Scared that I hate nursing

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Hello everyone.

Short and brief back story on myself. Started volunteering with a great medical program from 15 years old to 18 years old. 18 years old I became a CNA and 18 years old - 26 years old I have been working as a nurse assistant. Nursing homes, hospice. Etc I always have wanted to be a nurse and I was extremely happy to have been given a job at a great hospital as a tech for night shift in Ortho trauma. I was so happy and thought it would be a great advancement in my career. 8 months later, I am the most miserable person you have ever met. In my 10 years of healthcare I have never had so much anxiety hours or days before a shift (knowing of going in). It's getting to a point where I cannot do this anymore and I'm not sure what changed. Anyone else feel this way ? I'm tired.... thought a hospital position would be great...even more upsetting that it was quite the opposite and now I'm reconsidering if I can even do this anymore in healthcare. Maybe it's the ortho floor ? From what I have read on this website, ortho is hard. Hard mentally I believe and demanding. Also every coworker I speak to is sad and wants to transfer..... any thoughts ? Advice ?

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Specializes in PICU, Sedation/Radiology, PACU.

It sounds like you enjoyed your job prior to this position. And it sounds like your feelings of stress and burn out are echoed by your colleagues on the floor. Also, is this your first night shift position? Lots of people have difficulty with the transition to night shift. You've got a lot of experience and if you think that a different unit or location would be a better fit for you, there's nothing wrong with looking for a new job.

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I agree with Double Helix. It sounds like the issue may be either the facility you are working at, night shift, or it is just being on an ortho floor. Ortho is difficult and can be very demanding (as of course most areas of nursing are). Maybe it just isn't for you? I'd be willing to bet the farm that there is a job out there that you will love. You may just need to look around. Don't lose heart. I'm not clear if you are a nurse yet, or still working as a tech, but with the experience you have, you should be able to find something better.

I applaud you for sticking it out in a miserable position for 8 months. I see so many people here on AN who leave jobs for much less.

Best of luck in finding a better fit!

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"I always have wanted to be a nurse ". The fact is.. you are not a nurse. Therefore, you cannot be afraid that you hate nursing.

Your current position as a tech/ nursing assistant, addresses a different problem.

Hospital positions always require a more intense focus on your skills.

Best of luck to you, please do not infer you are a nurse.

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It sounds like you enjoyed your job prior to this position. And it sounds like your feelings of stress and burn out are echoed by your colleagues on the floor. Also, is this your first night shift position? Lots of people have difficulty with the transition to night shift. You've got a lot of experience and if you think that a different unit or location would be a better fit for you, there's nothing wrong with looking for a new job.

This. I would get very depressed working nights. Some just can't.

I don't think this is indicative of a miserable future nursing career.

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Specializes in Geriatric Assessment, management and leadership.

Sounds like you are saying you are miserable at this job, and you are unsure what is different in this job than your last. Take the time to make a list of what you liked at your last job and what you dislike in this one. Then compare. You will learn better what makes you content in a position. Let us know what happens.

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+1 that it sounds like it's your current job that you hate rather than the whole field. Particularly if all your coworkers feel negatively about the place and want to leave, it's understandable why you'd be miserable in your current position. I'd say keep applying to new jobs (even better if you can stick to a goal of sending out at least 3-5 applications per day), and I think you'll find that working hours that suit you in an environment with a positive work culture will make all the difference.

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Hi, I first worked as a CNA at a LTC facility, which had a depressing element to it already, but what really plunged me into a deep sadness that made me tired and sad all the hours I wasn't working was just this: working night shift. Melatonin production is disrupted when your circadian rhythm is disrupted. Any sleep disruption or change can contribute greatly to depression and studies have shown nurses who work night shifts are more prone to stress-related illnesses like cancer (and other stuff). So I'm going to guess (I'm not a doctor or psychologist, just a CNA taking pre-nursing courses, like patho and A/P) that part of your problem is the hours you are working, and since everyone working that shift is in the same boat, it is probably both the department and the hours, but I bet if you worked ortho during the day, and got your melatonin production back to normal, and honored the body's natural night/day hours, you would be a LOT more joyful and energetic. I know this is a hard "pill" for nurses and medically employed people to swallow because sometimes it's the only job we can get. I am now unemployed because I am having trouble finding a job that doesn't require night hours, but I really don't ever want to do that to myself again. It's not worth it to feel so depressed all the time, and isolated from much of the world.

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Sorry I repeated what someone else previously said, but it is true and an important element some others are missing. : )

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Specializes in ICU.

I've known very few people who actually liked ortho.

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