im a terrible manager *vent*

Were you successful in your previous two management positions?

As manager, you set the tone for your interactions with your staff. If you think you've been too friendly and now need to step back a little bit, perhaps that's what you need to do. But as far as employees disrespecting you . . . you control their evaluations, their pay raises and their continued employment. You have the power in this relationship.

Perhaps, if you are terrible at coaching and counseling people, you need to make these areas of your job a priority for improvement. Or, perhaps you'd be happier in a staff position. I aspired to management at one point, but fortunately I got over it. I like working my shift, going home, and forgetting about work until I'm due back there.

I tried management in two other places and right now I am 11-7 supervisor in LTC/ rehab due to relocating and needing a job fast. I think I can honestly say I suck at this job, Despite my 8 years of experience and master's degree in nursing education I feel like I am a horrible manager. Staff is confrontational, I am damned if I do and damned if I don't, I ask if they need help they say no, when I don't ask they say I don't help them. I ask what do you need help with I get "I don't know, you tell me what you want to do, youre the boss." I am terrible at couching people or counseling, I find it incredibly emotionally draining. I tried to be friendly with staff but I know they talk behind my back when I am not there. I know they say I don't do anything so I started doing less and less because I am so discouraged. I dread seeing them or doing rounds. I feel like I am always out of place, they've been here a very long time and I just got here 6 months ago. I didn't want to come on too strong so I feel like I let them get too friendly and too comfortable around me so now its too late to get their respect.

Sorry if Im just venting and rambling.

What do you think makes you a successful manager?

I do not ask if I can help, I just start helping. I learned when I was a new manager no one wanted to ask for help, but said the same thing about me, that I did not help. So, I stopped asking and just helped out. Have you ever worked the floor? If so, just start working with patients and pitching-in... They will not stop taking about you behind your back. However, the bad stuff they say will start to turn into positive things you will start hearing them tell other people about you.

As for coaching... Start rounding on them similar to rounding on patients. Get to know them and what they need to do their job successfully. Maybe it is as simple as replacing cheap broken equipment or organizing the supply room so the staff can find supplies. Other times your rounds may involve allowing them to vent just so he/she can feel better. We are not psychiatrist, but we are all-things-to-all-people. Good luck.