Should I have said something? Sorry kind of long!!

[RN-oneday]

I volunteer at a local hospital on Saturdays. I work with newborns in the mother/baby department. I love doing what I am doing but I tend to wonder about some of the patients parenting skills.

Some moms like to talk to me while I am doing what needs to get done. I am not sure if they talk to the nurses about some of the things that I hear. I would think not because I am in the room from 15-30 minutes. The nurses are so busy trying to overcome short staff and an overwhelming census. I know they do not get a chance to just be in the room and talk to the patients about other things besides the medical aspects of their life & stay. Most of the time what I hear is just common girl talk, about their family & work.

Well today, when I first met mom, I got this weird feeling. Everything was ok at first, mom started telling me about her other kids, one daughter & one step daughter, like they were one big happy family. Well come to find out, she lost custody of her daughter (baby lives with her father) and they hardly see step daughter. I was kind of shocked that she was telling me this. She then went on to say that she was not breast feeding because no one was going to make her have pain. Well I think what really made me worry, she said that when she gets home she will make the baby wait to eat when she get home. Basically saying that just because the baby is hungry does not mean that she will be fed. I really try not to judge people because I know what it is like to be judged. But I just could not get it out of my mind that something just was not right about baby going home.

I did not say anything to the nurses about it because I was not sure if it was my place. She seemed like she really loved the baby, but I am was not sure if it was an act. Should I have said something to the nurses? I know people tend to let babies cry, so they don't get "spoiled" but when I put everything together it just bothered me and it still is.

I want to work in peds when I get out of school. I am wondering now, if I will be able to do so without judging parents that might not conform to what I believe to be the "norm". How do the nurses in these areas determine if there might be a possible problem with discharging child to go home. I understand that people believe different things when it comes to bringing up children, but when do you start wondering about the safety of the baby/child? When I get out of school I want to be an advocate for my patients, but I do not want to cause problems for parents that are not the "norm"

Any advice you guys can give me would be appreciated it. I would hate for me to get the "feeling" and pass on it because I did not want to cause problems.

[twinmommy+2, ADN, BSN, MSN]

Perhaps the patient just needed some education on how to properly care for a baby. I would have contacted the nurse about what was said and then they could better assess whether some education was needed or if they needed to call social services. But you would be suprised the amount of women who really don't know how to properly care for infants.

[grinnurse, RN]

IMO, it doesn't matter what position you work in, you too are responsible for the patients, in this case not only the Mom but the baby as well. If this conversation put questions in your head about the competency of the Mom to care for this child you should have told the nurse and let him/her decide what course of action, if any, should be taken. This may have been the Moms way of asking for "help" or something. From your post, I am assuming that you are working toward a nursing degree. With that in mind, you need to start to learning to trust your instincts. It is hard learning this but will help you tremendously in the future. Because aids, techs, volunteers, actually do get to spend more time with the patients and often see and hear things that we don't, the nurse depends on ya'lls help in caring for the patient. Don't ever be afraid of "causing problems" for the patient or the nurse. Tell the nurse in charge of the patients care if you see something out of the ordinary or hear something that puts your "red flag" up.

Please don't take this as a scolding but take it to heart so you will know what to do in the future. It could literally save a life!! Good luck in the nursing field.

[judyblueeyes]

I might make a SS or Lact consult request and pass what you learned on to the nurse. The APA (and everyone else I lnow of) heartily recommend demand feeding and discourage scheduled feeds.

[babynurselsa, RN]

Anytime that you observe something that concerns you REPORT IT. Yes, definitely let your nurses know about thins like this. It would appear that there are already issues. It would be of benefit to the baby and to the mother.

[labcat01, BSN, RN]

I always feel like you should go with your gut-

now that being said you also have to realize some other things:

breastfeeding can be very painful (when done incorrectly) and not a lot of women are keen on going through that.

Also, there is a very popular parenting book that reccomends that you feed babies on a schedule rather than on demand (when they are hungry).

So now that you know what your up against... you should still go with your gut and do your best to educate your patients. Good luck!

[RN-oneday]

IMO, it doesn't matter what position you work in, you too are responsible for the patients, in this case not only the Mom but the baby as well. If this conversation put questions in your head about the competency of the Mom to care for this child you should have told the nurse and let him/her decide what course of action, if any, should be taken. This may have been the Moms way of asking for "help" or something. From your post, I am assuming that you are working toward a nursing degree. With that in mind, you need to start to learning to trust your instincts. It is hard learning this but will help you tremendously in the future. Because aids, techs, volunteers, actually do get to spend more time with the patients and often see and hear things that we don't, the nurse depends on ya'lls help in caring for the patient. Don't ever be afraid of "causing problems" for the patient or the nurse. Tell the nurse in charge of the patients care if you see something out of the ordinary or hear something that puts your "red flag" up.

Please don't take this as a scolding but take it to heart so you will know what to do in the future. It could literally save a life!! Good luck in the nursing field.

I usually go with my gut about many things I do in life. But for whatever reason, I am not so comfortable doing it there. I feel like I am passing judgement. I know I will start having to go with my gut more often. I hope trusting myself comes with more time on the floor when I do clinicals. But thank you for the encouragement.:thankya:

[RN-oneday]

I might make a SS or Lact consult request and pass what you learned on to the nurse. The APA (and everyone else I lnow of) heartily recommend demand feeding and discourage scheduled feeds.

The lactation consultant goes into each and every room to talk to the parents about feeding. She is really good with the moms and this mom liked to talk. I did hear the nurses talking to her about the feeding schedule at the nurses station later. So I kind of felt like mom was opening up to them.

I just did not know if I should pass on what I felt to the nurses. But next time I will make sure if I feel weird I will let someone know.

[RN-oneday]

Thanks everyone... I will call the volunteer head tomorrow and talk to them about policy on this situation. I will have to start trusting myself when it comes to having a gut feeling.

I think the issue I was having yesterday was there was a baby going up for adoption because it tested positive for drugs. I had a bunch of ill feelings for that mom. I knew nothing of this mom. I knew nothing of her situation in life. But I just could not get the feeling of anger out of my mind. So when I came across this situation, my bad parent sensors where already activated. (I hope this is making sense) Like I said in my op, I want to go into Peds when I get out of school. I just hope I can learn to trust myself. If not I am not sure what I am going to do with my future. Thanks again to every one for your honest opinions.