k school near my home. Here in NewYork they offer a lot of help to woman with children, such as housing vouchers, daycare, aftercare ect... just so we can better ourselves.

chae1975 · Aug 5, 2009

Wow. I commend you Ms. ViVi25. Keep doing what you do. I am from New York as well and you are correct, there a alot of assistance available for singel mothers. At the end of the tuttle it will pay off!

BabyCatchr, ADN, ASN, RN · Aug 5, 2009

That is wonderful and awesome, vivi25! That is what welfare should be used for. You are using it to better your life and your children's lives, and that is what our nation needs. We do not have that support here in Texas. Kudos to you!!

Ive always wanted to be a nurse, recently I sufferd a life changing event that forced me to leave my secure job.... After 5 months of living on my savings i had to get on welfare. I hate that part, however they pay for childcare while i go to school... I go to school while they are in child care and my eldest in school... This year I will only have one in daycare,the 2 year old.. I just looked on line and registerd my 3 year old(soon to be 4 in Sept.) for an open pre-k school near my home. Here in NewYork they offer a lot of help to woman with children, such as housing vouchers, daycare, aftercare ect... just so we can better ourselves.