Kicking The Habit or Kicking The Dog?

Stress and burnout are all too common among nurses. Here is one nurse’s account of how he identified and began to combat burnout in his own life. Nurses Announcements Archive

Published

As the month of March is coming to a close, I'm now only 2 months away from my 7-year anniversary as an RN. To many in this community, I'm sure that still seems "fresh." To me, I find it hard to believe that May 31st kicks off my 8th year as a registered nurse. Where did the time go? Look how much I've learned... look at the confidence and experience I've gained. Look at all I have still to even scratch the surface of...

Look at all of the times that I swore I'd quit.

The more I network with fellow nurses, the more I realize that thoughts like this are overwhelmingly common in the field of nursing and healthcare in general. Especially in more acute/critical departments, burnout is all too common. (I've worked just over 6 of my 7 years as an ER/ICU nurse.)

But the frustration remains: No matter how many "worth it" moments we have, there seems to be just as many aggravating, frightening, or heartbreaking moments standing in line to compete with the good times.

Over the past 6 months, I have struggled more than ever with letting negative experiences or the emotions connected with patient deaths bleed over into my personal life. I recall a few weeks ago lying in bed at 8am after a 7pm - 7am night shift in the ER that was particularly challenging. As I thought about life and death and work and all that's in between, my eyes started to well up with tears. Not because of what I had experienced at work that night, but because as I sat there thinking I could see so clearly how I had been letting these emotions spill into my life at home.

I'm a 26-year-old male nurse. Last August I was wed to the love of my life and have had the joy (and immense challenge) of raising her 3-year-old son with her. And for Christmas? We got a puppy - an adorable yellow lab named Bentley whom we love dearly and spoil and dote upon almost as much as we do with our son.

But as I laid there in bed, teary-eyed, I thought back over the last few months we've all spent together. I could remember times where I turned down opportunities to go on a walk with my wife and son and puppy because I felt so drained. I remembered times that I yelled most certainly too loudly at the puppy because of having accidents in the house while we potty train him. I remember times when our son would spill a drink or make a normal mistake that a toddler might make... and instead of meeting that circumstance with compassion and seizing the opportunity to teach him, I instead met it with anger and frustration, scolding him for not being more cautious. I remembered times when my wife would ask me "Are you ok?" at least three times in an hour because I was disengaged and distant, still trying to shake the negative emotions from what are common negative outcomes when you work as an Emergency Room nurse. I remember times where our intimacy suffered because I was either too tired, too sad/depressed, or we were both too frustrated after a day of fighting due to my "funk" that I couldn't shake.

Don't get me wrong... my wife is very supportive of me. She listens and understands to the best of her ability. But still, despite all of the support in the world, there are some things that just take time to shake.

And that's why I'm here now, writing this article. I knew something had to change. Although I love my job and the opportunities to help and heal and the profession in general, the monotony was killing me. I had to kick the "habits" instead of "kicking the dog."

So that's what I've been doing... changing things up. I'm still working the same job, same hours, same departments... but I'm adding things to my routines to kill the habits and the monotony. I've joined multiple online nursing communities, as well as two professional organizations: the ENA and the AACN. I'm studying for CEN and CCRN certifications, and going through the planning to start pursuing my bachelor's degree this coming fall or spring. And you know what? It's changed so much for me. There are still terrible shifts. There are still times when I lose my cool and feel exhausted... but I have a breath of fresh air and a renewed energy as I learn new things and pursue new goals.

Socrates once said "The unexamined life is not worth living." I think that holds true, in part, for our occupations as well. Are you being drained by habitual monotony at your job? Or are you expanding and advancing your career? Are you finding ways to challenge AND relax your mind? Or are you allowing the rollercoaster of emotions you might experience at work to bleed into your personal life? The unexamined career is not worth holding. Take a step back. Look at how far you've come, and set goals for your future. Admit when you lose your cool. Admit your faults if you're "kicking the dog." Apologize q1hr PRN. We all learn about the nursing process: Assessment, diagnosis, planning, implementation, and evaluation. We would do well do use the same process in evaluating our own careers, stressors, family lives, and mental health. After all, that's what nursing IS - identifying and treating the human response to life and stressors with compassion, knowledge, and respect. Take some time to be a nurse for yourself. Your health will improve. I can guarantee it.

What are some ways you have identified, experienced, or treated burnout in your own life? Comment below to share your story.

1
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Critical Care.

I wish you the best. Personally, for me to cope it took going on medication, antidepressants and I've used counseling at times. I do think you should consider both. I doubt being on a committee will fix your burnout. From those I know who have been on committees it was usually a waste in time where nurses were directed by management to fix unsolvable problems like patient satisfaction and patient falls, but without the actual staff and resources necessary to effect change. Most on committees become cynical and or quit.

That said, I'm sure it will look good on a resume. Also getting a BSN will give you more options besides bedside nursing. I just don't believe bedside nursing is physically and mentally sustainable for the vast majority of us. For those that remain, I see daily many are the walking wounded whether back problems or stress. I usually advise the newer nurses to treat floor nursing as a paid residency, gaining experience, while pursuing other long-term options. I've been in this for over 20 years and have only seen worsening conditions and without mandatory staffing levels like CA I just don't see bedside as a viable long-term option. I choose to remain because I feel I'm too close to retirement to go back to school. I'm simply unwilling to put myself in financial jeopardy of student loans in my 50's and I don't want to be working into my 70's. I've never been a workaholic and I'm looking forward to early retirement!

You are younger so it makes sense for you to go back to school to increase your job opportunities. I highly recommend it! Please seek out medical care and counseling rather than taking it out on your family and poor dog! For me a pet has been a life saver and I relish my free time to spend with him. Good luck to you and all those who are struggling with burnout.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

My new mantra is "Hit bags-not people" and the hot pink boxing gloves to go with it are awesome!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
I wish you the best. Personally, for me to cope it took going on medication, antidepressants and I've used counseling at times. I do think you should consider both. I doubt being on a committee will fix your burnout. . . That said, I'm sure it will look good on a resume. Also getting a BSN will give you more options besides bedside nursing. I just don't believe bedside nursing is physically and mentally sustainable for the vast majority of us. . . Please seek out medical care and counseling rather than taking it out on your family and poor dog!

It would be hard to disagree more with this comment. The OP is describing what already has been a successful treatment approach to his burnout (which sounds an awful lot like the early stages of PTSD). But brandy1017 is replying that it doesn't and won't work - because Brandy's response is to take medication and get away from the stressor.

The OP never said he joined committees, he joined online communities which are essentially peer support groups for him. One-on-one paid therapy isn't the only recognized form of effective counseling, and a medical response to stress reactions is by far not the only effective treatment.

The OP recognized that his relationships with his family and his dog were suffering, and took steps to change that, and had the generosity to report here what amounts to a valid strategy for self-care in the face of burnout when one doesn't want to just run away from the stresses, all of which I commend him for.

I wonder what's in it for brandy1017 to be such a naysayer.

As for myself, some necessary surgery and the resulting time off have given me the opportunity to reflect and consider options. I still haven't made up my mind where I go from here, but it's given me the opportunity, minus the mind-numbing stress of work, to really look at what causes my reactions to what happens at work. Not everyone responds the way I do, so what is it in me that exacerbates the response, and can I address that?

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Thanks for your feedback! Although I disagreed with Brandy1017's suggestion that I might require counseling or anti-depressants, I have considered both. But as you said, I am describing a treatment that (albeit self-prescribed) that has been effective for me. I actually completed a CE course from the ENA not too long ago on Stress/Burnout/PTSD, etc. Again, as you said, I felt I was either into or entering the stages of PTSD. This was a bit difficult for me to admit to myself, because in a way (and for me, as a man) it made me feel weak/embarrassed. When I hear the term PTSD, I typically think of combat veterans who have been through much worse than anything I've experienced... not the struggle with coping through work related stressors. Admitting that I may have a mild PTSD was difficult for me because I felt like "I should be able to handle it" and also like it would be insulting to people who have gone through worse. I'm learning though that stress and stress responses are highly individualized, and that's ok.

In the CE course from the ENA that I recently took, that actually highly recommended/stressed networking with other nurses and furthering your career and education as proven methods to combat PTSD and burnout in nurses. So far, for me, it's working well. That is not to say that it's a fool-proof method, but much to be considered if you feel you're finding yourself in a situation with the same symptoms or struggles that I've described.

Also, I'd like to clarify, I haven't ever physically abused my pup. It's difficukt for me to admit that I've "kicked the dog" verbally because I love animals a lot. But I'm using this term in the title in a non-literal way!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment