Second Chances

I failed 2nd semester nursing school.I wallowed in misery for a bit, then I picked myself back up again. I did my remediation and was given a second chance. Woo-hoo, I moved onto 3rd semester:) and I encourage those who are at their breaking point to look into their soul and make a plan. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

NUMB. FROZEN. PARALYZED. STUPID. FAILURE. I felt these emotions and more on that decided day. I failed second semester nursing school and I was done. I failed by 1% exactly. Such a small percent in general yet oceans apart in nursing school. This number represented the difference between the haves and have-nots. Those that moved forward and those that stood still. I was the latter.

The final scores were posted in the nursing lounge on the bulletin board where all could see. People were high fiving and running around in small circles of happiness. And then there were those of us with solemn expressions of pained disappoint.

All I was thinking at that moment was please don't ask me if I made it or not. My classmates would be moving on without me. Maybe it was a mistake. I checked my score again.

No mistake...I failed.

I somehow managed to make my way down the corridor for my exit interview. My feet felt so heavy and my shoulders felt like I had a giant boulder on each one. As I sat in the hall waiting my turn, I could hear muffled sobs of failure, and in the distance I could also hear those fortunate ones who made it and their unrestrained cheering which put a dagger through my soul.

I was in shock and disbelief.

I was a shiny embarrassment for all to see. In a moments notice my life changed and it changed for the worse. I'm not a young student anymore but a married woman who had a husband who worked overtime to put me through school so I wouldn't have to work. I screwed up and wasted precious time and money that we really didn't have. I was also at the expiration date of my pre-reqs. If I wanted to enroll in another nursing program I'd have to take all my pre-reqs over again. This all equated to more time and money that I didn't have.

How did I let this happen?

All of my tiny mistakes added up and led me to this.

I always wanted to be a registered nurse but also felt that I wasn't smart enough to make it. Maybe my insecurities came to fruition? Perhaps I should do something else? All these miserable thoughts overcame me so I walked to my car, drove down the parking lot where no one could hear me and I screamed at the top of my lungs. I screamed over and over again until my throat waved it's white flag.

I composed myself and drove back and waited for my turn at the exit interview. With my head hung low, I asked if I could start over and was told that my chances were pretty good if I completed remediation. That's all I needed to hear! If they let me back in I would exhaust all resources possible before I was willing to accept this permanent failure.

I repeated second semester and passed! I am officially a 3rd semester student and will begin in Fall 2011! I challenge those of you who failed, who think they are too old, who think they are not smart enough, who think about giving up to dig deep down within and lift yourself up and do whatever it takes. I admit that I am not the smartest or the youngest student nurse out there but I AM very determined. There was a quote I heard and it's something to the effect of "There are those who fall down and there are those who stay down"...this time I am not the latter.

Thank you so much for your post!!! I can't tell you how many times I have felt those exact feelings. I am 44 going through nursing school. I have finished my first semester, just getting into school itself was a challenge for me. I am a single mother working and going through school and it is ROUGH at times. Thanks again for the words of encouragement!! Good Luck with the remainder of school!!

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Congrats to you! I am so thrilled you saw this 1% as a small stone and not a boulder. Stay positive :)!

thank you! bless us nurses,

caffeine

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My dear, never, never, never give up....Just think, anyone who has failed and repeated nursing tests or courses only get double the education...never too much education...the test of success is really how many times you can get up when you are knocked down by life. I just became a Nurse Practitoner one year ago, I am 55 years old and foreign born. I want to get a Phd in Public Health and go back to my country to work with the poor there. As a NP working with geriatrics you can make $130,000 a year in the depressed economy of Ohio. Education gives us options in life. Failure is just a stepping stone!

I congratulate you for going back and taking it up, you my dear are my hero!

pdaniele3,

thank u. i needed to hear that! Good luck 2 u and lets make the world a better place :)

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Oh how familiar this story is to me. While reading your post, I thought this was me in 2008. However, I was so depressed and angry with myself that I refused to go back. Even though, I failed my third semester in the generic program I had an opportunity to start over in the track program because I was a LPN. At that time, I refused to start over and put my family through this. 3years later I have not earned my RN degree and prerequist need to be repeated. I am over the failure and REFUSED to give up. I am now enrolled with Excelsior and loving every moment. I can see the light at the end by the grace of God. Good luck with your studies.

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I am so relieved to of seen this post. I too failed at Nursing school last fall. After much bad mouthing, wallowing in self pity, etc, etc, I re enrolled for this fall. I am excited to go back and I realized what I did and didn't do as a student. Staying clear of drama and downers is essential!!! Studying more or more smart is crucial. My family fell under duress last fall and I needed them more than school. Now that all is well and I have an incredible job working in home care and support from my spouse, I WILL SUCCEED THIS FALL!!!

Thank u for the inspiration to go on!!

Survrgrl08,

U absolutely will succeed this fall. U will come back with a clarity and determination like nobody's bizzness! These failures truly do make us stronger.

Good luck 2 u,

Caffeine

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I was in the first quarter of the second year when I had to have surgery. I missed too many days of class but was passing until the final. I was still under strong medications when I dragged my butt into the school for the final. I failed. So, I took a year and caught up with myself and took some classes for my Bachelor's degree. When I did jump back into the program 1 yr. later, I passed at the age of 53! I just passed the NCLEX-RN last week! You are never too old to chase your dreams!

U have inspired me!

Thank u,

Caffeine

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Thank you so much for your post!!! I can't tell you how many times I have felt those exact feelings. I am 44 going through nursing school. I have finished my first semester, just getting into school itself was a challenge for me. I am a single mother working and going through school and it is ROUGH at times. Thanks again for the words of encouragement!! Good Luck with the remainder of school!!

Animalcookie1,

First of all, Bless the single mama's out there and esp. u going thru nursing school. U r my hero and we will make it and change the world.

Caffeine

ps i love animal cookies :)

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Oh how familiar this story is to me. While reading your post, I thought this was me in 2008. However, I was so depressed and angry with myself that I refused to go back. Even though, I failed my third semester in the generic program I had an opportunity to start over in the track program because I was a LPN. At that time, I refused to start over and put my family through this. 3years later I have not earned my RN degree and prerequist need to be repeated. I am over the failure and REFUSED to give up. I am now enrolled with Excelsior and loving every moment. I can see the light at the end by the grace of God. Good luck with your studies.

ready2BaRN,

Thank u sooo much for ur response. God bless u for not giving up.Having regrets is a tremendous burden especially when we can absolutely change the future. Good luck at Excelsior, I know u will do well!

Caffeine

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Dear Caffeineaddict,

First of all thank you very much for posting this, I was and still am in the similar situation. LVN-Transition I passed the class and the last of the class we still have to finish the skills. Passed all the skills and down for the last one, BAM! failed!. It was the longest one hour ever! All my classmate been telling me "you will be ok", "Im sure you are in" I was waiting for the instructor to talk to me about what I did wrong, we argue, but at the end "you failed, Im sorry". I was devastated, I fought but lost the battle, I came out the room crying, my classmates are waiting for me outside and they all cried with me. I called my husband and told him the "bad news", I was angry at myself mostly.

I waited for 1 yr to get in to the class and I told myself I will do everything to pass the class, it was not an easy class, everybody was struggling, but we kept trying, we kept each other positive. But I guess, it was not enough. Now, its been 2 days and I still keep thinking, "if I could've, would've,...." I couldn't sleep, i couldn't eat, My poor husband and 2 children been trying to cheer me up. But I just couldn't. I know there is nothing I could do or anyone could do at this point to make it easier or better, but I am still hoping.

I need to move on but it will probably take a while..the class was sooo hard and I couldnt see myself to go through the same thing again, but I know i have too. This is what I want, I am 31 yrs old, my mom said "you're young, you have plenty of time to reach your dream". But it is HARD. So I have been browsing the web and this site looking for something, then i found this.

Again, Thank you very much for sharing your experience and you made share mine. I know in my heart I wanted to be a nurse, that THIS is just a minor set back and I will come back next Feb (if they will give a spot) stronger and wiser.

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I've been there. But to wallow in misery gets you nowhere.. That's why we have to keep moving forward and do our very best!

@PerelliFNP "the test of success is really how many times you can get up when you are knocked down by life" - so true

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