Should I withdraw from CRNA school?

I'm currently 1 year into a CRNA program that's 3 years in total. I can't help but think I won't be good enough for what this role entails. I'm worried I won't be smart enough to get through clinicals. I'm terrified to go to clinicals and I've considered withdrawing.

My program and being an OR nurse. My student loans haven't gotten that bad, so if I withdraw now, I can still back my debt without it being too financially devastating. I would plan to get 3 years of OR nursing experience under my belt and then be a travel OR nurse. I've always wanted to do traveling and I could still make six figures doing that and not have the level of responsibility as a CRNA. I don't know, but then there's the part of me that worries I'll regret withdrawing from CRNA school and I'll always wonder "what if?” I understand I can't have it both ways and I need to make up my mind. I'm just so overwhelmed. My mental health is *** right now and being in the program obviously isn't helping. I've always struggled with confidence and you need confidence to be a CRNA or else you're going to kill someone. I'm super depressed and I don't know if I'm making the right decision by doing CRNA school. I know I should be very grateful to be in this program because it's hard to get accepted, but I can't help but feel like I'm not going to be good enough or smart enough to be a safe CRNA. Can someone please help me? I'll take any advice I can get at this point.

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN]

I'm not an SRNA/CRNA but I think if you talk with other SRNAs many feel this way. However, you say your mental health is an issue. From your post, I get the idea that mental health is more than being an SRNA? Perhaps you need some outside help?

[Nurse Alexa, MSN, RN]

I would speak with colleagues as well, and I think you'd be pleasantly surprised that many feel the same way.

Starting a new position, and one with the most responsibility, is nerve wracking and I understand where you're coming from. 
 

Like you said, you don't want to regret your decisions. I would try to push forward and see if things get better. Also, talk with family and friends - the people who know you the best and see what's the best option for you.

 

Hope this helps 🙂  

[loveanesthesia]

First priority is to get some help for your depression. The college has resources, look for them on the website. Can you talk to your advisor and get guidance from them?

I've seen several students in your position and most of them became excellent CRNAs. But maybe it's not a good fit for you. 

most important is to manage the depression and then you can make a decision. 

[fsuandrea]

It sounds like you haven't started clinical yet.  I would wait for that to make your decision.  During clinical you will actually be doing the role and that will give you a good idea if you feel that you will actually enjoy this kind of work.  What is it about the OR nurse that appeals to you?  Less responsibility? Less debt?  This is a huge decision and I would get with a current upperclassman or CRNA that you can trust and talk it out. Try talking to a counselor or one of the professors.  Do you feel that you aren't being prepared by the school or that you aren't grasping the concepts?  Have you tried tutoring if that's the case?  

[alexanderthegreat]

I'm a brand new CRNA and I remember a few people in my cohort that felt this way before clinical and especially during the first couple months of clinical.  But they ended up doing great and loving it. Like other people have mentioned, try to use your resources for your mental health.   I would definitely do clinicals first too.  Just really make sure that dropping out is something you absolutely won't regret, because trying to get into another program will be damn near impossible if you change your mind after you drop out.  

[mdsRN2005]

fsuandrea said:

It sounds like you haven't started clinical yet.  I would wait for that to make your decision.  During clinical you will actually be doing the role and that will give you a good idea if you feel that you will actually enjoy this kind of work....  This is a huge decision and I would get with a current upperclassman or CRNA that you can trust and talk it out

I completely agree with this!  While it may be the case that you can absolutely do this job and love it but just need to stick it out a while, it could also be that this is not for you.  I think you're very wise to want to figure it out before you get too far in debt or spend too much time in the program.  Are your clinicals coming up soon or will they be in a later semester?  Talk to your instructors or any CRNAs you know to see if there's a way to shadow them at this point (just observing).  If you could do this I think you'd know pretty quickly if this is right for you.