Serious Role Confusion

[resilientnurse]

I am entering my last NP clinical this coming Fall and feel quite happy to know that I have reached the end of my graduate program (I still have one MSN core course next semester though, but my concentration courses are soon-to-be over). My issue is that I feel myself rapidly detaching emotionally from my work and co-workers alike as a RN, although this role is still what is paying my bills including my tuition. I still work as a floor nurse, as well as at a community health clinic giving injections because for the time being well, nothing pays better.

However, there is a great part of me that now feels as though this work is beneath me and I feel resentful of it. Subsequently, I have to work very hard with myself daily to demonstrate the exact opposite. I do recognize that I will always be a nurse and that this is the very foundation of what my new role will be. However, I am starting to already see myself and feel like a clinician/nurse leader. I am not an arrogant or obnoxious person, but I simply cannot get myself off the floor fast enough.

As a side note, I am a second-career nurse. When I started nursing school, I knew that I would be an APN and/or eventually obtain a doctorate. However, personal and financial circumstances prevented me from immediate graduate study after the BSN.

I was just wondering if these feelings are normal and if anyone else has had a similar experience and how you coped with the excitement of being so close to the finish line.

[Kimyen]

I'm not in your shoes yet -:), but I want to get some advises from you and allnureses. Should I go straight to MSN right after BSN or should I get some real experiences and come back to MSN later?

Thanks all in advance!

[elkpark]

I am a psych CNS who returned to working "bedside" (floor) psych nursing for a few years, after years as an APN, for reasons of financial necessity and limited professional opportunities in the rural area in which I prefer to live. It was interesting being back in the staff nurse role, but I certainly did not feel the work was "beneath me" or lacked value in any way. I was able to set an example and do some inforrmal education with other staff, got a lot of positive feedback about my contributions to the units on which I worked, and was perceived as a "leader" by the staff with whom I worked.

I've found over the years that most jobs are what you make of them, and come down to what your own attitude about them is. I wonder if your comment about knowing from the start that you planned to pursue advanced practice isn't the biggest issue. You can be a "nursing leader" in any setting, in any role -- that's something that comes from what you bring to a particular situation, not an arbitrary title. If you have something of value to offer in a particular setting/role, people will see that and respond to it.

[craftysari44]

It is normal to feel this way. Something inside you is ready to go forward and start your new career. Your Master's Program has not only given you the content information you needed but also the emotional maturity and so things are not the same... Give yourself a break and understand that you will have to grieve the loss of the old role even if you enjoyed it & have friends in order to completely make the transition to being a Nurse Practitioner.

Ann

[resilientnurse]

Dear Ann, thank you for your comments. I value your insight. I suspected that these were normal feelings; this tug and war between the two roles. I live some distance from my University and my contact with other NP students is limited, but felt the need to reach out. Thank you again.

[nurseclm]

Get over yourself! I graduated from law school but never, ever forgot that I was an RN first! Excitement is OK, feelings that your job functions are now beneath you, no. Interesting post though. Good luck to you. My Mom always taught me be nice to the people you meet on the way up, because you may need them when you fall back down. Good advice. Thank your co-workers and managers for helping you on your way up!

[resilientnurse]

Dear Nurseclm,

While I'm very happy for you that you "never, ever forgot" that you are a nurse first, please note that transitioning was the focus of my inquiry. I wrote that: "I do recognize that I will always be a nurse and that this is the very foundation of what my new role will be." You, yourself, nonetheless sought to expand your professional role with a law degree. This has nothing to do with feeling ill towards my colleagues (don't make inferences), but the pains associated with emotionally outgrowing one's job or scope of professional practice.

[bubblejet50]

I felt a similar feeling when I got my lpn and my rn. I just used this to my advantage. I communicated well with the staff under me and was able to become a more efficient and respected nurse because I knew what the lesser licenses felt like and what the scopes of practice were. I think that you want to.get off the floor because in clinicals and theory you do have a higher scope of practice but on the floor you cannot act in this way. You have to rein in your knowledge which is against how our society teaches us.

[nurseclm]

Good luck with your new career. I must remember, your feelings are your feelings, whatever they may be.