Should I Stay or Should I Go

Specialties NICU

Published

I'm a new grad nurse and I'm actually still on orientation for 2 more weeks in a level 3 NICU. I have a history of anxiety and depression, and I've honestly never felt worse. I have a panic attack before work (sometimes during), and when I'm off, I can't stop thinking about going in. My stomach is constantly in knots and I have trouble sleeping. I've only been here about 10 weeks, but I have doubts that it will get any better for me. I feel so nervous around my preceptor, but I don't know if its me or her, honestly. I just feel like she's a bit harsh to me at times. I don't feel confident in anything that I'm doing and I just feel so stupid. Like I've never been to school at all. I've signed a contract to stay for 1 year, I'm trying to stick it out, but I'm so miserable. I've also thought about just staying until the end of the schedule (about 6 more weeks), seeing how im feeling, and if I'm still miserable I would start applying elsewhere or return to my old job. Do you think I'm giving up too easily? Does it get any better? Any words of encouragement?

NICU Guy, BSN, RN

4,161 Posts

Specializes in NICU.

To begin with, you are a new grad nurse. All new grads are going to feel anxious about starting their nursing career. Second, you are starting out in the NICU. Nursing school has practically zero training on NICU nursing care, so your statement about feeling like you didn't go to nursing school is correct because it did not prepare you for NICU as a new grad nurse which will add to your anxiety level.

It took me around 18 months post hire to begin to feel competent in the job even with a 135 hr Capstone placement in a Level IV NICU during nursing school. As you get more experience, your confidence will go up and anxiety level will go down. My advice is to look for an experienced nurse as a mentor. They can give you feedback and suggestions as to how you can improve post-orientation. 

Specializes in NICU.

I will add, a lot of NICU nurses get pretty protective of their patients - we're their main advocates really, since they can't speak up for themselves and their parents generally know a lot less about them than we do - which may be coming off as harsh in your preceptor.  I'm not saying it's ideal, but it is a thing.  May be worth talking to your educator if you think there's a genuine clash in personality, but bear this fact in mind.

And I second the opinion that you need WAYYY more than 10 or even 16 weeks in a level 3 NICU to begin to feel any sort of comfortable or confident.  It's a world that very few people ever see and schools almost never give you a peek into it.  In a way, it's almost good that you feel "stupid" - it means you understand how little you know coming into it (it's the overconfident new grads that are scary to preceptors) and shows you how much room you have to grow.

ElleArrghN

2 Posts

Specializes in NICU.

The answers you've gotten already are great. I wanted to add something I wish someone had told me when I graduated from nursing school! Your first year will feel like you are still in school no matter where you go! ESPECIALLY in such a specialized area like the NICU.
Find your resources and use them - your resources within the system you can look up to find meds and protocols AND the people you can turn to for help with things you aren't sure about.  There are always people willing to help you. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Find that mentor. Ask for a "buddy" after orientation if your manager will allow that...someone who you can match your schedule to and can be a resource and back-up for you for a certain number of weeks while you get your feet under you. Give it a little time.  2 or 3 months isn't going to tell you much except that you are overwhelmed!  In 6 or 7 months you'll get a better feel of things. In a year or so, you'll start to feel more like a nurse and not so much like a nursing student! 

nursingrules

32 Posts

On 9/28/2021 at 9:02 PM, Coffee Nurse said:

I will add, a lot of NICU nurses get pretty protective of their patients - we're their main advocates really, since they can't speak up for themselves and their parents generally know a lot less about them than we do - which may be coming off as harsh in your preceptor.  I'm not saying it's ideal, but it is a thing.  May be worth talking to your educator if you think there's a genuine clash in personality, but bear this fact in mind.

And I second the opinion that you need WAYYY more than 10 or even 16 weeks in a level 3 NICU to begin to feel any sort of comfortable or confident.  It's a world that very few people ever see and schools almost never give you a peek into it.  In a way, it's almost good that you feel "stupid" - it means you understand how little you know coming into it (it's the overconfident new grads that are scary to preceptors) and shows you how much room you have to grow.

Hi @Coffee Nurse, I saw your post about working at UCLA as a new grad in the NICU, and I was wondering if you still work in the NICU there? Thank you!!

Specializes in NICU.
11 hours ago, nursingrules said:

Hi @Coffee Nurse, I saw your post about working at UCLA as a new grad in the NICU, and I was wondering if you still work in the NICU there? Thank you!!

No, I left about a decade ago. The unit is amazing but I was done living in LA.

nursingrules

32 Posts

1 hour ago, Coffee Nurse said:

No, I left about a decade ago. The unit is amazing but I was done living in LA.

Thank you so much for replying! I was wondering if there was a way I could connect with you privately to talk more about the unit? I heard they haven’t taken new grads in 7 years. I have an interview there to work as a new grad and would love some advice! I know it has been awhile since you left, but any advice would be amazing!

Specializes in NICU.
1 minute ago, nursingrules said:

Thank you so much for replying! I was wondering if there was a way I could connect with you privately to talk more about the unit? I heard they haven’t taken new grads in 7 years. I have an interview there to work as a new grad and would love some advice! I know it has been awhile since you left, but any advice would be amazing!

Sure, if you like.

nursingrules

32 Posts

6 minutes ago, Coffee Nurse said:

Sure, if you like.

Thank you! How should I message you?

Specializes in NICU.
3 hours ago, nursingrules said:

Thank you! How should I message you?

DM is fine.

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