Scared to go to work, no self-confidence, worse every year

Jules A, MSN · Dec 24, 2009

You don't take any meds/drugs at this time. That is great ...because this anxiety is not treated, induced or mixed with anything now.

Although I'm sure your heart is in the right place please don't discourage someone from taking medication when we have no idea as to whether or not it is needed. As a psych nurse I treat very ill people every day that likely could have avoided hospitalization and decompensation if they took their medications. Sadly there is still a stigma where psych meds are concerned and well meaning friends and family are often the ones convincing them they can go it alone. It does a disservice to those that need medication.

greenfiremajick · Dec 24, 2009

Although I'm sure your heart is in the right place please don't discourage someone from taking medication when we have no idea as to whether or not it is needed. As a psych nurse I treat very ill people every day that likely could have avoided hospitalization and decompensation if they took their medications. Sadly there is still a stigma where psych meds are concerned and well meaning friends and family are often the ones convincing them they can go it alone. It does a disservice to those that need medication.

Hi, Jules- I didn't take it that she is advocating for no meds. I took it that she meant that it was a good thing that the OP was not currently on meds, in regards to trying to figure out what's going on and deal with it, etc. I may be wrong, though! Zuzi, what exactly did you mean?

To the OP: i hope you feel better. When I was a kid, I was mercilessly picked upon. Every Sun night I would go to bed dreading the idea that I would have to go to school the next day and start a whole new week. I called those feelings, the "Sun night blues."

After becoming a really angry, mean spirited person from the torture as a child, I began to take a real look at who I was, on the inside. I was an only child that spent a WHOLE lot of time alone and I was helpless, hopeless, and afraid (which is a whole 'nother story about what happened between me and my parents). I let the anger go, but after the anger, came the uncertainty, and more fear. As I grew older, those Sun night blues started to affect me before going to work. I eventually learned to "put my blinders on."

You remind me of someone that's extraordinarily empathic and sensitive to others emotions (maybe through an abusive past, genetics, whatever). Sometimes, we need to be able to stop looking around us at everyone else and simply concentrate on what needs to be done. It truly is sometimes mind over matter (in addition to healing, and possibly meds). It's important to put those blinders on and continue striding forward with confidence, accomplishing what needs to be done.

Eventually, I learned to value myself and to begin taking deep breaths, and to relax more. I agree with the other posters about getting mental health support. Self action on healing and mental health support is what will get you through. Just don't give up. I wish you the best.

Start working on your self esteem; it makes a HUGE difference.

EmmyBee · Dec 24, 2009

Hello,
I'm thinking I've posted this before a long time ago, but I am out of ideas. All last year was a blur, with several jobs but because I had excessive absences, I lost every one of them. The people who love me all wonder why I do this to myself, why I cause myself more low self-esteem, increase my fear, and scary financial distress. I wonder why myself.
I am one of those persons that as the hours draw closer to going to work, I feel horribly scared and can't sleep. I sometimes vomit. Everytime I call out, I put more financial hardship on myself.
Thnk about all the demands at work, I think of busy staff who tend to get snippy. I think of new jobs, new ways of doing things. I think of making mistakes. Generally I believe I'm a good nurse, skilled in many ways, but my thoughts and emotions get the better of me.
I am so poor and with my lack of work and absences, I get poorer. I need help. I am not taking any psychotropic meds or seeing a psychologist right now and I have no insurance. I probably should do self-study CBT or something. I'm in a job right now and I'm just starting, but I'm already missing.
Please help me. Has anyone experienced what I am experiencing? Any worthy books out there? Thanks so much.
Scared

I think that you have received some great advice so far. I definitely agree that seeking professional help is your first step. The root of your problems need to be identified, before anything can be resolved or diminished.

Whether it's weekly counseling, medications, whatever...be assured that help IS out there. With perseverance and a positive attitude, your life can eventually get back on track. And remember, like others have mentioned, there are many people out there who struggle with some of these same issues. So don't feel like you're alone.

Another thing that you might want to consider, while you are receiving help, is to get a job with less stress. Maybe you should take a break from mass patient care for a while. There are jobs like chart reviewing, auditing, telephone case manager, hospice, or even working in a school, to name a few. That way you won't have the "burden" of worrying so much about making a vital mistake.

I'm not saying the above jobs aren't as important as a hospital or an LTC facility. But maybe if you get a job where you are one on one with a patient, have only a handful of patients with routine care, or doing paperwork, you will be able to earn a living without being in a panic, while seeking help at the same time. Then once you are ready, you can go back to what you are doing now.

Either way, I hope it all works out for you! Good luck. :up:

FowLaf24/7 · Dec 24, 2009

The symptoms which you describe are related to depression/anxiety...without the proper assistance from the professionals, you will be posting here forever of your lack of progress. You have no choice but to get the help you need!:paw::paw:

zuzi · Dec 25, 2009

Greenfiremajik PERFECT RIGHT! To have a good dx, and a good tx in any disease, much more in a psych disease is thousand times more more easy on a "clean" patient , never affected by ASE of any meds took or tooked.

OK and to not forget, a good shrink, a good psych, less enrolled "to promote or test" meds from meds companies or any other "bussiness related" points much more than patinet first second and the last!

Thanks for interpretation!

zacarias, ASN, RN · Dec 29, 2009

Hello,

I want to thank you all for the thoughtful comments you all have made. Some have actually given some wonderful tips on dealing with my anxiety and lack of self-confidence. Some of these tips I had never thought of myself. I was also touched by the person who reviewed my posting history and noticed a change in my life that betrayed myself in my posts.

I am not continuing my current job as it is far away from where I live, and I'm too scared/anxious to go even though I wanted to with all my heart. While I'm poorer than anything, my family wants me to take a little break to take care of myself. Unfortunately I can't apply for unemployment or low cost healthcare options because I live across the border in Mexico and don't actually have a permanent US address.

I want to start applying for jobs again but people say to wait. But I just wonder how we will pay rent, live, eat, and be OK. My family has helped when they're not really in a position to themselves.

I've had so much trouble for so long that my references and work history suffer even though I'm a very good nurse. I'm wondering how I will get another job, how I will find a kind-hearted person/company/HR/manager to believe in me even though I have red flags. What have other nurses done to get around this?

Again, thank you so much to everyone for their comments; I feel like this is such a supportive group.